The theme song for Pedro Almodovar’s latest creation should be “When A Man is a Woman.” The film, “The Skin I Live In,” should also be of interest to plastic surgeons and their patients all over the world. Wicked and twisted, the sci fi psychological thriller stars Antonio Banderas as doctor who makes those guys from “Nip/Tuck” look like kindly old Marcus Welby. Basically, the bad bad doc takes out a hideous revenge on his daughter’s presumed rapist. It’s sick and preposterous as only Banderas could maintain the suspended disbelief involved. Luckily Antonio and the beautiful Elena Ayana are terrific and sexy enough to make this tale work.
Cannes Film Festival Gets An Apology out of Von Trier
I just received this from the Festival:
The Festival de Cannes was disturbed about the statements made by Lars von Trier in his press conference this morning in Cannes. Therefore the Festival asked him to provide an explanation for his comments.
The director states that he let himself be egged on by a provocation. He presents his apology.
The direction of the Festival acknowledges this and is passing on Lars von Trier’s apology. The Festival is adamant that it would never allow the event to become the forum for such pronouncements on such subjects.
And here’s von Trier’s apology:
 “If I have hurt someone this morning by the words I said at the press conference, I sincerely apologize.
I am not antisemitic or racially prejudiced in any way, nor am I a nazi.” Lars von Trier
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What “Melancholia” Director Said About Being a Nazi, Making Porn
This is what Danish director Lars von Trier said at the Cannes press conference today for his movie “Melancholia.” Mind you, he said this after saying that maybe his movie was “crap.” He also went on and on about wanting to make a three to four hour porn movie with co-stars Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg. The whole thing was nuts. Two years ago, von Trier brought his “Anti Christ’ here, the worst and most offensive movie many people had ever seen.
“For a long time I was a Jew and I was happy to be a Jew, then I met Susanne Bier [Danish director and winner of Best Foreign Language Oscar and I wasn’t so happy. But then I found out I was actually a Nazi. My family was German. That also gave me pleasure. What can I say? I understand Hitler. I sympathize with him a bit.”
“I don’t mean I’m in favor of World War II and I’m not against Jews, not even Susanne Bier. In fact I’m very much in favor of them. All Jews. Well, Israel is a pain in the ass [pause] … How can I get out of this sentence? OK, I’m a Nazi.”
Cannes: Kirsten Dunst, Lars von Trier Nazi Slap
In Lars von Trier‘s meandering and melodramatic “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst faces marriage to a man she doesn’t like and the end of the world thanks to a rogue planet. Really two movies in one, “Melancholia” is funny, sweet and boring at the same time. Von Trier may be trying a meditation on the disintegration of the institution of marriage.
Or something. Denmark, his own country, is obviously too close to the sun. Von Trier has a little heat stroke. The actors are fine including Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, Alexander Skarsgaard and his real life father Stellan Skarsgaard. Von Trier says the film is about “a state of mind.” I’m not sure what state that is, or how audiences will react. At the press screening there was silence and muted applause at the conclusion. At least “Melancholia” is a huge improvement over von Trier’s regrettable “Anti Christ.”
And yes, this is the press conference that yours truly had to leave so I could go see “The Conquest,” the TV drama about Nicolas Sarkozy‘s political career. I did get to hear Von Trier say that his film might be crap. He was either stoned or drunk and very glib, making a lot of jokes. I was not present when he said he was a Nazi, and that “Israel is a problem.” The man is a troublemaker, so I don’t know if he’s actually anti Semitic or being inappropriately provocative. But his comments were stupid. Let’s hope he knows it.
Woody Allen, Elaine May Returning to Brway: We Said It First
Hello, there: Woody Allen is indeed returning to Broadway. I told you this news back on March 28th. Woody, Elaine May and Ethan Coen each have one act plays coming to Broadway. Woody, Elaine, and David Mamet did something similar years ago, called “Death Defying Acts.” The and AP WSJ say John Turturro is directing this time. But they don’t say that Marlo Thomas is starring in Elaine’s play, or that the original information came from this link:
http://www.showbiz411.com/2011/03/28/woody-allen-coen-brothers-elaine-may-plan-show-together
Elaine’s, the Famous Eatery, Will Close After 47 Years
I am sad to report that Elaine’s will close next Thursday after 47 years. Diane Becker, the manager who inherited the restaurant from my dear friend, Elaine Kaufman, called to give me the news this afternoon. Facing a long summer, Diane felt that she couldn’t make it without Elaine sitting in the dining room, greeting guests and friends every night. The closing will be a blow to the regulars, to the past customers, to the neighborhood on the way upper East Side. But restaurants so identified with their owners never survive for long without them. Toots Shor’s is a case in point. The ’21 Club’ goes on, but no one is really identified with it anymore. For the next week, Elaine’s will be like another sitting shivah– Elaine died on December 3rd. In three weeks, I will celebrate my own birthday for the first time in fifteen years somewhere else. Elaine’s now becomes an official part of New York history and lore, never ever to be forgotten.
PS A memorial service for Elaine was being planned and still is for late June. Details to come.
Brad Pitt’s Director Snubs Cannes Premiere, Murdoch, Even Angelina Jolie
Terrence Malick, director of “The Tree of Life,” his stars do the walking and talking yesterday. Malick skipped both the red carpet premiere and the press conference for his movie, letting Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, and Jessica Chastain fill in for him. Not only did Malick abandon his stars, he also snubbed Rupert Murdoch and his wife Wendi, and Fox chief Jim Gianopolous.  That takes nerve, doesn’t it?
Although god knows what Murdoch was thinking as “Tree of Life” unspooled before the black tie audience. I’m sure he was relieved that the film– which also sports “Jurassic Park” like dinosaurs—Â was mostly paid for by producer Bill Pohlad. The two hour twenty minute extravaganza is totally incoherent, with lots of stuff unexplained and long sections of gorgeous nature video-photography created by computers juxtaposed with the impressionistic story of a Texas family circa 1959.
I went back and watched “Tree of Life” again last night to try and figure out some things I thought I’d missed the first time around. It didn’t matter. The movie makes no actual sense. At the very start, Pitt and Chastain receive news that one of their three sons has died. But in the movie, we only see the boys as children. Later, Sean Penn–who plays the eldest son as an adult–remarks that his brother died at 19. In that first scene, the death news comes in a telegram. But we –the audience–never finds out how or why he’s died. Was it in a war?
So I asked Jessica Chastain who we ran into at dinner after the premiere. Chastain had changed from her gown into jeans, and was obviously not hobnobbing with Brad, Angelina–who stopped the show on the red carpet a few hours earlier, literally, with gasps, Sean Penn or maybe even Malick (he had to eat didn’t he?). I asked Jessica who died, and why? “Well you don’t know this but he died in Mexico,” she said. She told me it was the second son, and that he was the favorite. Who knew? Ah ha! I do hope Fox releases back story notes for use during viewing of the film.
You do have to watch “Tree of Life” twice. I’ll tell you why: in the first half, Malick flashes split second clips from later in the film. The problem is, you have no idea what they mean; you even sort of don’t acknowledge them because they go by so quickly. On the second viewing, you recognize these images from the previous viewing. Also, there are dinosaurs. Yes, dinosaurs.
Here’s my tip for Rupert and Fox: take out all the nature stuff and release it as a separate IMAX film. That’s where you’ll make the money back. Call it “Malick’s Universe.” Or, to make it easier, “Days of Heaven II.”
Jane Fonda Steals the Night at Naomi Campbell-Japan Fashion Show
Naomi Campbell has a rocky history in the press for a number of crazy things. But she more than made up for it last night in Cannes. Naomi staged an all star Fashion-for-Japan runway show right in the middle of Cannes to benefit survivors of the earthquake and tsunami. And, thanks to a quick last minute idea from mega publicist Peggy Siegal, Naomi convinced Jane Fonda to be the surprise star of the show.
A stunning Fonda –who’s been the belle of the Cannes ball all week as a spokeswoman for L’Oreal– appeared on the runway in a dazzling Marquesa beaded gown after dozens of celebrity models and actresses, including Rosario Dawson, had strutted their stuff. Fonda’s appearance had been kept a state secret. But when she stepped out onto the red runway, entire audience–from Harvey Weinstein and his designer wife Georgia Chapman, to Denise Rich, Ron Burkle, and hundreds of well known faces–all jumped up at once and started applauding. Fonda’s boyfriend, famed record producer Richard Perry, shot the whole thing on his IPhone.
The only other stars to come close were super model Karolina Kurklova and Grace Hightower DeNiro–the latter in a zillion dollar Chopard necklace and slinky Armani gown that Robert DeNiro’s going to want to buy for her when he sees the pictures! As for Jane, when she turned to walk back, Harvey Weinstein pointed to Chapman with a big grin, and mouthed to Fonda: “This is the designer!”
Coincidentally there’s some talk here of Fonda joining a Weinstein film in development. If it works out, expect Jane — who’s also got Bruce Beresford’s “Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding” coming out this fall–to be back in the Oscar business. She already has two of the gold statues at home.
PS Congrats to Naomi–she raised over $1 million with the help of Chopard, Vogue and Westfield malls.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Admits Love Child: A Life of Lies Exposed
Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted to fathering a child with a woman other than his now estranged wife, Maria Shriver. The story is in the Los Angeles Times today. They’ve been working on it for years, too. The terrible part of it is that the child is now 10 years old, and that Arnold kept the lie this whole time.
But not completely: in 2003, the Times, Matt Drudge, and the National Enquirer were all reporting this story. A woman named Tammy Baker Tousignant is named all over the internet as a former flight attendant who had Arnold’s baby. She was not his only extranarital affair. In the late 90s, Premiere magazine named two other women– actress Rachel Ticotin and a long time affair with a woman named Gigi Goyette.
In 2005, the LA Times and the Washington Post reported that the Enquirer’s owner, David Pecker, a friend of Schwarzeneggger, had paid Goyette to keep her mouth shut about their 20 year fling so he could run for governor. Stories about Schwarzenegger’s affairs, the illegitimate child, and groping of women have been in the press for years.
It’s not like Maria Shriver didn’t know what was going on. The question is why she put up with it for so long, and why she kept her mouth shut while Arnold became of the governor of California. The sitting governor, Gray Davis, was ousted and humiliated–all for this.
I’m sorry to say that the Kennedys’ history of sex and lies continues into this generation almost completely. They used to call it the Kennedy curse. But maybe it’s just genetics. Some families have a legacy of large ears, or freckles. The Kennedys’ whole story is now about forsaking personal integrity in order to retain political power.
In her 2000 book, “Ten Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out in the World.” Shriver writes: “to my wonderfully unique husband, Arnold. I thank you for the most fascinating adventure a gal could sign on for. If I’d known what a work out it was going to be, I wouldhave gotten in better shape way back when.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/12/AR2005081201651.html
Terrence Malick’s Moody “Tree of Life” Stars Brad Pitt
Terrence Malick’s “Tree of Life” is a long slow meditation on life, philosophy, death, the galaxy, cosmos, and suburban life in the nineteen fifties. It’s been on the shelf for two years, perhaps hoping to mature like a fine wine. But while beautiful to look at, the film is frustratingly incoherent. Malick may be exploring themes from his youth including an abusive father. But he’s done it more through vivid imagery than actual script, story or dialogue. There are long stretches of National Geographic type videos and moody renderings of Texas. Malick recreates the big bang, Genesis, and a few operas. Brad Pitt is evocative, Sean Penn is wasted, and like Jessica Chastain has almost no dialogue. Much of Tree of Life is a mystery. Malick as we know works in mysterious ways. That “Tree of Life” gets a commercial release I think is important, though. This will not be a blockbuster. But in many ways it’s a work of art and may take time to appreciate. American filmmakers are rarely allowed to do this so bravo to Fox Searchlight. I do wish the movie had a stronger narrative. But that’s the director’s choice. Malick does include my favorite piece of music, “Die Moldau” by Smetana. So that’s something. Meantime the director is AWOL from his own press conference, unfortunately.