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Amy Schumer is a breath of fresh air, most of the time.
She is today, gently poking fun of the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce rat-f**k of a wedding at Madison Square Garden.
The 1,000 guests included 1,000 celebrities, many of whom have nothing to do with the couple. They were just famous, and in town. You could sort of see 300 guests, with friends, family and a couple of celebrities. But the Garden audience was more miscellaneous than an Elton John concert.
Schumer, always hilarious, posted two photos. One, showing her and actor Michael Cera getting married in the TV series “Life is Beth,” had the caption: “Ok, so why weren’t we allowed in?”
The second, of Amy dressed kind of in gardening garb with a fanny pack, reads, with intentional misspellings and typos: “Rehersal dinner was sick. Who know was she has planned for us tonight.”
It’s just good to see someone famous calling out this fatuous cry for attention. I love a good cynic! Bravo, Amy!
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are married. Our long national nightmare is over.
They got hitched in front of 1,000 random celebrities at Madison Square Garden. Some they knew, others were there just for great pictures.
There was one groomsmen and one bride’s brother to stand up for the couple. The couple’s respective brothers filled those roles.
A little strange: Taylor and Travis were married by Adam Sandler, who officiated. Sandler is Jewish, the couple is not. No word on whether they are now bound by Jewish law, but it was definitely a statement by the couple. Good for them.
The wedding ceremony looks are by Jonathan Anderson of Dior, who is the most PR oriented clothing designer of this generation.
My guess is that People magazine has the exclusive on photos and the main story. It’s been a long time since People had one of these, and it would mean owner Barry Diller put up some money. Phones were taken from guests, and no photos were allowed. It seems clear People has inside info. They probably had a couple of reporters in the room at MSG.
If Diller paid even a million bucks, it was smart. Meantime, Taylor and Travis just donated $26 million to various charities.
Their party and concert is proceeding right now at MSG. We’ll wait to see People has exclusive inside info.
Will these two crazy kids make it? Cynics — like me– are taking wagers. But for this weekend, we hope it lasts forever!
Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner — fresh from gifting billions — were welcome guests at the White Party in the Hamptons on July 1st.
Of course, they are White. The Whitest.
A couple who should be pariahs mingled with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Martha Stewart, and Alicia Keys — who performed for the crowd of otherwise low rent guests. I hope she was paid very well.
How anyone in their right mind could be at a buffet with the Kushners is beyond me. A tub of bright red gazpacho should have been dumped on these complicit thieves. Maybe guests were hoping for an invite to the couple’s new island off Albania, which will serve as a private military bunker and meeting place for super rich dictators.
This video, provided by host Michael Rubin, is reason enough to become a communist.
It’s July 4th weekend, so Manhattan South precinct chief Timothy Beaudette isn’t bhtusy, really.
He’s been filmed by the NYPD outside Madison Square Garden, calling out Taylor Swift lyrics on a megaphone.
Beaudette’s obviously part of the 130 cops Swift is paying to stand security for her wedding tonight.
Luckily, Manhattan South has no crime, so the cops have time to join the circus. Wouldn’t it be funny if the Russian couple from the Empire State Building popped up on top of the Garden tonight?
Maybe Beaudette and friends get some swag from the event, as well, like a free CD.
It’s really the summer of older artists laying claim to their legacies.
Paul McCartney did it with “The Boys of Dungeon Lane.” Ringo Starr accomplished it with his recent “Long Long Road.” (In August, we’ll get Carly Simon’s “Comes in Waves.”) Next Friday, it’s the Rolling Stones with “Foreign Tongues.”
Tonight, it’s Madonna’s turn. She’s considerably younger — 15 years — than those legends, but she’s been out of it music wise for 20 years, since her “Confessions on a Dance Floor.”
It didn’t seem like Madonna was going to resuscitate her recording career, she was that far gone. But one thing you can say about Madonna: she’s a hard worker. She won’t give up.
She’s proven it with “Confessions II,” a sequel dance record to the first, with the same producer arranger writer Stuart Price. After the first “Confessions,” the British Price went off to do a lot of interesting albums, many successes especially in dance music. I haven’t heard all of it, but I dare say this is a crowning moment for him.
“Confessions II” is billed as a dance record, and that’s the way it starts, tipping its hand with a series of nonstop propulsive tracks. One of them features Sabina Carpenter (“Bring Your Love”) and the opening song, “I Feel Free,” is riff on Donna Summers “I Feel Love.”
The way Madonna and Price have sequenced the album is interesting because it slowly reveals itself as a collection of actual songs upon which Price has hung his unique ornamentation. In that first batch of five or six is “Danceteria,” Madonna’s four minute memoir of the early 80s, which Price ties back to “Vogue” and other early hits. It’s as if all those big Madonna hits from her halycon days were thrown into a blender, and mixed at high speed. You can tell it will be very popular with deejays.
But then things settle down and get a little more specific. “Bizarre” is a song about Madonna’s four year marriage to Sean Penn. “Fragile” is a reverie about her late brother, Christopher, who was kind of a Madonna celebrity subplot through the 80s and early 90s. “Betrayal,” my favorite song on the album, combines the legendary composer Erik Satie’s “Gnoissienne” with a mournful horn part played with stunning realness by Marco Parisi. The whole piece is like “buttah,” falling together effortlessly– but I suspect its architecture was fairly substantial. It feels more human than almost anything Madonna has done in decades.
Stuart Price must have been thinking about all this for twenty years. It’s as if he’s done a mind meld with Madonna, taking her best parts and cutting away the most self-idolizing. Where in the last two decades Madonna has seemed clueless about who she is or was, Price manages to remind her. She’s the main instrument in a symphony about herself, and he’s the conductor.
You might think, how will this all end, after 13 sort of bracing, intentional pieces– really no fluff? But it must, and does with another bit of memoir in “LES Girl,” the story of Madonna’s early days arriving on the Lower East Side, discovering New York and testing her super powers. It’s a gentle story, full of keen observation. It could be the opening episode of her Netflix mini-series. Here she and Price are joined by Andrew Watt, the producer of the McCartney and Stones albums. “LES Girl” is the perfect mic drop to an hour of meditative disco.
A lot of the album, by the way, features spoken word intros and interspersed observations. Price picked that up from “Vogue” and a few other Madonna songs, to set a tone of melancholy over his ferocious arrangements. Madonna is a guide through her wild life on this album, and you’re more than happy to follow her.
Just wait– a Grammy for Dance Album is coming, and maybe single, too. Price won the Grammy for producing “Confessions I” and not only will he get that again, but Madonna will have her own statues.
People will be surprised that I’m saying all this considering Madonna’s outsized personality, her obsession with Kabbalah and other strange parts of her 45 year career that were fun to write about. But you can’t ignore an artistic moment, one that ties together the essence of why she’s endured.
Michael Weatherly and Cote de Pablo probably thought their “NCIS” spin off would be a hit.
But “Tony and Ziva,” airing on Paramount Plus, was canceled after one season.
So what to do? Well, Weatherly is returning to the home ship of “NCIS” as Tony. Cote de Pablo? So far, Ziva — and their TV child — are absent.
What happened?
It’s possible CBS owed Weatherly a season of his show. In that case it was either pay or play.
Or maybe the network wanted to goose the ratings for “NCIS” for its 24th season. But it doesn’t seem like it since “NCIS” finished the season slightly higher than last, and 10% lower in the key demo. It averages around 5.3 million viewers a week, which isn’t bad for a show that debuted the year Teddy Roosevelt was elected.
Either way, Tony DiNozzo is back fighting crime.
It may be a little weird for Weatherly. Except for Sean Maguire, all the original cast he worked with are gone including Mark Harmon. He’ll have all new people with whom to establish rapports.
But it’s better than being out of work.
After”NCIS,” Weatherly got his own show, “Bull.” But then he had HR problems with actress Eliza Dushku. CBS wound up paying her $9.5 million in a settlement that covered Weatherly’s alleged sexual malfeasance. According to documents from the official mediation, Weatherly was recorded on video making comments about spanking Dushku over his knee, soliciting a threesome, alluding to sexual assault in his “rape van,” and other harassing statements.
Well, despite that Weatherly has been fully restored to his career. Dushku hasn’t worked since then.
Before he was disgraced in sex scandals, Kevin Spacey was a movie star.
He actually has two Oscars, a Tony, and other awards.
But now that no one in Hollywood will hire him, Spacey has been reduced to Trump-like direct mail theatrics.
He’s selling what’s described as a class ring in two versions — regular and collectible. The former is $150, the latter $250.
The ring is emblazoned with the letters “FU.” Classy class ring!
There’s no mention of the materials involved, but maybe he melted down his awards. I doubt it, though. My high school class ring — from 100 years ago — looks better.
Spacey’s latest movie, “1780,” went straight to video without reviews. Also, his late father was a Neo-Nazi.
Michael Rubin, who owns the sports garmento company Fanatics, threw his annual “white” party yesterday in the Hamptons.
Today he posted a picture of himself and guests including Tom Brady, the Knicks’ Karl Anthony Towns, and Jordyn Woods receiving actual IV hydration. He joked in the comments that it was “rehab.”
Brady underscores his legacy as one of the least good decision makers of all time. Check out the bandage on his arm where the needle went in.
Rubin is a happy man. He has millions of dollars and all the sports paraphernalia anyone could want. He doesn’t realize that his gazillion dollar home looks like an airline terminal or actual hospital. (See the photo below – doesn’t that look like a conference room?)
It’s kind of hilarious. Rubin shares a predilection for artist George Condo with the late convicted Hollywood money manager Dana Giacchetto. In the end, Giacchetto had to sell all his Condos after he was indicted for bilking clients of $14 million back in 2000. Something about Condo attracts the nouveau riche. Rubin commissioned Condo to make his invitations. So you could say Condo was Cooperative.
The White Party, as he calls it, also recalls the heyday of Sean Diddy Combs, who threw the exact same gatherings 20 years ago with many of the same guests (Kardashians, rappers, and so on — you won’t find the literati of the old Hamptons there).
The only difference was the baby lotion.
Of course Martha Stewart and her bestie Snoop Dogg attended the party. From what I’ve heard, Martha may have been near unneeded medical equipment at the conclusion of the Knicks ticker tape parade. She did take a picture with an ambulance. I heard she may have used it as quick transportation out of the melee. Smart!
We are drawing closer to the most important wedding since Kim Kardashian married…everyone.
Tomorrow is the date for Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s $20 million extravaganza at Madison Square Garden. The tacky event’s theme is “Look at me,” with guests totaling 1,000 at the world’s most famous venue in the center of the biggest city in America.
Also, it will be one hundred and twenty five degrees.
But wait — I can tell you that speculation about Stevie Nicks singing something at the wedding is confirmed.
Also, Este Haim, of the sister group HAIM, is going to perform. Haim and Nicks are pals, and may sing together, I am told.
Este could bring up her sisters. Taylor and Este are beste friends, you know. Taylor and Stevie attended Este’s wedding back on New Year’s Eve.
Este, you know, is also an actress, appearing in Paul Thomas Anderson’s “Licorice Pizza” and briefly in “One Battle After Another.”
I don’t really understand the HAIM career. Their biggest hit, “The Wire,” was from 2013. They don’t really have a breakout hit. It’s surprising they don’t. Maybe they should record one of Taylor’s songs.
Anyway, sounds like fun. And good for Stevie: you must have younger friends as you age. These girls are her spiritual children!
PS Send the video to me at showbiz411@gmail.com. All confidential.
Donald Trump has posted an AI video in which he’s a “Doctor” — ha ha — treating patients for not liking him.
The “patients” are his enemies — like Rosie O’Donnell, Robert De Niro, Julia Roberts, John Leguizamo, etc.
The AI is very bad. The celebrities he thinks he’s mocking couldn’t be more inauthentic looking.
But this is how the president of the United States is celebrating our nation’s 250th birthday.The forefathers are rolling in their graves. They could never have envisioned this is how things would be back when they fought to create this country.
On the upside, at least he’s not sleeping in the video.
