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Bruce Willis Stars in a Die Hard Sequel At Last, Only it’s a Two Minute Big Budget Commercial for Die Hard Batteries

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Bruce Willis, who’s made several straight to video movies lately, is finally a new sequel to “Die Hard.” Only this time it’s a big budget two minute commercial for Die Hard batteries. It’s actually better than his last 10 movies.

There’s not much dialogue, and a lot of editing, but Bruce is still capable of turning on the charming smile, and looking like he’s playing John McClane. De’voreaux White and Clarence Gilyard Jr. reprise their roles from the original movie.

Die Hard Batteries obviously spent a lot of money on this, so it was a good payday for Willis. Bruce isn’t or can’t work that much these days, but he’s still got his swagger. Good for him!

A New Adele Album for Halloween? All Signs Point to Singer’s Much Awaited New Release on October 30th

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Now that Adele has been announced as the host of “SNL” next Saturday, all signs point to a new album on Friday, October 30th.

It won’t be next Friday, October 23rd. Sony/Columbia is dropping Bruce Springsteen’s “Letter to You,” and they can only have one number 1 at a time.

If the new Adele comes for Halloween, the timing is excellent. She’d have a clear path through November and into the holidays for what I expect would be a several million selling CD. Plus, she’d be in time for an appearance on the American Music Awards on Sunday November 22nd.

Sony would have only gotten one week at the top of the charts with Springsteen, anyway, no matter what a masterpiece it is. (And it is.) This way, Bruce can coast in top 10 for a bit after his debut.

So hold on. It’s going to be all Adele, all the time.

PS Ariana Grande? Who knows? She may drop this coming Friday to stay out of the way.

ADELE to Host “Saturday Night Live” Next Week, as Ratings Slip Again, with Host Issa Rae and Singer Justin Bieber, for Third Week in a Row

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Surprise! Adele will host “SNL” October 24th, with HER as the musical guest.  She’s either going to sing or explain why she has no new album. Weird. As I told you earlier this week, my sources said Adele was ready to drop a single and an album after 5 years’ absence. Read here about Adele. The last time Adele was on “SNL” was November 20, 2015, just as she launched her “25” album. Her new album could be dropping this coming Friday, October 23rd, or next, October 30th. I would guess the 30th, as Sony has Bruce Springsteen coming on the 23rd.

Adele writes on Instagram:

Bloooooody hellllll I’m so excited about this!! And also absolutely terrified! My first ever hosting gig and for SNL of all things!!!! I’ve always wanted to do it as a stand alone moment, so that I could roll up my sleeves and fully throw myself into it, but the time has never been right. But if there was ever a time for any of us to jump head first into the deep end with our eyes closed and hope for the best it’s 2020 right?
Itll be almost 12 years to the day that I first appeared on the show, during an election…which went on to break my career in America, so it feels full circle and I just couldn’t possibly say no! I am besides myself that H.E.R will be the musical guest!! I love her SO much I can’t wait to melt into a flaming hot mess when she performs, then confuse myself while I laugh my arse off in between it all.
See you next week ♥️🤞🏻


Last night’s report:

“Saturday Night Live” is slipping in the ratings.

It’s still ahead of the 2019 season, but the fervor of returning after a dreadful summer is wearing off.

Last night the show scored 4.5 million viewers. The key demo was 2.0. That was down from 4.7 million the previous week, and 2.2 million in the demo.

Justin Bieber, who was supposed to attract a younger audience, didn’t.

“SNL” started big three weeks ago when it returned to the studio with a live audience. They grabbed a total of 5.6 million and 2.9 in the demo. But the novelty wore off. And frankly, Jim Carrey hasn’t caught on as Joe Biden.

Last night’s show was also missing Cecily Strong, an important part of the cast. She’s shooting a series in Vancouver.

Also, the whole writing vibe is off. And Kate McKinnon– who was razor sharp as Savannah Guthrie– isn’t getting enough focus. She’s lost two big characters, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elizabeth Warren. Last week she broke character during a failing bit included in Weekend Update, and admitted that it was hard to do this stuff during the pandemic and the crazy election. But we need her!

Last year “SNL” averaged 4 million viewers a show except for the Eddie Murphy episode. So this season is ahead right now, but it’s dropping week by week.

“SNL” Appearance Lifts “Lonely” Justin Bieber’s Singles on Charts, But His 2021 Tour Isn’t Selling Tickets (Again)

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Justin Bieber’s appearance on “Saturday Night Live” was intended as a shot of Adrenalin into his projects. It worked a little, and not at all.

Flying to New York, Bieber accomplished pushing his woe-is-me single, “Lonely,” to number 1 on iTunes and his duet with Chance the Rapper, called “Holy,” back to number 4. (I objected to the big neon cross hanging behind him on the first number. “SNL” isn’t religious programming. NBC could have a problem with that.)

But Bieber’s bigger problem isn’t solved. His 2021 tour, which was supposed to replace his cancelled 2020 dates, isn’t selling. Let’s not forget that pre-pandemic, the 2020 tour wasn’t selling either. It was systematically downgraded from stadiums to arenas, dates were cancelled, moved, it was a mess. The pandemic gave Bieber an excuse for dumping the whole thing, right in the nick of time.

Now the new dates seem like they’ve been on sale since around August 6th. A look at Ticketmaster shows that almost all the dates have sold lightly, with the floor seats doing well, not great. But the balance of each venue is unsold, with blue dots everywhere indicating lots of available tickets.

The tour begins in June 2021, maybe, who knows? Depending on COVID, it’s unclear if it will really happen, and if it does, will fans take the chance of moshing together, standing, screaming, and breathing on each other?

The two singles now will help get attention for the tour. But Bieber will have to release another album, including them, in early spring so he has something to cross promote the tour. His album from last winter, “Changes,” has sold just 187,000 downloads and CDs. With streaming, the number bulks up to 873,000 but a lot of that includes sales of his only hit off the album. “Intentions,” his single featuring Quavo.

I do hope Quavo and Chance the Rapper are being remunerated properly for their use in these singles. They surely realize their importance in helping Bieber, a whiny white kid, reach a diverse audience.

Caroline Giuliani’s Repudiation of Trump and Her Father, Rudy Giuliani, Lifts Vanity Fair’s Website Out of Morass

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For months, if not years, Vanity Fair’s website numbers have been a mess. Like its newsstand circulation, Vanity Fair has dropped in numbers considerably since Radhika Jones succeeded Graydon Carter as editor in chief and installed a new multicultural agenda.

But this week, the flailing magazine with an unclear mandate stuck gold, at least online. They published a piece by Caroline Rose Giuliani, daughter of crazy ex New York mayor Rudy Giuliani and former newscaster Donna Hanover. The article was an excoriation of Donald Trump, Caroline’s vow to vote for Joe Biden, and a repudiation of her despised father.

The result, according to Alexa.com, was a sudden jump on October 14th in VanityFair.com’s readership. It wasn’t huge but it was something, a sign of life after a long, dismal decline. The website was ranked internationally by Alexa at number 5,169 among all sites on the 14th. Two days later, it was up to 5,019. In the US, the site 1,171. Last week, it was down to around 1,500.

Strangely, the Giuliani piece is not featured on the website right now, Sunday at 11am. It’s hard to find, in fact. It’s been replaced by a story about rapper Killer Mike that absolutely no one cares about. But that’s Jones’s Vanity Fair.

Let’s hope they paid Caroline Rose a lot since she briefly saved the site from torpor. It won’t last long but they should pay her a royalty on traffic.

Caroline, as I wrote here 10 years ago when she was arrested for shoplifting in Cambridge, Massachusetts, hasn’t had it easy. I referred in 2020 to a piece I reported in New York magazine. To wit:

Starting when she was 6 years old, there was trouble.

I reported this story from April 27, 1995 in New York Magazine. That was the day Caroline was used by Daddy and his staff as comic relief to break up two presentations of the city budget — first to Wall Street and then to the press.

Caroline was seated next to Rudy’s then girlfriend Cristyne Lategano, who was also his spokesman, during the morning presentation to Wall Street analysts. Lategano tapped Caroline on the back. The little girl ran to the podium and interrupted her father’s delivery of the grim budget news. Everyone laughed. The Mayor said, “Did you learn that from Andrew?” He was referring to Caroline’s older brother, Andrew, who’d famously interrupted a Mayoral speech earlier. The solemn mood in the room was broken.

Giuliani must have liked the effect. Later that day, at the press conference, Lategano did the same thing. She sent poor Caroline “spontaneously” to the podium at the same time as before. The Mayor said the same thing. “Did you learn that from Andrew?” Everyone laughed.

Last year, Caroline went against her father publicly and backed Barack Obama for president. It’s no secret that the former Mayor and his children are estranged. But considering that during their childhood Caroline and Andrew’s dad had two affairs while in office, they might be excused. Let’s just hope Caroline can get some help so she doesn’t have to act out her pain in public.

 

 

Madonna Posts 3 Minute Video Announcing Completion of 133 Page Screenplay About Her Life, Belches Approval

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You’ll be happy to know that Madonna has finished — Diablo Cody — the screenplay about her life. It came in at 133 pages, or as she says in a video posted to Instagram, the age of Jesus at his death plus 100. “The ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows,” as she describes it. Then she belches.

Screenplays are generally thought to run one minute per page, meaning Madonna’s life story, which we’ve experience in very real time, would last two hours and 13 minutes on screen, not counting musical numbers. Madonna plans to direct the movie, which maybe should be a miniseries or a limited series. Cody quips at the length that it’s “like Gone with the Wind.”

The 3 min video is more entertaining than new Madonna single has been in 20 years.

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#screenplay #diablo

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Marquee Soon: Cuomo Says Movie Theaters Outside New York City Can Re-open Next Friday, October 23rd

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Light up the marquees! Governor Andrew Cuomo will allow movie theaters outside New York City to reopen next Friday October 23rd.

Maybe Regal Cinemas will have a change of heart. AMC Theaters are getting a lifeline tossed to them on the brink of closure.

The theaters will have to adhere to social distancing rules. But so far that’s gone fine in other states, like Connecticut, where Cinemark has done an excellent job of keeping everything COVID free.

New York State’s policy of closed theaters has just about wrecked a lot of businesses. So this is a boon to everyone’s finances. Now we need to get NYC theaters cooking.

Watch the Grammy Lifetime Special HERE Featuring Sam Moore, Cyndi Lauper, John Prine, Cynthia Erivo and Leslie Odom Jr, Chris Isaak, Philip Bailey

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Here’s the Grammy Special Merit show that aired last night on PBS, which did everything it could to bury it.

But the performances are amazing, and Jimmy Jam Harris did yeoman working hosting it. David Wild wrote a great script.

At 48:00, Greg Phillinganes introduces 85 year old Sam Moore of Sam & Dave, who kills it singing his hits written by honoree Isaac Hayes. Stunning. Like Gladys Knight, Moore has retained all of his voice. He’s not only pitch perfect, but he has rare textures in that voice that have aged like a fine wine. Remarkable stuff here. This is an artist of lifelong talent at work.

Elsewhere, you’ll see Cyndi Lauper, Chris Isaak, Philip Bailey of Earth Wind & Fire, Cynthia Erivo with a soaring Leslie Odom Jr. and many more. A beautifully produced show that got ZERO promotion. What can you do at this point? Watch it now. It will make you feel better. The whole last half hour is devoted to John Prine, and it’s captivating.

Well, How Did We Get Here? The Best Movie of 2020, David Byrne’s “American Utopia,” is on HBO Tonight

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The best movie of 2020, David Byrne’s “American Utopia,” hits HBO tonight at 8pm Eastern. You can’t not watch it. Spike Lee loved the Broadway production so much he asked to direct the movie version, and he has done it very well. Ellen Kuras, such an extraordinary talent, created a cinematographic beauty. The show was a massive hit on Broadway last year, so the Tony nominations this week ignored it. That’s how you know it’s good.

When I saw David Byrne’s “Here Lies Love” at the Public Theater it was a mind blower, of course. A work of sheer genius in its staging and execution. The songs were all new, nothing from the Talking Heads, and still it carried the audience– many of whom, like me, who were running, moving, shifting — into a new dimension. But this was not new for Byrne. I was there at Radio City Music Hall when he brought African musicians onto the stage November 2, 1980– this was years before Paul Simon’s “Graceland” — for the Fear of Music tour. I remember standing for the whole show (I was a lot younger) as “I Zimbra” enveloped the famed theater.

You can draw a direct line from that Radio City show to “American Utopia.” The latter show is 40 years in the making, really. Byrne was a precocious 28 years old at that show (I was 6) but the genius was fully formed. That show included “I Zimbra” — already more than a year old, as well as “Life During Wartime (This Ain’t No Disco)”– and the then already classic “Once in a Lifetime.” When I look back at that set list I see that Byrne still didn’t know how good “This Must Be The Place” was, and hadn’t yet given into the hit potential of “Burning Down the House.” Back in 1980, everything David Byrne was an oddity, a cult hit, not yet a commercial entity.

How funny to think of that as he prances across the “American Utopia” stage barefoot, leading his band of dancers, singers, and musicians in songs that you couldn’t imagine in 1980 would become standards. I remember waking up to WBCN in 1977 and hearing “Don’t Worry About the Government,” one of all my time favorites, for the first time. He’s singing about what? Apartment buildings? Convenience? With a robotic metal sounding voice that was somehow still soulful, the song unravels into a majestic poem.

I smell the pine trees and the peaches in the woods
I see the pine cones that fall by the highway
That’s the highway that goes to the building
I pick the building that I want to live in

And there you have the beautiful dichotomy of a David Byrne composition: it’s bitter and sweet, dancing and architecture. Human facing the unknown anonymity of life during wartime, or a pandemic, and you know we’ll get through it.

I’ll be there at 8pm tonight, my building has many conveniences. Let’s blow out HBO’s servers.

PS If you miss going to museums, this is also the best art installation of the last century.

Kardashians Slip Under 600,000 Viewers Again as Presidential Town Halls Decimate Their Audience Despite Kim Live Tweeting

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The Kardashians have hit a stride, although not a good one.

The Thursday night episode of “Keeping Up with” them aired, unfortunately, while the presidential candidates were Town Halling on ABC and NBC.

The result was just 571,000 fans tuned in to see whatever nonsense was happening. That about ties two weeks ago when the number was 569,000. In between the show did rise to around 650,000. But I guess there wasn’t enough incentive to come back again.

The consistent numbers below 600,000 seem to be the average for this final go-round. And this was despite Kim K live tweeting the show. No one really cared.

I still think a murder cliff hanger a la “Who Shot JR?” would help, or a confrontation with Kanye West over his insanity. Maybe when they go under 500,000 we’ll see one of those!