No one wants to stand up for Julie Taymor. “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” has played 100 previews, and mostly received poor reviews for its book– or lack of one. But if Taymor exits the show–as has been suggested today–it would be a terrible mistake. “Spider Man” is her show. Anyone who comes in will have to face that fact. The flying, the costumes. the sets, the 3D comic book life of the show-all belong to her. The tragedy in this is that Taymor, like most creative geniuses, may have gotten lost along the way. She needs a collaborator–an editor, really– to shorten the first act, create a cliffhanger, and rearrange TV Carpio’s wonderful Arachne so she joins the plot organically and isn’t a speed bump in Act One. Can “Spider Man” be saved? Yes, easily. But in its transformation I wouldn’t want to lose the flying, the breezy fun of Green Goblin, or the Sinister Six beauty pageant. The best of the latter is the scientist who turns himself into a giant lizard. The great fun of “Spider Man” is still in Taymor’s vision. Lose that now and the show’s main purpose will be gone too. One more thing: I am a big U2 fan and have great respect for Bono and The Edge. But let’s not forget, when “Spider Man” debuted in November, they were on tour. It’s almost not fair to come in at this late date and blame Taymor for the show’s inefficiencies.
Charlie Sheen: “Screw Les Moonves”
“Les- than-Goonves, Screw Les, or better yet, Screw more.” is the way Charlie Sheen began his latest video diatribe on Ustream tonight. He then attacked all the executives involved in “Two and a Half Men.” But that’s what he said about the head of CBS. He’s lucky that all they did was fire him.
“Where are you hiding you silly clown? I see you you little worm,” he said to Chuck Lorre. If Sheen was trying to ingratiate himself to his bosses, this was not the way to do it. He might as well have inflated a slide on a parked airplane and jumped out. Oh, yeah: that’s been done. He was vicious and totally inappropriate to Lorre, baiting the recovering alcoholic to take a drink. It was mean, not clever, and low, like a grade school taunt. It was maybe the most unbecoming moment of Sheen’s spiral down into madness.
Otherwise, this was typical Sheen. He called his firing “unconscionable.” Tonight it did seem like Sheen was more prepared, reading from either cue cards or some kind of notes or Prompter. “F–k Borre” is what he called Lorre. The crazy thing is this wasn’t over an international crisis. It’s over a TV show. But Sheen doesn’t see the difference between any realities. He’s delusional. But in the end, the counter on his UStream page read that only 58,000 viewers tuned in at the height of Sheen’s shpiel. Is that it? Is Charlie done?
The funniest thing tonight was the idea that he’s been so wronged. Charlie, it’s just a TV show. It’s a sitcom. It’s funny, but it’s not “MASH” or “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” or “Seinfeld” or even “The Office.” So you were fired. It was not unconscionable. Move on already.
“You are no match for this warlock,” Sheen concluded.
Charlie Sheen Surfaces, Plans 10PM EST Broadcast; Also: His Phone Number Gets Out
Now it’s like getting ready to watch a fresh train wreck. Charlie Sheen will return to UStream.tv tonight at 10PM eastern for yet another broadcast. After last night’s debacle, the only place to go is up. He just sent out a Tweet, his first in 24 hours, that reads: “The Warlock is hungry. Hungry for corporate flesh.” His attorney, Marty Singer, must be cringing. All of this, every word of it, will come back to haunt Charlie in court. I spoke to the people at UStream and they’re anticipating a massive audience since this is the last scheduled episode of “Sheen’s Korner.” And then what? One can only imagine. Some topics tonight: how Charlie would feel if his good friend Rob Lowe took over his spot on “Two and a Half Men.” And how he feels about taking down an entire hit TV series. Of course, there’s always the subject of his health. But we seem to be beyond that now.
PS Seems that Charlie’s phone number is now all over the web. Someone pulled it off one of his videos.
Bono Tells Julie Taymor He’ll Do Spider Man “With Or Without You”
Many months after “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” started previews in New York, its composer–Bono of the group U2–is here. Sources tell me that even though he’s not in the Foxwoods Theater every day, Bono has taken a firm grip of the show. He’s essentially telling director Julie Taymor that he’ll do the show–to paraphrase a U2 hit–“with or without you.”
“They’re writing lots of new songs,” a source tells me, and as I reported on Sunday. “They’re not going to have show open that they’re not proud of.” As such, “Spider Man” will not be opening on March 15th, although there will be a celebration party anyway–something to give the cast and crew a boost, if nothing else. “They’re not concerned about the Tony Awards,” said the source, just as I reported on Sunday also. “Missing that date won’t matter.”
The source says “everyone has known about this for at least two weeks.”
Meantime, even though OSHA gave fines to “Spider Man” last week, the Department of Labor continues to be a backstage presence to monitor the aerial and special effects, Luckily, that part of “Spider Man”‘s history seems to be over. Everyone has straightened up and is flying right.
Demi Moore, Glenn Close Daughters Joining Off Broadway Hit
What year is it? 2011? I remember when Glenn Close‘s daughter Annie was a baby. Now she’s following in her mom’s hallowed footsteps and joining the cast of Nora Ephron’s “Love, Loss, and What I Wore”– a hit off Broadway show that just keeps going, Producer Daryl Roth has been very smart about this show, rotating in and out name actresses from eclectic backgrounds–she’s had the great soap actress Kim Zimmer in there recently. And this is no rumor, just Rumer: When Annie Starke (that’s Glenn’s kid) comes in, she’ll be joined by another famous child, Rumer Willis, daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Rumer is a nice kid who’s gotten a bad tabloid rap hanging out in LA. Maybe she’ll get serious once she’s in New York. Also in that cast which starts March 23rd, is Anne Meara, now known as Ben Stiller’s mom. Donna McKechnie, the Tony Award winning star of “A Chorus Line,” rounds out that group. More names to come…
Charlie Sheen: Best Friend/Advisor Made Money Off of Gandhi
Charlie Sheen’s Tweetmaster and best friend Bob Maron–the guy who’s omnipresent throughout Sheen’s meltdown–once made nearly a million bucks off of India’s most revered leader, Mahatma Gandhi. Two years ago this very week Maron, as head of Antiquorum Auctioneers, sold Gandhi’s eyeglasses, drinking cup, and other personal possessions in a controversial auction that set off an international furor. According to the New York Times in March 2009, Maron took half the selling price–$900,000–plus a commission that came to just over $1 million.
The owner of the items, James Otis, a Los Angeles filmmaker and collector, decided at the last minute not to sell the Gandhi collectibles. But Maron–who deals in expensive watches like rare Rolexes- refused to stop the auction. It went through, and the owner of India’s biggest beer company bought them. In the end, Vijay Mallya said he would start a foundation with Otis that would tour the possessions around India. It’s unclear whether that’s ever happened.
Maron, meanwhile, appears to be the motor behind Sheen’s new deals with Twitter, etc. On Friday, which is eons ago in Sheen’s lightning fast world, Maron told a radio interviewer that he thought Sheen was ok and that everything would work out. That was before Sheen was fired from “Two and A Half Men,” and had two video meltdowns on the internet.
PS Strange coincidence? Otis has another Sheen connection: he told reporters in 2009 that he was making a documentary with Charlie’s dad, Martin Sheen.
Seinfeld’s “Marriage Ref” Disappears from NBC Schedule
Maybe like me you thought “The Marriage Ref” was supposed to air on Sunday night, March 6th. Certainly there are press releases about it all over the web, and one of the local New York papers mentioned it was airing that night. But poof! all gone. No “Ref.” Instead we got the inane “America’s Next Restaurant.” Jerry Seinfeld cannot be happy. “The Marriage Ref” not only didn’t air, but on the NBC website it barely exists, if at all. It’s not included in the list of current shows. I found “April 3, 2011” listed as one possible launch date, but it’s unclear where that came from. As late as the end of February, “The Marriage Ref” was still looking for real life couples to come on the show and expose their personal lives. I know a lot of people disliked this show, but maybe they didn’t get it–it wasn’t about the couples. It was about the celebrity panelists coming on and riffing about their own lives. I got more out of Madonna’s appearance than in any interview she ever did. I hope “The Marriage Ref” isn’t dead, but I’d be concerned at this point. New NBC chief Steve Burke doesn’t have the allegiance to Seinfeld that past network players did–it will be interesting to see if this causes a permanent rift.
Zach Braff Goes Off Broadway Again; John Slattery Waits for “Mad Men,” Too
“Scrubs” star Zach Braff is heading back to off Broadway. The “Garden State” director-writer appeared last summer at the Second Stage company in “Trust” and got great reviews. Now he’s written a play that Second Stage will produce this coming August. No cast announcements yet. But Braff is connected to lots of good actors in New York, where he’s resumed residence after success in Hollywood. Actually, as he said the other day, “I’m back and forth.” I’m sure this play, like “Trust,” will have all the summering Hamptonians making the trip into the city…
…Meantime John Slattery, who co-stars in “The Adjustment Bureau,” opening in movie theatres next week, is also waiting for the “Mad Men” situation to be resolved. Slattery– aka Roger Sterling–Â was at last night’s premiere of “Good People” on Broadway with wife actress Talia Balsam, whose famous mother, Joyce van Patten, will soon open at Studio 54 in “The People in the Picture,” a musical. Slattery has absolutely no inside info; no one does. Balsam had a funny observation though (she plays Roger Sterling’s ex wife on “Mad Men”): “As a fan, I used to get really angry when it took so long for The Sopranos to come back–like a year and a half. Now we know how it really feels!”
Spider Man, Charlie Sheen Top Overnight Headlines
“Spider Man: Turn off the Dark”– as I reported on Sunday morning, there’s turmoil within the embattled Broadway show. A source says the show is going to be rewritten from top to bottom, that it won’t make the Tony Awards deadline of April 28th. and instead open in June. The New York Times is reporting that Julie Taymor might be replaced, which I hope is not true: it’s her show. Hopefully, a compromise can be worked out to bring in collaborators…
…And then Charlie Sheen: who made an 11 minute appearance on UStream.tv tonight, looking and sounding worse than ever. Before the plug was pulled he ranted, raved, and sweated. Meantime, the Hollywood Reporter is saying that “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre has hired Howard Weitzman as his attorney. Warner Bros. lawyered up with John Spiegel. Sheen has Marty Singer, who’s famous for more bark than bite. But what’s clearer than ever is that Sheen has to be sacked by someone in his family or something truly tragic is going to happen. During the 11 minute show he sank out of camera sight and drank some liquid he called “tiger’s blood.” Trust me, it wasn’t Snapple.
Charlie Sheen 11 Minute Internet Broadcast: Drinking, Ranting, Sweating
Looking gaunt and sounding crazier than ever, Charlie Sheen is back on the internet. He went live on UStream at 10:07pm EST. “Are you recording this?” asked his first caller, who I think is Bob Maron, one of his sycophants. Sheen said he’s going to reach out to Jeff Bezos, head of Amazon.com. He wants him to publish his memoir, “Apocalypse Me: The Jaws of Life.” He wants the Book on Kindle to save trees. Sheen rants that people should “marry a tree.” “Marriage didn’t work for me, so marry a tree.” He’s upset about people calling in and interrupting him. And helicopters buzzing over head. “Notice how hell is in the word helicopter?” Basically, it’s the sad spiral down to the bottom of a man no one cares enough about to stop him from completely imploding. As I write this, the broadcast has now stopped. So maybe someone in that house did care enough to pull the plug.
