Monday, December 15, 2025
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Stiller and Meara Philosophy: “Life is a Rental”

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So we shlepped out to the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens last night for the only two people who could get us there: Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. The New Yorker’s Ben Greenman served as moderator as Jerry and Anne reminisced free form, and hilariously, about their long career(s). There were clips of their early appearances on “The Ed Sullivan Show” and from Jerry’s classic “Seinfeld” shows as Frank Costanza, and from Anne’s numerous sitcom turns on “Rhoda” and “Archie Bunker’s Place.” I used to love Jerry and Anne’s radio commercials for Blue Nun when I was in high school. They are abnormally funny and still play off each other like a well rehearsed symphony of jokes.

Meara–whom Ed Sullivan mispronounced “Mara”– always throws in philosophical, funny observations. Realizing many of the people they were mentioning–like Rodney Dangerfield and Henry Morgan–were long gone, Meara said, “Life is a rental.” So true. Why didn’t they correct Sullivan on the pronunciation? “We were scared to death of him. He was like someone sent from the Vatican,” Jerry said. The show was only supposed be to an hour, ran at least ten minutes longer, and could have gone on all night. Most of it was about their tough tour circa 1963 of small cities after early success in Greenwich Village nightclubs. “We bombed everywhere, every night,” Jerry said, remembering how they dragged their kids, Ben and Amy, around the country.

“Cleveland,” Anne said. “Stay out. St. Louis, it was very hip then. It was the first time I heard someone say they were going back to their ‘pad.’ I thought it was a feminine thing.”

“F—!” WTF? The F Word Comes Into the Mainstream

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It didn’t start with Melissa Leo on the Oscars. But when she dropped the F bomb during her acceptance speech two weeks ago, everyone sat up and paid attention. But frankly, the F word has made a big leap into the mainstream recently. Cee Lo Green has had a big hit with “F— You.” Then Gywneth Paltrow jumped in and the song had to be cleaned up to the soccer mom-ish  “Forget You.” But the Cee Lo version is the one everyone wants whether or not radio plays it. Lily Allen has her song called “F— You,” not to be left out. I do think all of them got the idea from Aimee Mann who warbled “You f—ed it up” in one of her early songs.

Then we have Enrique Iglesias, eking out yet another nasal, tonally indifferent song with “Tonight I’m F–ing You.” Hate it, but it’s catchy as hell and not nearly as good when it’s “Tonight I’m Loving You.” F that! Soon comes a Broadway play, believe it or not, called “The Motherf–cker in the Hat.” The New York Times just puts an underscore in place of the offending word. And there’s more: Green Day‘s new live CD is called “Awesome as — ” you know what.

It’s nothing new, really. One of Harry Nilsson‘s best songs, from the early 70s, was called “You’re Breaking My Heart (So F– You).” Rappers and hiphoppers have long used the F word and lots worse in their material. Of course, most of us don’t hear that stuff, so we have no idea how bad it’s gotten on CDs with the “explicit language” labels. This is different. Now the F word is out in the open. Of course, newspapers and magazines and legit websites won’t print it. Gawker doesn’t mind; they’ve been obsessed with something called a “f—saw” for weeks. I’m pretty sure it’s just so they can use the word; it builds traffic, no doubt.

Is this turn of events a good thing? George Carlin must be smiling. Wikipedia has a fairly good entry on the word, and I’m sure the OED does, too. But it’s coarse, and vulgar. It’s meant to shock, although by this time how shocking can it be? Using ‘f–” is, I guess, the last taboo since thanks to talk shows and South Park there’s nothing left really. (Bestiality? Incest? Necrophilia? Old hat.) Shocking?  For Melissa Leo, it was an exultation. For the so-called songwriters, and maybe even the playwright, maybe a little lazy with a language that has so much more to offer. Better to keep it to the web standard: WTF?

LAPD Search for Firearms–Charlie Sheen Tweets: “All Reports Are False”

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UPDATE: Charlie Sheen tweets: “the LAPD were AWESOME. Absolute pros! they can protect and serve this Warlock anytime!!! c”  Earlier Thursday evening: Reports from various news sources in Los Angeles say that Charlie Sheen’s house has been raided by the LAPD. The police department says they’re looking for firearms. They may be looking for unlicensed weapons. Sheen’s Tweet master Bob Maron has sent out a message: “all good here on homefront. all reports false. I’ll explain more very soon.” This may have to do with custody. Earlier today Sheen struck a custody deal with ex wife Brooke Mueller over their kids. Meanwhile, in other Sheen news: he announced one man shows in Chicago and Detroit. He also patted himself on the back for his last UStream broadcast. More to come…Just another night in Hollywood!

Charlie Sheen’s Lawsuit May Be on Tiger Juice, Too

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Charlie Sheen has filed suit against the trolls– Warner Bros. and Chuck Lorre, creator of “Two and A Half Men.” Hollywood legal pitbull Marty Singer wrote the suit, which contains prose so purple that Prince would blush reading it. Basically, Singer has pinned the blame for the entire mess on Lorre, claiming that Sheen was the whole show, that everyone profited because of Sheen, and now that Lorre doesn’t like him, he’s chucking him out. (Pun intended.)

Singer–based on Sheen’s ranting– is so myopic that he really thinks no one else contributed to the TV show’s success. It’s all Charlie. But Singer’s arguments don’t stand up to the naked eye. For one thing, Sheen’s “rehab”–which Warner Bros. requested–consisted of Sheen at home, ditching professional advice. He himself has said on several occasions that he “blinked” and cured himself. Will that stand up in court? This is all hyperbolic legal mush.

Singer — and Sheen– like to point out that Lorre had trouble with stars before Sheen: Roseanne Barr, Cybill Shepherd, and Brett Butler. True enough. The first and the last were difficult and chemical problems. Shepherd was tough on everyone, including co-star Christine Baranski, who got along fine with Lorre. Indeed. Lorre had no issues with John Goodman and Laurie Metcalfe on “Roseanne” or Baranski and Alan Rosenberg on “Cybill.” There are no reports of problems on “The Big Bang Theory” or “Mike and Molly.” And so far, after 8 seasons, Lorre’s had no issues with Jon Cryer.

Sheen, meanwhile, doesn’t seem to get it. He wasn’t suspended or fired until he started attacking his bosses–nationally, vocally, constantly. They extended his contract before that happened. Right or wrong, they looked the other way through his arrests, divorces, custody battles. They even supported him. But when he turned on them. they retaliated. Losing!

What Sheen doesn’t get: a new actor on “Men” will not be named Charlie. It’s easy enough to have Jon Cryer open the door to a new player and say, “Charlie has been taken captive by a bunch of goddesses in Alaska. We’ll miss him.” End of story. Introduce new guy–missing brother, cousin, friend. And move on.

“American Idiot” Broadway Run Ending with Green Day Leader 3 Week Run

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“American Idiot” is closing on Broadway after one year of performances on  April 24th. To commemorate the end, Green Day‘s Billie Joe Armstrong is coming back for the last three weeks. This was such a cool, fun show, I’m sorry to see it leave. But “American Idiot” has been on life support for some time. The only weeks when it does business now is when Armstrong is in the cast. Who could have guessed that Armstrong, a late generation “punk” rocker, would turn out to be a Broadway star? Or that this album would have made for such a good stage show? Interestingly. Green Day is getting ready for a new live CD on March 14th called “Awesome as F–.” The CD is one Warner/Reprise, but the LP– vinyl– comes from their own Adeline Records label. It’s no wonder Warner Music Group is for sale.

Mel Gibson in Guatemala for Profit, And (Oh, Yes) Charity

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Mel Gibson‘s trip to Guatemala isn’t just to help raise awareness for the plight of the rainforest. No way. Mel is there with the Petra Group, and is an investor in one of their companies called Green Rubber. The purpose is to make money by creating a recyclable rubber. In other words, Mel wants to save the rainforest and make a bundle from it at the same time.

Green Rubber has its own problems. A couple of years ago, Bruce Willis, an other celebrity investor, sued them to get back $900,000 of his $2 million investment. Willis sued Petra and its leaders Datuk Vinod B. Sekhar and Malaysian Prince Tunku Imran. The “Die Hard” star said that he invested $2 million in Green Rubber because the pair promised him there would be an IPO. When it didn’t materialize, Willis got back only $1.1 million. He wanted the other $900,000, too. He claimed he had  Vinod evaded him. The case was settled “amicably” in 2008– meaning Willis got his money back said he supported Green Rubber.

Vimod — who is on the Forbes list of richest people in the world–has his own issues.

Last month in Malaysia, the Department of Insolvency tried to jail him for contempt of court. According to the MalaysianInsider.com, Vinod, who was declared a bankrupt by the Kuala Lumpur High Court on June 8, 2005, committed two offences when he became a director of 25 companies and left the country without the permission of the Director-General of Insolvency, under Section 38 of the Bankruptcy Act. Vinod was declared a bankrupt for failing to settle his debt totalling RM12.376 million with credit company Orix Credit Malaysia Sdn Bhd and 11 other companies.”

“Spider Man” Will Likely Shut Down for Re-tooling; Taymor Sidelined by Producers

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So: Julie Taymor has been sidelined by the producers of “Spider Man.” Ousted? Yes. Gone altogether? Not quite. “Spider Man” remains her show, no matter what they do to it. First on the agenda: a shut down of two to three weeks so they can re-tool and give the cast a chance to rest. Certainly to be rethought: the so called Geek chorus of four kids who –as a framing device–narrate the show as if they were writing a comic book.

The shut down will happen. One source told me: “We’d rather spend the money and fix it so it plays a long time.”

Philip William McKinley and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa will come in to re-stage and re-write, respectively. (The NY Post got it all wrong on Wednesday.)

Also to be determined: what to do with the character of Arachne, the Spider woman who appeared in the first “Spider Man” comic book but has come to occupy too much of the musical. TV Carpio is great as Arachne, but her time will no doubt be cut as Arachne is reimagined as a villain and not the entirety of the show. The quick fix: pull her out of Act 1 altogether and make her the Act 2 antagonist. Get right into Peter Parker’s story in Act 1 and end the act with a clifhanger of the Green Goblin holding someone–Peter or Mary Jane–hostage. And for god’s sake, write a romance between Peter and Mary Jane with some humor.

Is Taymor’s situation her own fault? To some degree. but not all. Sources tell me that most of the “Spider Man” investors have never even seen the show. Instead of coming in and checking it out, they’ve depended on hearsay and gossip items. Also, Bono and The Edge are late arrivals to the scene. They say they’re adding maybe two new songs. But they may soon see they have more to do than just that. Must cut: the dancing shoe number. Must must must. Must add: either three or four tuneful new songs or — and I mean this– add “With Or Without You,” “Mysterious Ways,” and “Stay” from the U2 catalog to anchor the show. There is nothing wrong with this. Really.

One can only hope that after a cooling off period, Taymor, who is a genius, will return as part of the team and adapt to the changes. But “Spider Man” definitely needs its upcoming time out if it’s going to return in June.

Will Mel Gibson’s Plea Bargain Help His “Beaver”?

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Crime pays in Los Angeles, as usual. Mel Gibson, according to TMZ and other sources, has cut a deal with the Los Angeles District Attorney in his domestic abuse case with former lover and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva. He gets no jail time, just counseling, and, of course, pays up for admitting to “battery.”

Thus, Gibson gets rid of the case six weeks before he must do promotion for his new movie, “The Beaver.” You can just imagine those junkets: Mel will likely bar reporters from asking about this, or the custody case, Oksana, plus all his other stuff including DUI, anti-Semitism. his father or the Holocaust. Or his church. Or his divorce. Or “sugar tits.” During promotion last year for “Edge of Darkness,” Mel verbally attacked several reporters. These will be short interviews!

Gibson — as a movie star not bound by the usual laws– is in Guatemala on what’s described as a charity mission to save the rainforests. It doesn’t matter that he’s had no connection to rainforest preservation in the past. Or to the main groups–like the Rainforest Foundation and the Rainforest Alliance. It’s a photo op, or a pr stunt, to dilute the news of the plea.

According to TMZ “Mel will plead no contest to simple battery, a lesser charge than corporal injury on a spouse.  Although battery is a misdemeanor, under the law, since it involves “a person with whom the defendant is cohabiting” and “a person who is the parent of the defendant’s child,” Mel must appear in person.”

Gibson will be back from Guatemala and in court on Friday.

Mel’s neighborhood is getting to be an interesting place. A couple of years ago I ran into another star who’d beaten the system, Robert Blake, having lunch at a bikers’ bar jusr down the road from Mel’s personally funded church. Stars in Agoura Hills!

Gwyneth Paltrow: No Record Deal, Press Reports Were Premature

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Gwyneth Paltrow — contrary to reports from the UK Sun newspaper–does not have a deal with Atlantic Records. And she certainly hasn’t got one for their quoted number of $900,000. It’s all fiction, apparently. Atlantic’s Craig Kallman apparently had some conversations with Gwyneth, who had a great success again last night on “Glee.” It was Kallman who put together Paltrow and Cee Lo for their rousing Grammy performance of “F— You.” But there’s no deal so far, and no money. Paltrow can probably get a deal from Atlantic or another company, but it hasn’t happened. (Atlantic would make sense, however.) In any case, Paltrow’s burgeoning music career seems a little like a rebuke to her (possibly) ex friend, Madonna. It’s also kind of interesting that Gwyneth, who’s married to rock star Chris Martin of Coldplay, choose this path instead of trying to do some serious films and get another Oscar. But more power to her! She looks like she’s having a ball.

“Spider Man” Civil War: Negotiating Taymor Exit and Saving Troubled Musical

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Two hours ago, a lead investor for “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” told me: “We want Julie Taymor to stay.” He said that it was his opinion that it would be good for her and good for the production. An hour ago, the New York Times posted a blog saying that Taymor was out, and was negotiating her exit. “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” is in turmoil. Getting rid of Taymor is an pr nightmare since it’s her show. Bringing in new creative people to re think a $65 million show that was already created by someone else has run for 100 performances? This is a nightmare. What’s going on? It does seem as though Michael Cohl, who comes from a rock and roll background, has cut ties with Taymor and headed in the direction of Bono and The Edge. Taymor knows Broadway and opera; Cohl knows rock and roll (he’s currently fighting with Live Nation over who has the rights to the next Rolling Stones tour). Is “SpiderMan” a Broadway show or a rock concert? Is it a musical or a spectacle? These are questions that have never been answered. But maybe the answer is coming, depending on who triumphs in turning off the chaos that has plagued this show from the beginning. My source says: “We want this to run 20 years, not 2 years. We want Julie to stay and be part of the team, but we have to fix this thing.”