Where is Charlie Sheen now? The news of his being fired from “Two and a Half Men” broke around 4pm EST. Since then, he hasn’t made a noise.Not even a Tweet. His last tweet was around the same time, 4pm, when he said he needed an intern. Earlier he’d responded to another tweet, saying “I invented Tulsa, OK…in my sleep.” Now, when all the word is waiting, there is silence. No silence from Warner Bros.’s lawyers, however. They hired powerhouse firm Munger, Tulles and Olsen. Attorney John W. Spiegel wrote Sheen’s lawyer, Marty Singer, a seven page missive that details all of Sheen’s antics for the last two years, recounts many specific quotes that Sheen himself probably doesn’t remember–gratuitous name calling rants that can’t be taken back, about CBS, Les Moonves, Chuck Lorre, everyone. The letter also observes that Warner TV chief Bruce Rosenblum and Les Moonves visited Sheen at home in February, and have bent over backwards to accommodate him even though 10 episodes of the show had been lost. Let’s face it: if anyone in a real job had done what Charlie Sheen had to their employer, they’d have been fired summarily long ago.
Charlie Sheen Fired by CBS: “They continue to be in breach, like so many whales”
Our long national nightmare is over. Charlie Sheen has been fired from “Two and a Half Men.”Here’s what Charlie supposedly said upon getting the news: “This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
Sheen’s weekend announcements that he and the show and creator Chuck Lorre were all going to get back together and smoke something– a peace pipe?– were just hallucinations. The show does not want him back. Assertions from “experts” that the show just made too much money to actually let Sheen stay were wrong. It didn’t seem possible that CBS or Warner Bros. (Les Moonves runs the former and used to run the latter) would bring Sheen back.
Frankly, from our polls on this site, and other opinions voiced elsewhere, CBS could easily replace Sheen and keep “Two and A Half Men” going–whether with John Stamos or half a dozen other actors who could be introduced as Jon Cryer’s cousin or an absent brother. They did it with Darren on “Bewitched”; it can be done. Now we wait for Sheen’s response–which should come quickly and loudly. So far his last Tweet was at 4pm EST; he’s looking for an intern.
Broadway Spider Man: Show May Avoid Tony Awards, Open in June
That March 15th opening for “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark”? It’s now called a “Hope-ening.” It will not be the official opening night, according to sources.
One source says every time the show doesn’t open they call it a “Faux-pening.”
Anyway, what I’m told is that “Spider Man” will simply not deal with the Tony Awards and their April 28th deadline. Instead, work is being done to rewrite the show as much as possible within its mechanical parameters.
“Bono and Edge are writing new songs,” says my source. They do, contrary to rumors, have some good songs already in “Rise Above,” “Say Now,” “Boy Falls From the Sky” and a couple of others. But between the songs and the story fixes, the show will not open officially until June–right around Tony time. This would be the fourth or fifth postponement, depending on who’s counting.
I am told that the feeling is that week to week the show is selling well enough ($1.55 mil last week.) that opening now, getting panned again, and then getting snubbed by the Tonys–which is likely–is worse than just staying the course and continuing to make improvements. I wrote on Saturday that the show has improved tremendously. Audiences enjoy it, and the aerial stuff is spectacular. (Now that it’s all working, it looks like fun.)Â Some changes have been made for the better, but my source says “many, many more” are coming.
PS Without “Spider Man,” the bumper crop of original musicals competing for the Tony would include “Catch Me If You Can,” “Baby It’s You,” “The People in the Picture,” “The Book of Mormon” and “Sister Act”–all opening between now and April 28th.
Julia Roberts A No Show for Ex Lovers’ Broadway Debuts
Will Julia Roberts show up tonight to see two of her ex lovers–Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric — debut all star revival of Jason Miller‘s “That Championship Season.” Roberts, who left Sutherland at the altar in 1991 to run off to Ireland with Patric, would really make for drama at the Bernard Jacobs Theater.
This production has maybe more drama backstage than onstage. Miller is dead, but his son, Jason Patric, is one of the stars. According to a Page Six item, he’s toting Miller’s ashes around with him in an urn on stage. (At least he’s not snorting them.) PS Patric’s maternal grandfather was Jackie Gleason, FYI. Any time I’ve ever asked Patric about Jackie, he’s brushed it off. So you see why there’s no press. (That, and what if Julia shows up? Wow.)
Patric, who’s not totally convincing as an alcoholic former basketball player, also has an interesting backstage story with this production. Sutherland was once set to marry Julia Roberts. A stage set at 20th Century Fox has been readied, invitations went out, it was all on. The date was June 14, 1991. Then, with three days to go, Julia canceled the wedding and ran off to Ireland with…Jason Patric. Really, who needs a play?
At Saturday afternoon’s matinee, the cast–Patric, Sutherland, Chris Noth, Jim Gaffigan, and Brian Cox were fine, although Cox is way beyond that. He is worth the whole ticket. Gaffigan, a TV actor and comedian in his Broadway debut, was very good. Chris Noth, playing Paul Sorvino’s old part (and that’s a “Law & Order” trivia question right there) is underused but makes a strong impact. Julia’s two exes are not so certain. A lot of the audience may be disappointed that Sutherland’s part is small. He doesn’t have much to do and he doesn’t do much with it. Patric’s alcoholic didn’t land a punch on Saturday, but he could grow into it.
The biggest problem is the play itself. Written in 1972, “TCS” is extremely anti-Semitic and racist. Back then, in the flush of “All in the Family” on TV, this seemed daring. Now frankly it’s obnoxious. We’ve grown, but the play hasn’t. I felt this way when I saw it in a different production a couple of summers ago at the Westport Country Playhouse. Cox’s character, the coach, is all Archie Bunker. Gaffigan is his disciple. Once you’ve warmed up to their bigotry and small mindedness, the actors are strong enough to pull you along. But the secondary characters–the former basketball players who may have cheated to get their famous high school win–pale by comparison.
UPDATE: In the end, Julia was a no-show. Sarah Jessica Parker,Robin Williams, Julianna Margulies, and Marg Helgenberger were the stars in the audience.
Mariah Carey: How Our Story Got Stolen By Everyone
Look back two days in this column and you’ll see a story about Mariah Carey. She told me was “naive” about performing for Muammar Ghaddafi’s son on New Year’s Eve 2008 in St. Bart’s. I reported exclusively that Mariah was donating all the money from a new song called “Save the Day” to human rights charities. She might even start a foundation–might. What happened next? Other websites–the ones Google said it was getting rid for simply repurposing the news–just lifted the whole thing. Many claimed Carey had sent them a statement directly. However, they all used my verbiage about Ghaddafi–“vicious, crazy.” The Hollywood Reporter just helped itself to it 24 hours later almost verbatim. Some outlets said they got their story from a statement on Carey’s website. None of them acknowledged that Carey’s webmaster had just reprinted my story–with credit. But this is how the internet works. And it doesn’t seem like the new Google algorithm worked very well weeding all these sites out. And PS, to the idiots who decided Carey was returning money she made in 2008: she ain’t. That’s some fiction you created on your own.
Surprise! “Spider Man” Has Improved And Has A Cool Ending
Well, well. “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” has actually improved. I saw it on Friday night, and there were no glitches or stops of any kind. The flying and all the special effects were absolutely thrilling. After about 100 performances, the aerialists actually seem comfortable and are having fun with the show.
Of course, past mistakes led to yesterday’s three fines from OSHA amounting to $12,500 apiece. But those fines were for old business. “Spider Man” now looks like it never had a problem. And now it has an actual ending–a pretty cool one, in fact, that brings the audience to their feet. The ending is going to be a big deal because it’s what people remember about a show.
Let’s face it: “Spider Man” has a weak book. That is never going to change drastically, although there have been lots of tweaks, cuts, and small additions. They make a big difference. The second act is still very slight when it comes to the story. But the set pieces are great, especially those involving the Sinister Six. And Patrick Page and Michael Mulheren are superb comic actors. The main problem: the story of Arachne is still a time sponge. Although beautifully staged, I would move that first act Arachne number with the loom to the second act–keeping the Green Goblin in Act I and Spider woman in Act II. But no one asked me.
Another improvement: it did feel like U2’s producer, Steve Lillywhite, has had an effect on the music. It rocks now. In the past, the music had a dead feeling to it. It’s much more supple, and defined. Maybe I’m wrong, but it also seemed like the song “Picture This,” which used to sound like an outtake from “Who’s Next,” now feels like a proper U2 production.
Will “Spider Man” open on March 15th? There’s a sign on the box office window that says it will. Anything could change, as we well know. But after Friday night’s show, I say they should go for it. The critics will never like it. “Spider Man” is a spectacle. It’s not “Kiss Me Kate.” But the mostly sold out audience loved it. There laughs in the right places last night.
And there was awe at the flying. I am in awe of Reeve Carney, TV Carpio, and Jennifer Damiano–as actors they are required to do really tricky acrobatics. It takes courage and they’ve got tons of it. “Spider Man” may have been a costly public experiment, but these actors have soldiered through it brilliantly.
Charlie Sheen: “Hope is For Suckers”
Charlie Sheen, who I thought was a little quiet in recent hours, surfaced again today on a Philadelphia morning radio call in show. He told Chia and Shilo from Philly’s 96.5 that he’s close to making a deal with CBS and “Two and A Half Men.” He said he had faith,, not hope, that it was happening because “hope is for suckers.” Sheen called into the show because they flew a plane over his house and begged him to call. You can only imagine what his neighbors are thinking at this point. Anyway, there’s a lot of insane stuff in this interview as usual. Sheen said of people who are against him: “They boil my tiger blood like a microwave on meth.” He added: “I don’t speak to them anymore. I speak past them. I don’t have any interest in being stuck in the mire of their stupidity. I lead with the truth. I’ve been inside the truth. If they decided to come around eventually… because the party over here is really bitching.” Congrats to the radio station; their gimmick paid off. Nothing like the rantings of a madman to get attention!
JLO American Idol Video Sends Her to Number 1 on ITunes
The “American Idol” deal that Benny Medina made for Jennifer Lopez has paid off in buckets of gold. Lopez’s new highly auto-tuned single, “On the Floor,” which had a video debut on “Idol” this week, has hit number 1 on ITunes. The music is produced by Red One, the same guy who’s made Lady GaGa a sensation. RedOne didn’t come cheap, but he was the right choice. Lopez’s music career had pretty much nosedived a couple of years ago with the single “Get Right” with its god awful off key horn sample from an unreleased Usher record. By 2009 she was singing about her shoes in “Louboutins.” Things looked bleak, and Columbia Records said goodbye. But all is changed now with her $12 million deal. Next, I guess, will be an album. More importantly, RedOne is also producing a new album right now for Lopez’s very talented husband, Marc Anthony. It will be his first English language record in 12 years.
Paula Abdul Was Always Simon’s “X Factor”: From August 2010
Big headline this morning that Simon Cowell’s talking to Paula Abdul about joining “X Factor.” In fact, I told you last August 9th that this was already in the works. Cowell always planned on Paula being the “X Factor” in his judge panel. A high up at Sony told me that last fall. And that’s because the whole rivalry between “X Factor” and “American Idol” falls into a war between Universal Music Group, which now has the recording deals for “AI,” and Sony Music, which has “X Factor.” Steven Tyler, who records for Sony and judges for “AI,” is the exception, but he’s not an active recording artist for Sony. Jennifer Lopez, who’s debuting her new video on “AI,” is with UMG. Mariah Carey, therefore, is not likely to be on a Sony panel; that’s her ex-record company. Indeed, “X Factor” has lots of Sony artists to promote. And when Doug Morris, the new head of Sony and ex chief of UMG, starts work July 1st, I am sure he will be right in there with suggestions. I would say the bigger question is who will be Simon’s third judge? And knowing Simon, who’s the PT Barnum of our time, he will tease out many names between now and September. But trust me, he already knows the winner’s names.
http://www.showbiz411.com/2010/08/09/paula-abdul-will-join-simon-cowell-on-x-factor