Maybe like me you thought “The Marriage Ref” was supposed to air on Sunday night, March 6th. Certainly there are press releases about it all over the web, and one of the local New York papers mentioned it was airing that night. But poof! all gone. No “Ref.” Instead we got the inane “America’s Next Restaurant.” Jerry Seinfeld cannot be happy. “The Marriage Ref” not only didn’t air, but on the NBC website it barely exists, if at all. It’s not included in the list of current shows. I found “April 3, 2011” listed as one possible launch date, but it’s unclear where that came from. As late as the end of February, “The Marriage Ref” was still looking for real life couples to come on the show and expose their personal lives. I know a lot of people disliked this show, but maybe they didn’t get it–it wasn’t about the couples. It was about the celebrity panelists coming on and riffing about their own lives. I got more out of Madonna’s appearance than in any interview she ever did. I hope “The Marriage Ref” isn’t dead, but I’d be concerned at this point. New NBC chief Steve Burke doesn’t have the allegiance to Seinfeld that past network players did–it will be interesting to see if this causes a permanent rift.
Zach Braff Goes Off Broadway Again; John Slattery Waits for “Mad Men,” Too
“Scrubs” star Zach Braff is heading back to off Broadway. The “Garden State” director-writer appeared last summer at the Second Stage company in “Trust” and got great reviews. Now he’s written a play that Second Stage will produce this coming August. No cast announcements yet. But Braff is connected to lots of good actors in New York, where he’s resumed residence after success in Hollywood. Actually, as he said the other day, “I’m back and forth.” I’m sure this play, like “Trust,” will have all the summering Hamptonians making the trip into the city…
…Meantime John Slattery, who co-stars in “The Adjustment Bureau,” opening in movie theatres next week, is also waiting for the “Mad Men” situation to be resolved. Slattery– aka Roger Sterling–Â was at last night’s premiere of “Good People” on Broadway with wife actress Talia Balsam, whose famous mother, Joyce van Patten, will soon open at Studio 54 in “The People in the Picture,” a musical. Slattery has absolutely no inside info; no one does. Balsam had a funny observation though (she plays Roger Sterling’s ex wife on “Mad Men”): “As a fan, I used to get really angry when it took so long for The Sopranos to come back–like a year and a half. Now we know how it really feels!”
Spider Man, Charlie Sheen Top Overnight Headlines
“Spider Man: Turn off the Dark”– as I reported on Sunday morning, there’s turmoil within the embattled Broadway show. A source says the show is going to be rewritten from top to bottom, that it won’t make the Tony Awards deadline of April 28th. and instead open in June. The New York Times is reporting that Julie Taymor might be replaced, which I hope is not true: it’s her show. Hopefully, a compromise can be worked out to bring in collaborators…
…And then Charlie Sheen: who made an 11 minute appearance on UStream.tv tonight, looking and sounding worse than ever. Before the plug was pulled he ranted, raved, and sweated. Meantime, the Hollywood Reporter is saying that “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre has hired Howard Weitzman as his attorney. Warner Bros. lawyered up with John Spiegel. Sheen has Marty Singer, who’s famous for more bark than bite. But what’s clearer than ever is that Sheen has to be sacked by someone in his family or something truly tragic is going to happen. During the 11 minute show he sank out of camera sight and drank some liquid he called “tiger’s blood.” Trust me, it wasn’t Snapple.
Charlie Sheen 11 Minute Internet Broadcast: Drinking, Ranting, Sweating
Looking gaunt and sounding crazier than ever, Charlie Sheen is back on the internet. He went live on UStream at 10:07pm EST. “Are you recording this?” asked his first caller, who I think is Bob Maron, one of his sycophants. Sheen said he’s going to reach out to Jeff Bezos, head of Amazon.com. He wants him to publish his memoir, “Apocalypse Me: The Jaws of Life.” He wants the Book on Kindle to save trees. Sheen rants that people should “marry a tree.” “Marriage didn’t work for me, so marry a tree.” He’s upset about people calling in and interrupting him. And helicopters buzzing over head. “Notice how hell is in the word helicopter?” Basically, it’s the sad spiral down to the bottom of a man no one cares enough about to stop him from completely imploding. As I write this, the broadcast has now stopped. So maybe someone in that house did care enough to pull the plug.
Charlie Sheen: Conspicuous Silence Since Firing
Where is Charlie Sheen now? The news of his being fired from “Two and a Half Men” broke around 4pm EST. Since then, he hasn’t made a noise.Not even a Tweet. His last tweet was around the same time, 4pm, when he said he needed an intern. Earlier he’d responded to another tweet, saying “I invented Tulsa, OK…in my sleep.” Now, when all the word is waiting, there is silence. No silence from Warner Bros.’s lawyers, however. They hired powerhouse firm Munger, Tulles and Olsen. Attorney John W. Spiegel wrote Sheen’s lawyer, Marty Singer, a seven page missive that details all of Sheen’s antics for the last two years, recounts many specific quotes that Sheen himself probably doesn’t remember–gratuitous name calling rants that can’t be taken back, about CBS, Les Moonves, Chuck Lorre, everyone. The letter also observes that Warner TV chief Bruce Rosenblum and Les Moonves visited Sheen at home in February, and have bent over backwards to accommodate him even though 10 episodes of the show had been lost. Let’s face it: if anyone in a real job had done what Charlie Sheen had to their employer, they’d have been fired summarily long ago.
Charlie Sheen Fired by CBS: “They continue to be in breach, like so many whales”
Our long national nightmare is over. Charlie Sheen has been fired from “Two and a Half Men.”Here’s what Charlie supposedly said upon getting the news: “This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
Sheen’s weekend announcements that he and the show and creator Chuck Lorre were all going to get back together and smoke something– a peace pipe?– were just hallucinations. The show does not want him back. Assertions from “experts” that the show just made too much money to actually let Sheen stay were wrong. It didn’t seem possible that CBS or Warner Bros. (Les Moonves runs the former and used to run the latter) would bring Sheen back.
Frankly, from our polls on this site, and other opinions voiced elsewhere, CBS could easily replace Sheen and keep “Two and A Half Men” going–whether with John Stamos or half a dozen other actors who could be introduced as Jon Cryer’s cousin or an absent brother. They did it with Darren on “Bewitched”; it can be done. Now we wait for Sheen’s response–which should come quickly and loudly. So far his last Tweet was at 4pm EST; he’s looking for an intern.
Broadway Spider Man: Show May Avoid Tony Awards, Open in June
That March 15th opening for “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark”? It’s now called a “Hope-ening.” It will not be the official opening night, according to sources.
One source says every time the show doesn’t open they call it a “Faux-pening.”
Anyway, what I’m told is that “Spider Man” will simply not deal with the Tony Awards and their April 28th deadline. Instead, work is being done to rewrite the show as much as possible within its mechanical parameters.
“Bono and Edge are writing new songs,” says my source. They do, contrary to rumors, have some good songs already in “Rise Above,” “Say Now,” “Boy Falls From the Sky” and a couple of others. But between the songs and the story fixes, the show will not open officially until June–right around Tony time. This would be the fourth or fifth postponement, depending on who’s counting.
I am told that the feeling is that week to week the show is selling well enough ($1.55 mil last week.) that opening now, getting panned again, and then getting snubbed by the Tonys–which is likely–is worse than just staying the course and continuing to make improvements. I wrote on Saturday that the show has improved tremendously. Audiences enjoy it, and the aerial stuff is spectacular. (Now that it’s all working, it looks like fun.)Â Some changes have been made for the better, but my source says “many, many more” are coming.
PS Without “Spider Man,” the bumper crop of original musicals competing for the Tony would include “Catch Me If You Can,” “Baby It’s You,” “The People in the Picture,” “The Book of Mormon” and “Sister Act”–all opening between now and April 28th.
Julia Roberts A No Show for Ex Lovers’ Broadway Debuts
Will Julia Roberts show up tonight to see two of her ex lovers–Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric — debut all star revival of Jason Miller‘s “That Championship Season.” Roberts, who left Sutherland at the altar in 1991 to run off to Ireland with Patric, would really make for drama at the Bernard Jacobs Theater.
This production has maybe more drama backstage than onstage. Miller is dead, but his son, Jason Patric, is one of the stars. According to a Page Six item, he’s toting Miller’s ashes around with him in an urn on stage. (At least he’s not snorting them.) PS Patric’s maternal grandfather was Jackie Gleason, FYI. Any time I’ve ever asked Patric about Jackie, he’s brushed it off. So you see why there’s no press. (That, and what if Julia shows up? Wow.)
Patric, who’s not totally convincing as an alcoholic former basketball player, also has an interesting backstage story with this production. Sutherland was once set to marry Julia Roberts. A stage set at 20th Century Fox has been readied, invitations went out, it was all on. The date was June 14, 1991. Then, with three days to go, Julia canceled the wedding and ran off to Ireland with…Jason Patric. Really, who needs a play?
At Saturday afternoon’s matinee, the cast–Patric, Sutherland, Chris Noth, Jim Gaffigan, and Brian Cox were fine, although Cox is way beyond that. He is worth the whole ticket. Gaffigan, a TV actor and comedian in his Broadway debut, was very good. Chris Noth, playing Paul Sorvino’s old part (and that’s a “Law & Order” trivia question right there) is underused but makes a strong impact. Julia’s two exes are not so certain. A lot of the audience may be disappointed that Sutherland’s part is small. He doesn’t have much to do and he doesn’t do much with it. Patric’s alcoholic didn’t land a punch on Saturday, but he could grow into it.
The biggest problem is the play itself. Written in 1972, “TCS” is extremely anti-Semitic and racist. Back then, in the flush of “All in the Family” on TV, this seemed daring. Now frankly it’s obnoxious. We’ve grown, but the play hasn’t. I felt this way when I saw it in a different production a couple of summers ago at the Westport Country Playhouse. Cox’s character, the coach, is all Archie Bunker. Gaffigan is his disciple. Once you’ve warmed up to their bigotry and small mindedness, the actors are strong enough to pull you along. But the secondary characters–the former basketball players who may have cheated to get their famous high school win–pale by comparison.
UPDATE: In the end, Julia was a no-show. Sarah Jessica Parker,Robin Williams, Julianna Margulies, and Marg Helgenberger were the stars in the audience.
Mariah Carey: How Our Story Got Stolen By Everyone
Look back two days in this column and you’ll see a story about Mariah Carey. She told me was “naive” about performing for Muammar Ghaddafi’s son on New Year’s Eve 2008 in St. Bart’s. I reported exclusively that Mariah was donating all the money from a new song called “Save the Day” to human rights charities. She might even start a foundation–might. What happened next? Other websites–the ones Google said it was getting rid for simply repurposing the news–just lifted the whole thing. Many claimed Carey had sent them a statement directly. However, they all used my verbiage about Ghaddafi–“vicious, crazy.” The Hollywood Reporter just helped itself to it 24 hours later almost verbatim. Some outlets said they got their story from a statement on Carey’s website. None of them acknowledged that Carey’s webmaster had just reprinted my story–with credit. But this is how the internet works. And it doesn’t seem like the new Google algorithm worked very well weeding all these sites out. And PS, to the idiots who decided Carey was returning money she made in 2008: she ain’t. That’s some fiction you created on your own.