Friday, December 19, 2025
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Paul Simon Gets a Hero’s Welcome on Return to Beacon Theater from “Retirement,” Whoopi Goldberg Front and Center

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What a night for Paul Simon last night in New York!

The famed singer songwriter is on his “Quiet Celebration” tour, coming out of self imposed retirement in 2018 after claiming hearing losses had done him in.

Quite the contrary: Simon, 82, is in great form even if his voice has lost some of its texture. The power and intent are there, and the voice grows and opens as the evening goes on. (One celebrity in the audience: Whoopi Goldberg, solo, third row center.)

It was a moving experience to see Simon live again after he promised his touring career was over. I first saw him in 1975 at DAR Constitution Hall in New York when “Still Crazy After All These Years” had just been released. An astonishing 50 years later, he’s still presenting a new album — “Seven Psalms” — as a 30 minute opening act.

As he sang last night in “The Cool Cool River”: “I believe in the future.” He sure does.

“Seven Psalms” is an introspective piece punctuated by a complex yet melodic composition brought to life by Simon’s extraordinary 8 piece ensemble. This includes two guitarists, a keyboard player, drummer, two violinists and a flutist each of whom elevate his sound.

It is a ‘quiet celebration.’ Simon has wisely turned even his numerous legacy hits into jazz, folk, and blues. There’s no rock, which is probably due to the hearing issue. The arrangement are delicate, very finely woven, while Simon himself sits for most of the show. Listen, after 60 years of entertaining us, he can do whatever is best for him.

“Cool Cool River” is one of two songs in the show from “The Rhythm of the Saints,” and for me, the centerpiece. Simon — a master lyricist, one of the very finest — is impassioned when he sings these lines:

I believe in the future
We shall suffer no more
Maybe not in my lifetime
But in yours, I feel sure

It’s not easy to be optimistic in these times, but that’s the direction Simon has taken in this tour. No political rants or even asides. Even thought I wished he’d sung “American Tune,” the 1973 song about alienation, I see why he didn’t. This is a show that offers hope.

The 13 songs in part 2 of the show are, as Simon described them, hits and deep tracks. Among the former: “Homeward Bound,” “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard,” “Graceland,” “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” and “The Boxer.” The latter — which some consider his best song — defines Simon at this moment as the defiant survivor. The show ends with Simon, solo on guitar, with a very punchy “Sound of Silence” delivered with warmth and confidence.

Was it a historic night? Maybe. We might not see this again. Simon’s singer wife Edie Brickell joined him on two songs. Simon told a few stories, including one about how he came to write “Renee and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War.” He also noodled around with the acoustic intros to a few old songs like “Hazy Shade of Winter,” just as a nod to their existence. His jubilation at the end you can see in the picture I took. “A Quiet Celebration” is a victory.

Shout to the band: Mark Stewart, Caleb Burhans, Jamey Haddad, Gyan Riley, Mick Rossi, Andy Snitzer, Nancy Stagnitta,Eugene Friesen, and Steve Gadd/Matt Chamberlin alternating on drums.

“Naked Gun” Is Back, With Liam Neeson, Pamela Anderson, and CCH Pounder, But Not Creator David Zucker

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“Naked Gun” is back.

This time, the classic comedy is rebooted by Akiva Schaffer and Seth MacFarlane.

But it’s without creator David Zucker, who told TMZ recently he won’t be seeing it.

The trailer is below. Liam Neeson plays Frank Drebin, Jr. son of the Leslie Nielsen character. Pamela Anderson and the great CCH Pounder co-star.

It looks like a paint by numbers version of the original “Naked Gun.” Funny? Sure. Groundbreaking? No.

Why do studios do this stuff? Now Zucker should go reboot “Ted,” call it “Fred.”

Blunt Bieber: Pop Star Posts Showing Off $100K Gold Watch, Holding a Joint, Texts Dumping Friend Over Not Respecting “Trauma”

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If you follow Justin Bieber on Instagram, it’s alarming.

The 31 year old former pop star, now married to a wealthy woman, hasn’t done anything productive in years, except for fathering a child.

He blathers on and on about his problems, and fights with paparazzi. He walks around holding his pants up from the crotch as if he’s in pain from a urinary tract infection.

TMZ says he’s broke, personally. But somehow he’s obtained a diamond encrusted Audemars Piguet watch that cost around $100,000 — maybe more. It was his Father’s Day gift, either from wife Hailey, or to himself.

He posted several pictures of it on his wrist, including one in which he’s holding a blunt. That’s a joint. Not James Blunt. Justin Blunt.

A lot of the pictures on his Instagram are of Justin in closeup stoned out of his gourd.

He’s also posted a text exchange with a friend he’s dumped. The friend, whom he calls a “pussy,” didn’t respect his “trauma.”

Money doesn’t necessarily buy happiness. In this case, it sure hasn’t. Are we heading for a disaster here? Or will someone on the inside intervene and help this kid?

For a second it looked like he might have been making music. He took his bro’s to a secluded spot in Canada or Iceland and there was some evidence of a studio. But all they did was post pictures of themselves goofing around and getting high. 

Justin is also obsessed with designed slippers. He’s posted a lot of pictures of them under a brand he calls Skylark. Does the world need more slippers? From Justin Bieber? 

Beatles 2.0: Drummer Zak Starkey, Son of Ringo, Announces Single with Vocals by Sean Ono Lennon, James McCartney (Listen)

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This is just what we needed this morning.

Drummer Zak Starkey, son of Ringo Starr and formerly with The Who, has announced a new single.

Under the name Masters of the Cosmos, he’s posted a clip from “Rip Off,” featuring vocals by Sean Ono Lennon and James McCartney.

Zak says it sounds nothing like the Beatles, but it does because who else was it going to sound like? It’s the Beatles 2.0 and Zak, we’ll take it.

Says the proficient drummer: “It’s like Mantra of the Cosmos with them in it. It’s Sean of the Cosmos and James of the Cosmos, it’s still my band.”

This may be a one off thing. Sean and James have collaborated on a couple of songs earlier. All they need now is Dhani Harrison and Julian Lennon, and we’re all set.

A nice moment. Will it be released for real?

Don’t Make Her Over: Dionne Warwick Making a Surprise Appearance at the Apollo Theater June 27th

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Dionne Warwick is coming to the Apollo Theater.

In 10 days!

“Don’t Make Me Over: Dionne Warwick in Her Own Words” is a surprise booking at the Apollo set for June 27th.

Tickets just went on sale at the Apollo website.

How lucky are we? Dionne, a very youthful, 84, is a Living Legend, and we haven’t seen her in New York a long time. I’ve had the chance to hear her at private events, and she is better than ever. Amazing! Her voice has actually gotten less husky and more silky in her later years. When she sings “Heartbreaker” it’s pure gold! And let’s not forget her parade of hits like “Walk on By,” “Always Something There to Remind Me,” and “I Say a Little Prayer.”

The show is said to be a combination of live performance of songs, and talking about her life and career.

Viva Dionne! See you there!

Will Smith Wants Us to Know He Loves “Pretty Girls” In Video, But So Far No One’s Buying the Project

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Will Smith wants us to know he loves “Pretty Girls” in a new, kind of ridiculous video.

The song has only 113K streams. And 528K plays on YouTube.

What is Will trying to tell us? He’s single and free to mingle despite being married still to Jada? That would be, um, a slap in face, no?

In March, Will released a new album, “Based on a True Story,” which flopped like a flounder.

Presented here, for your infotainment:

Where is Barron? Missing from Photo of “Surprise” Birthday, Father’s Day Celebration for Trump with Almost All Children

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Where is Barron Trump?

The 19 year old was missing from a picture posted by evil daughter in law Lara Trump from a birthday photo taken yesterday of Donald and his brood. It’s also Father’s Day, Barron.

In the picture: the Brothers Karamazov Don Jr and Eric, Lara, Don’s girlfriend Bettina Anderson (she’s the one with the teeth sharper than Mack the Knife), and even Tiffany and husband. No Ivanka and Jared, because they stay as far away as possible to avoid becoming Super Pariahs. They are already Regular Pariahs.

Barron was also missing from viewing the ‘perade’ yesterday even though his mother, Melania, or her double, was forced to sit through the spectacle in rain and high humidity. Eric was also there, although his eyes were abnormally vacant.

If Barron isn’t with Melania, where is he? Alone in Trump Tower? Locked up in Bedminster? With his fictitious girlfriend?

Now that Barron has finished the school year it’s worth asking why he was almost never seen on campus or in class. There wasn’t a peep about him on social media. It’s not possible. Did he even attend class in person?

Maybe Barron was home, turning his computer on and off.

Box Office: “How to Train Your Dragon” Breathes Fire With $83 Mil Opening Weekend, “Ballerina” Falls Flat

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The song goes, there’s nothing like a dragon.

Just ask HBO. They’ve been dragon the line for years with “Game of Thrones” and “House of the Dragon” (the latter is not a Chinese restaurant).

So Universal’s live action reboot of “How to Train Your Dragon” went through the roof this weekend. Total $83 million. Should hit $100 million by mid week. Sequels being written now.

“Dragon” doesn’t have any stars except Gerard Butler. Everyone else, no one’s heard of. Mason Thames? Hello?

But it’s those titled creatures. Played right, they bring in the eyes. And cash. God bless. You’d think there would be a union for them by now. (Why am I sounding like Cindy Adams right now?)

Not dancing is the John Wick movie “Ballerina.” The poor thing attempted a jeté and fell flat. Ouch! No more twirls despite Ana de Armas being pawned off as Tom Cruise’s girlfriend in tabloids. Totals fell 63% from last week. Maybe modern dance was the way to go.

Elsewhere, “The Materialists” made $12 million, third highest opening for A24. But now what? Audience score fell to 69% on Rotten Tomatoes. People are liking it less once they see it. Doesn’t bode well. This is one we’ll be keeping an eye on.

This coming week: “28 Years Later,” from Danny Boyle and Alex Garland. Big cast including the probable next James Bond, Aaron Taylor Johnson. This should be a big opening weekend if Sony Pictures plays it right. And for Sony, no Spider Man involved is a big deal!

Mariah Carey’s Latest Single “Type Dangerous” Produced Few Sales, Just 5,000 Downloads in First Week, Few Streams

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UPDATED MONDAY 6/16: “Type Dangerous” sold 5,000 downloads and around 20,000 streaming equivalent copies.

The danger was not apparent.

Mariah Carey’s new single, “Type Dangerous,” won’t be making enough money to buy songstress a New York cab ride.

After one week, “Type Dangerous” has sold the equivalent of 16,000 copies via streaming. That’s just 2.4 million streams.

After a few hours at number 1 on iTunes thanks to fan manipulation, “Dangerous” has dropped to number 77. By morning it should be gone from the top 100.

“Type Dangerous” has never appeared on the Apple Streaming top 100 songs either.

Right now, Luminate says she only sold 26 copies total. I think that’s 2,600 which would include downloads. Anyway, it’s nothing.

It just came and went.

“Type Dangerous” (I don’t know why it’s just not called “Dangerous”) is based almost entirely on rap song from eons ago by Eric B. & Rakim called “Eric B is President.” I hope Eric B and Rakim made some money. But there are 8 credited songwriters on the Mariah version.

If “Dangerous” is indicative of what Mariah’s planning for an album, she should stop now. It’s a waste of time and money. Mariah, call a decent producer and make an album of classics that show off your voice. Who does she think these records are for? Not teenagers. Her crowd is 50 plus. Do a Natalie Cole “Unforgettable.” That’s what the audience wants. Stop sampling!

PS Christmas is half a year away.

Final Reckoning for “Mission Impossible”: Latest Tom Cruise Chapter Will Finish Fifth of 8 Movies with $400 Mil Budget

It’s the Final Reckoning for “Mission Impossible.”

Despite a $400 mil budget — at least — and a dizzying amount of promotion, the last “MI” movie will not wind up the biggest hit.

“Final Reckoning” looks like it will come in at number 5 of the 8 movies.

Right now, box office is at $158 million and in decline. “FR” would have to make another $20 million to move up on the list to number 4.

The lowest box office for “MI” was the third installment, back in 2006. That one earned just $133 million.

Only three of the films broke the $200 million mark, with a fourth — “Rogue Nation” — coming close at $195 million. The big ones are “Fallout,” “Ghost Protocol,” and the 2nd chapter which had no subtitle.

So, a another “MI” under the present regime? Unlikely. I’ll be there will be five years before a reboot.

Meantime, there’s a cool documentary on Vimeo about “Mission Impossible” composer Lalo Schifrin. He’s still very much alive. Schifrin wrote the famous “MI” theme, a lot of others including the classic theme for “Mannix.” (We never did figure out how the “MI” theme got licensed to Etsy last year!)