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Charlie Sheen’s Porn Goddess Named Herself for Olsen Twins

Roger Friedman
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Charlie Sheen’s Porn Goddess Named Herself for Olsen Twins

Hey, “Anything Goes,” right? At the premiere of last night’s wonderful Broadway revival, I learned a lot — and not so much about Cole Porter. Playwright Bess Wohl told me that for the upcoming workshop of a musical about the porn industry, called “Pretty Filthy,” her research took her into Charlie Sheen territory. Wohl interviewed dozens of adult stars including Rachel Oberlin aka Bree Olsen, one of Charlie’s live in goddesses.

“She told us she named herself for the Olsen Twins,” Wohl informed me, meaning the troll like “Full House” former stars Mary Kate and Ashley.

“Pretty Filthy” is an original musical that, if it gets a good reception, may make its way to Broadway a year from now. It’s produced by LA’s Centre Theater Group (Michael Ritchie) with songs by Michael Friedman (no relation), who wrote the music and lyrics for the witty  “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson.”. Wohl her, er, better credentials than Olsen in some respects: she’s a graduate of both Harvard and Yale. And while she’s got Olsen’s observations on the biz jotted down, Wohl will not be at Radio City tonight for Sheen’s “Violent Torpedoes of Truth” tour. Indeed, just about everyone I asked to join me tonight’s seminal event demurred and declined. Ouch!

Charlie Sheen: $42 to Meet Him At NJ After-Party Friday Night

Roger Friedman
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Charlie Sheen: $42 to Meet Him At NJ After-Party Friday Night

So where will Charlie Sheen celebrate his debut at Radio City Music Hall? Nowhere in Manhattan, it turns out.

On Friday night, after Sheen does his 70 minute show, and provided there are no incidents: Sheen and crew are heading to suburban Carlstadt, New Jersey to the Dragonfly nightclub. According to manager James Donahue, the price will be $30 for entry, with $42 for speedier admission. Guests who pay the latter can then stand on line and meet Sheen.

Donahue tells me he’s not sure what the split is, but the club can hold 2000 people–1000 inside and 1000 in a heated tent. So no swingin’ New York hotspot for Sheen, who’s staying at the Trump International Hotel in Columbus Circle. (The Plaza and other hotels didn’t want him.) You can only imagine potential presidential candidate Donald Trump‘s take if Charlie trashes his rooms or the police are called to his gold souvenir of a building. Paparazzi will be on overdrive this weekend stalking Sheen all over town.

Don Hill: Requiem for a Rocker

Roger Friedman
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One thing about the unexpectedly poignant funeral service last night for rock impresario Don Hill: you didn’t have to convince the guests to wear black. Rockers wear it 24/7. This group rolled in sporting it in all flavors, mostly leather. Luckily the service was called for 6:30pm, since also these denizens of the night aren’t always bright eyed and bushy tailed. St. Patrick’s — a Little Italy landmark since the 1830s–was the setting, very grand and elegant.

Among the guests: Bebe Buell and Jim Wallerstein, Leee Childers, Mick Rock, Danny Fields, the Misshapes, the Toilet Boys, Michael H., Michael Schmidt, Andy Hilfiger, Psychotica, Mistress Formika, and ‘everyone from Squeezebox and Beacv Her. Got that? Three people spoke: Don’s sister, his lawyer and friend of 20 years David Chidekel, and friend of 40 years, Anthony Paolo.

Joshua South, the bass baritone soloist with the St. Patrick’s choir, gave such a chilling version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” that he brought this usually jaded group to tears. Anthony Paolo, who with his wife Pat knew Don from his early days at Kenny’s Castaways through the Cat Club and then on to his eponymous club, noted: “Don was not a businessman. He was a dreamer. He had no regrets. He lived his life big.”

So now what? The building that houses Don Hill’s is owned by the Ponte family. They also own F.illi Ponte, the famed restaurant nearby on DesBrosses St. in West Soho. The neighborhood has gone from seedy to luxury condo’s in the last two decades, with only the Ear Inn bar still remaining from the good old days. I’m told there’s a lot of debt. Also, a lot of animosity to Don’s recent partner, Nur Khan, who’s hung inappropriate art and annoyed a lot of regulars. Can Don Hill’s survive without Don Hill? Unlikely. With CBGB’s and Hilly Kristal gone (thanks to Muzzy Rosenblatt), the Bottom Line killed by NYU’s bottom line, and so on–few rock clubs are left. Impresarios are thing of the past. Thanks Don, for having a vision!

Alec Baldwin, Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira All Want to Leave NBC

Roger Friedman
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Alec Baldwin, Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira All Want to Leave NBC

What the heck is going on over there at NBC? Is it just a coincidence, or do three major on air players know something we don’t? In the space of three days, Alec Baldwin told New York Magazine that “30 Rock” is “over” and that he’s leaving at the end of his contract; Meredith Vieira is reportedly exiting the “Today” show in the fall, when her contract is up; and now Matt Lauer is saying he’s gone from “Today” at the end of 2012.

All three work in New York, close to NBC’s new owner, Comcast, and its new chief, Steve Burke. Has each heard something from NBC’s new owner? Is it money related? Are these contract negotiations? NBC is already dealing with departing Steve Carell from “The Office.” The network doesn’t have a lot of key players besides these guys, Lorne Michaels, Jimmy Fallon, Brian Williams, and maybe the stars of “Law & Order: SVU.”

So what gives? Baldwin says he’s leaving “30 Rock,” but he is probably replaceable if done right. Lauer and Vieira are a different matter. While “30 Rock” is not a ratings hit, the “Today” show is the cornerstone of the network. To replace two co-hosts in a year’s time would be perilous at best. PS Just a thought–but is Lauer invoking a contract clause now so he can join Katie Couric in a “Regis and Kelly” kind of show? Hmmm….

“Arthur” Remake: Box Office Disaster Looms

Roger Friedman
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“Arthur” Remake: Box Office Disaster Looms

The remake of “Arthur,” a genial film from the 1980s that had charm brimming over, is headed for disaster. I haven’t been able to see it yet (my fault), but of the 14 reviews posted to RottenTomatoes.com so far, only one has been positive. The other 13 are so bad that “Arthur” is getting a 7% so far. The consensus is that director Jason Winer didn’t know what he was doing, and captured none of the spirit of the original. It sounds like the recent remake of “The Heartbreak Kid.” Whoops!

“Arthur” opens on Friday. The original, directed by the late Steve Gordon some 30 years ago, was a winner. Dudley Moore, Liza Minnelli, John Gielgud, and Jill Eikenberry were the principal cast–a rich kid, the girl he loved, the girl he was supposed to marry, and his butler. They’re now played by Russell Brand, Greta Gerwig, Helen Mirren, and Jennifer Garner. On paper it sounds grand. But the director, Jason Winer, comes from very clunky TV like “Modern Family” (which to me seems like “Arrested Development” lite) .

This is just a guess, but Dudley Moore was winsome and subtle. He was also small in size, which made him seem vulnerable. Russell Brand, whom I like a lot, is a big guy who doesn’t seem like he need to be taken care of. He is also quite obvious and a little aggressive. A better choice would have been James McEvoy or even Ewan MacGregor. Anyway, what’s done is done. At least we can hope Helen Mirren got a good payday out of it.

Comedy remakes–especially of material that is trickier than it appears–are tough. That “Heartbreak Kid” with Ben Stiller was so bad the people who made it should have arrested. Classics are often a part of their time–and in these cases, even more so. What these two –“HK” and “Arthur” — had in common were they were comedies of manners, and spoofed class warfare. No one seems to know how to do that anymore. I think writers and directors are afraid to suggest that class differences exist anymore. They’re all too politically correct.

“Hangover 2” Trailer Controversy: Brilliant Marketing (Yes) or Real Problem (Ha Ha)?

Roger Friedman
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“Hangover 2” Trailer Controversy: Brilliant Marketing (Yes) or Real Problem (Ha Ha)?

Oh, gee. Suddenly, six days after Warner Bros. uploaded a new trailer for “The Hangover 2,” they make a big announcement that the trailer must be pulled from theaters! It’s too controversial. My hat is off to whoever came up with this plan. Thanks to the so called “scandal,” the trailer has been viewed millions of times on YouTube, reposted everywhere, and turned into an event.

Here it is in case you haven’t seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohF5ZO_zOYU I’m reposting it now, advertising for free! Hello, Warner Bros. (I loved the extra bit about telling distributors to “destroy every copy.” Suckers!)

If there’s something in that trailer that couldn’t have been played in a theater before “The Source Code” or any other film, you tell me. In fact, the trailer looks like a trailer for the original “Hangover” and a half dozen other juvenile, crude, teenage movies. But now it’s cause celebre. Good work, Warner Bros. Everyone fell for it. Now the audience is scouring the internet looking for film trailer, and waiting for a more palatable one, which will launch on April 15th. Get the Oscar ready for marketing and advertising.

In the current, “offensive” trailer, the boys travel to “Thigh-land” — as it is called– for a bachelor party. There’s a monkey involved, and a couple of sexual double entendres. There’s nothing here worse than Ben Stiller with white stuff on his ear from “There’s Something About Mary.” But a fake controversy? Maybe Harvey Weinstein is now head of Warner Bros. marketing. It reeks of his genius at making people curious about a film.

Justin vs. Britney? Grammy Awards Drop 31 Categories, Go UniSex

Roger Friedman
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Justin vs. Britney? Grammy Awards Drop 31 Categories, Go UniSex

The Grammy Awards are dropping 31 categories from their rosters, going from 109 to 78 different awards. To do this they’re going unisex– no more Best Male or Female anything in pop, rock, R&B, country, etc. For solo performances, men and women will be pitted against each other. Also dropped are the confusing group awards. Now instead of pop or rock performance duo or group etc it’s just Best Rock Performance by a Group, or Pop Performance by a Group and it can be vocal or instrumental, with two, three, eight performers. We’ll see how this all works. It does mean that Bruce Springsteen and Sheryl Crow will wind up vying for the same singing awards. same for Justin Bieber and Britney Spears. It also means that the afternoon cattle call before the televised awards on Grammy day will be about an hour shorter. Gone are Best Hawaiian, Zydeco, and Native American recordings–they’re now all in one award, Best Regional Music. I don’t know what happened to Best Polka Album. Now if only whoever pares down Album of the Year would include those by veteran artists, we’d be ok. Paul Simon’s “So Beautiful or So What” is so far above anything else this year, it would be a shame if it gets relegated to some side category. This past year that’s what happened to Eminem, whose “Recovery” was far more important than Lady Antebellum’s soft sounds– and lost anyway.

Madonna’s Kabbalah Charity Admits to Cayman Island Accounts

Roger Friedman
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Madonna’s Kabbalah Charity Admits to Cayman Island Accounts

Spirituality for Kids, Madonna’s Kabbalah charity, now known as Success for Kids, is a different sort of religion. Remember last time we checked their Form 990 federal tax filing, they said they were putting in special word for “whistleblowers.” Then they kicked out Phillippe van den Bossche, who ran that group and their Raising Malawi, and threw him under the bus. Now in their 2009 filing, which only became public in December 2010, there’s a hilarious notation. It’s in Part V (Five), number 4a. The question: “At any time during the calendar year,did the organization have an interest in, or a signature or other authority over, a financial account in a foreign country?” The ‘no’ box is checked off, but on a line that reads “If yes, enter the name of the country”– the words: “Cayman Islands” are written in.

I mean, really, come on. I’ve been reporting on various charities and foundations for more than a dozen years, and I’ve never seen those words before on a Form 990. Of course the Cayman Islands are the place where money is generally stashed outside the purview of the IRS and US government.

In 2009, Madonna gave SFK/Kabbalah Centre/Raising Malawi $2.5 million.

Meanwhile: Madonna’s long time publicist issued a statement yesterday that Madonna is not under investigation by the FBI or IRS, and neither is Success for Kids or Raising Malawi. But let’s read that statement. Not mentioned is a grand jury. I told you that two people have told me they’ve been subpoenaed by a grand jury in Manhattan regarding Raising Malawi and its finances. I will stick with that story. The grand jury is very interested in SFK, now called Success for Kids, and formerly known as Spirituality for Kids. Grand juries meet in secret, and they can take a long time to interview everyone involved. All these Kabbalah Centre related groups have financial issues. Someone is going to have answer the questions about where all the money raised for Raising Malawi’s unbuilt school went–it didn’t just evaporate. And Raising Malawi is a registered charity in the United States of America, not Malawi.

Charlie Sheen Finds Success Ridiculing Ex Wives, Detroit

Roger Friedman
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Charlie Sheen Finds Success Ridiculing Ex Wives, Detroit

Charlie Sheen finally figured out how to get an audience on his side. Find scapegoats. In Cleveland on Tuesday night he led a crowd in chanting, alternately, “F–k Detroit” and “F–k that bitch” regarding his ex wife Denise Richards, mother of his young daughters.

In Chicago, two nights ago, Charlie called ex wife Brooke Mueller a “kidnapper bitch.” Otherwise, he’s changed his tune, to wanting his job back on “Two and a Half Men.” His “Violent Torpedoes of Truth” tour has no entertainment value besides all that.

Next stop: Columbus, Ohio. And then Radio City Music Hall in New York. There are still thousands of seats available on StubHub despite his press officer putting out notes that the prices have gone up. Not much. You can still see Sheen in New York for under thirty bucks. Meantime, Sheen is trying to trademark 22 different phrases.

PS Yesterday Sheen’s actor-director brother Emilio Estevez tweeted this message: “Film is an illusion, fame is ephemeral – faith and family are what matter.”

Well put, Emilio.

Charlie Sheen Radio City Shows: Tickets Start at $24

Roger Friedman
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Charlie Sheen Radio City Shows: Tickets Start at $24

I told you this more than a week ago, before anyone: there are thousands of tickets going begging for Charlie Sheen’s show around the country. This was before he bombed in Detroit and did little to nothing in Chicago.

I do feel stupid: I bought a pair of regularly priced tickets for Radio City Music Hall. If I’d waited, I could have picked them up starting at $24 on StubHub.com. That reselling service currently has 1200 tickets for Friday night and 1600 for Sunday night at Radio City. They also have over 1500 for Boston, and 280 or so for Atlantic City.

The lowest prices range from $24-$30 if you’re not picky about being upfront for this debacle. The prices will continue to drop too because it’s not like the “show” is going to get better. Sheen is on stage for 70 to 90 minutes. He drops F bombs, curses out an ex wife, rants against the creators of “Two and a Half Men,” and then, incongruously, asks for his job back.

In New York, the truly interesting part will be where he goes after the show, which nightclub or hotel, and how much trouble is caused. You know the damages will be a lot more than $25!

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