Even I don’t know what to say, so here it is: Sean Parker, the guy who destroyed the music business with Napster and then went on to help start Facebook, had this colossally nervy wedding in Big Sur. It resulted in all kinds of fines and donations to nature conservancies totaling $2.5 million. Now Vanity Fair has the story and pics from the Middle Earth bacchanal. Sting, as well as Edward Sharpe and the Magnetones, was hired to preform. (Ka ching!).

The guests included “friends” like Emma Watson, Olivia Munn, and Sean Lennon. Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg did not attend. Mark Seliger took portraits of the guests, which are very nice. The pictures of the setting are astonishing, and frankly the whole thing looks like “Lord of the Rings: Walmart Edition.” But it’s quite a scoop, and a tale of American Gatsby in 2013. www. vanityfair.com.

Now the Parkers and their baby settle into their $25 million carriage house in the middle of my block here in Greenwich Village, where their mega SUVs are the constant topic of conversation from neighbors who are dealing with alternative side of the street parking. Like? Follow?

Selena Gomez has her first number 1 album. It’s called “Stars Dance.” Her third album, it sold 95,514 copies– almost 20,000 more than her previous album. And that one had the single “Love You Like a Love Song.” which I really liked. In getting to number 1, Gomez knocked off Jay Z’s “Magna Carta.” She will get just this week at the top of the charts because Robin Thicke is going to be there next Monday with his “Blurred Lines” album. PS I have the “explicit” version and wish I had the clean one.

If you haven’t gotten in the Thicke of it yet, don’t wait: his album is superb, and merits a Grammy nomination for Album of the Year. I can’t stop listening to it, especially “Ain’t No Hat for That.” I do hope the Marvin Gaye estate is getting some money from the “Got to Give it Up” sample in the title track. But otherwise, “Blurred Lines” is a summer homerun.

Back to Selena: how the heck did she score number 1? Well, “reuniting” with Justin Bieber thrust her back into the spotlight coincidentally at just the right time. During Grammy time, Gomez wanted nothing to do with Bieber, and was out and about on her own.

You couldn’t blame her. She’s 21. He’s 19 and acts like 12. He spits on fans, spits at fans, is almost wallpapered with tattoos and can’t find the right sized clothes. Their sudden reunion seems like a marketing ploy. It worked. Hey, whatever works!

I wrote this night before last, but I see it got turned around elsewhere. So here’s the story: Yes, Lindsay Lohan was supposed to leave her 90 day rehab tomorrow, August 1st. But plans changed, and Lindsay comes back to New York on Saturday. She gets a few more days to spruce herself up. She’ll be in New York for a while, monitored by family, friends, and Oprah Winfrey’s documentary crew. Oprah’s people will be with her for 45 days. That way, says a source, it’s hoped she can’t get into too much trouble. Everyone is rooting for Lindsay to stay sober, get on the right track, and prove late director Robert Altman right about her acting talents. Last night, Ben Affleck’s publicist emailed me and said “everything you wrote is a lie and made up” about Lindsay “circling” Affleck’s new movie. Wow! I think he doth protest too much, don’t you?

Well, well. Everything is on YouTube, isn’t it? Thanks to many Michael Jackson fans, we learned that both of the demos Michael did with Freddie Mercury are already available in their original form. Who knew? (Apparently like half a million people.)

So here are they are. “There Must Be More to Life Than This” is ironic since both singers are no longer with us. That’s the song Queen wants to put out; Freddie wrote it. The estate says they’ll listen to a finished version and decide whether or not to grant permission.

“State of Shock,” belongs to the Jackson estate, which says it will not release it officially.

Eileen Brennan has passed away at age 80. It’s amazing that she lived that long, because her 1982 accident was so devastating. She and pal Goldie Hawn were leaving a restaurant in Venice, California when a car hit Brennan. She had so many serious injuries, and it took a long time to recover. The pain from the accident led to an addiction to painkillers. She also had to overcome breast cancer. As my grandmother used to say of some people, she had no luck.

But Brennan was such a popular star from 1970 to that moment. She’d been featured in Peter Bogdanovich’s “The Last Picture Show,” and went to be into more of his films– “Daisy Miller” and “At Long Last Love.” In 1973, she was again featured strongly in “The Sting” with Robert Redford and Paul Newman.

Then in 1980 came her watershed moment playing opposite Goldie in “Private Benjamin.” She received an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress and won a Golden Globe.

Even after the accident and recovery, Brennan worked constantly. She won an Emmy for the “Private Benjamin” TV series, and picked up six other Emmy nominations over the course of her career. She never stopped working, from stints on “Will & Grace” to “7th Heaven” and lots of other series.

But you always wondered, if she hadn’t been hit by that car– there certainly would have been more movie work. Her husky voice, a cool sensuality and a lot of smarts made her a very appealing presence on the screen. She was someone everyone looked forward to seeing on film. Eileen Brennan will be much missed but never forgotten.