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“Ted 2” Opens $7 Mil Short of Original on Opening Night; Wahlberg Found it “Unbear-able”

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“Ted 2” is not a hit. Last night the sequel to the original Seth MacFarlane movie opened $7 million short of the original at $13.2 mil. The first movie did over $20 mil on its opening night. This spells disaster for the opening weekend.

The thrill is gone. “Ted 2” was universally panned. Its first twenty minutes are funny enough, but the middle of the movie is a muddle. And it’s racist, misogynistic, and deeply dark. Not an easy sell to women.

Mark Wahlberg must have found it “un-bearable” on opening night. He didn’t stay at the Ziegfeld and he never showed at the fancy after party at the Central Park Boathouse. A source said Wahlberg had his own private party. Everyone else showed up, however, including Liam Neeson, but of course he lives basically across the street. He has one cameo in the film.

Sequels to quirky hit comedies are tough deals. It’s really best not to make them. But the lure of the money is too much for the participants to pass up. “Sex and the City” is a case in point. “American Graffiti” even had one. All not to be mentioned again. The second “Legally Blonde.” Or “Miss Congeniality.” You’re basically remaking the first movie, and the novelty is gone. No one remembers “Airplane 2” fondly. We are currently facing down “Magic Mike XXL.” And so on.

Meantime, Disney and Universal are having big summers. Warners has the best action movie in ages with “Mad Max: Fury Road.” Fox has done very well with “Home” and “Kingsman.” There are always little bumps in the road. “Ted 2” shall pass. But if you see it– look for the “Beetlejuice” joke. I loved it. (And PS this is why you don’t remake ”

Paris Jackson’s Touching Twitter Tribute to Her Dad, Michael Jackson

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Paris Jackson keeps impressing and being a mensch even with crazy tabloid stories of her impending “wedding” or “pregnancy.” How she stays sane is a miracle.

Yesterday the 17 year posted two Tweets on the 6th anniversary of the death of her dad, Michael Jackson. The Tweets were read to me by one of her followers. One read: “this is the day I lost you. I know you’re in a better place now but I miss you so much. I just want you to know I love you so much”

the other read: “I still remember that goodbye hug he gave me before he left for rehearsal”

Michael Jackson did something right with his three kids. Everyone made fun of him for putting them in masks, etc. But the kids are all right. Prince is going to college in the fall, Blanket has changed his name to “Biji.” This is Paris’s last year of high school– she’s a musician and an artist and very stylish. She’s going to do fine.

Bad Vibrations: Brian Wilson Cancels UK Tour Citing Success of Movie, But “Love & Mercy” Is a Flop

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Famed Beach Boy Brian Wilson just cancelled his tour of the UK this fall. He cited the success of his movie “Love and Mercy” as the reason.

Someone wrote on his website: “Due to the overwhelming success of Brian Wilson’s movie ‘Love and Mercy’ which has opened in the US to critical acclaim, Brian has had to postpone his current UK tour planned for September 2015 due to commitments in the US. He will be back in the UK and Europe in 2016 with a string of concerts to mark the 50th Anniversary of his seminal album ‘Pet Sounds, which will be his final European tour’.”

Huh? “Love and Mercy” may be on DVD by September. It’s over in theaters after less than a month. Bill Pohlad made a terrific film. But Roadside Attractions destroyed it. So far the box office is around $7.6 million. The film is making less money since it expanded its release by 200 theaters to just less than 800. The daily take is miserable. This should be its last week in general release.

Someone better tell Brian that sticking around the US for “Love and Mercy” related activities is going to be a lonesome enterprise. Unless of course tickets weren’t selling. But that’s hard to believe since Brian Wilson is one of the great rock icons. Seeing him live is always a treat.

Bobbi Kristina’s Final Tweets Showed Huge Trouble in Nick Gordon Relationship

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Just before Bobbi Kristina Brown was found face down and unresponsive in a bathtub she was very active on Twitter. She wasn’t happy with Nick Gordon. She may have provoked her boyfriend with Tweets about actor Jake Gyllenhaal, about whom she was fantasizing:

It’s also not clear what was going on between Bobbi Kristina and Nick. She posted this shortly before her accident. It reads: “Do you know what I absolutely fucking hate? When people choose a person over you and then when they have no oneelse they come running back to you”

Yesterday, Bobbi Kristina’s conservator filed a $10 million lawsuit against Gordon alleging that he beat her and stole money from her. The suit was filed by Greenberg Traurig, the best law firm in Atlanta. These people mean business. If they can get Gordon to a deposition, they may find the truth of what happened to Bobbi Kristina. Knowing Greenberg Traurig, they’ll pull out all the stops.

Ready Steady Go: Spielberg’s Ready Player One Set for March 2016 Start

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Here we go: I’m told that Steven Spielberg’s much anticipated “Ready Player One” has a start date of March 2016.

This is the video game movie based on the best selling book of the same name that Spielberg is doing for Warner Bros. Zak Penn has adapted the novel for screenplay that tells the story of Wade Watts, a movie buff and video game expert.

A casting call has gone out for Wade, described as “male, Caucasian, clean cut with a sense of
humor, 18-19 yrs old, overweight or underweight. A sincere and passionate player in the Oasis. Not the most confident guy outside the Oasis, but Wade gains boldness and nerve as his worlds collide. He uses his skills and the support of his friends to rise above each challenge.”

Caucasian? I’ll bet Spielberg will entertain actors of all races.

Also set to be cast are Helen, who is 18, “a heavyset African American girl, a little butch. She’s a technological wiz with computers and cars.” She sounds like a young Gabby Sidibe. Imagine- we’re now looking for the new Gabby!

Other characters include Artemis, a young woman who is either Caucasian or Asian, Early 20s.
Confident, appealing and tough, energetic snappy personality, her Avatar and real life personae are similar. A very well known player in the Oasis, she leads her own clan of gunters, but joins with Wade and the others to complete the ultimate competition.
Shoto– a thirteen year old Chinese boy described as “hip and knowing” for his age.
And Dato– A twenty year old young Japanese man who does not speak English. He’s one of Wade’s friends in the Oasis who joins with him to complete the competition. All the actors have to be bilingual.
“Ready Player One” sounds like a blockbuster. But we won’t see it until 2017 at the earliest, at which point movies will be played on tiny chips embedded behind our ears.

Happy Birthday Carly Simon– 70 Years Young Today, and Still Not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

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Carly Simon, one of the great singer songwriters of all time, turns 70 years young today. Is this possible? Carly, the smart man’s sex symbol of the actual 70s, is still not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite more than a dozen hits and even more album tracks that have stood the test of time. The most famous of course is “You’re So Vain,” produced by Richard Perry, with vocals by Mick Jagger:

 

There are plenty more hits including You Belong to Me:

and an Oscar for “Let the River Run” from “Working Girl”:

also one of the most popular of all the James Bond theme songs, “Nobody Does it Better”:

Carly’s brutally honest and poetic lyrics established what became known as “confessional” songwriting in pop. Her buttery rich vocals often underscored the pain or yearning of the songs. And no matter how incisive the lyrics, the melodies are always haunting and memorable. When it comes to writing a hook, nobody does it better.

Why isn’t she in the Rock Hall? It’s just another of their transgressions. But I do hope “oldies” and “adult” radio will make a day of it today, and put “Anticipation.” or “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heart it Should Be,” or “Coming Around Again” on their playlists and celebrate Simon’s birthday. What’s she working on now? Finishing her memoirs, which should be out in 2016, and an album of her songs sung by other singers.

Happy Birthday Carly!

PS There was never anyone anywhere in the media named “Carly” before Carly Simon. From Carly Rae Jepsen to all the Carly’s on TV, they were all named for the one and only Ms. Simon, I assure you.

Watch this clip of Carly acting in “Perfect”– and yes, that chub face is Jann Wenner, who runs the Rock Hall:

Ted 2: Justin Bieber Ambushed, the Kitchen Sink, and Two Tired Hours of Raunch

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No one and nothing is safe in Ted 2, a rerun of Ted 1 that tries to get serious and then gives up. Ted is a stuffed teddy bear which was brought to life in Ted 1 and voiced by Seth McFarlane. Ted’s owner is John Bennett, played by Mark Wahlberg. In Ted 1, John had a girlfriend named Lori, who objected to Ted coming between them.

Now Lori is gone– she and John have divorced– and Ted is improbably marrying the local cream puff. Broadway’s Rob Ashford stages a complete Busby Berkley musical at the start of Ted 2 that is really the highlight (albeit a few odd moments) of a movie that starts with promise, wanders in the desert of no ideas, and then comes to an end without a moment to spare.

Ted and John have charm to spare, and use it in the first third of Ted 2. McFarlane poses an interesting idea: is Ted a person? He has a wife, a job, and wants a baby. But he’s a stuffed animal. All right, he’s animated.

Wahlberg does something intriguing here: he plays the second banana to Ted. Ted 2 is about the bear. John is incidental. So Wahlberg commits to being his loser friend who blew his marriage and now supports a teddy bear. Wahlberg goes from leading man to supporting character. He’s so good at it, I kept wanting Ted 2 to become something.

There are some funny recurring riffs. The best is that Amanda Seyfried takes on Ted’s case as his lawyer who has no clue about contemporary culture. This makes for fun. But Seyfried must be the best good sport in the world. The script gets laughs by comparing her beautiful looks and huge eyes to Gollum, the bug eyed monster from Lord of the Rings. It’s to Seyfried’s credit that she went along with this. She’s destined for bigger and better things.

Raunchy and black-humored, Ted 2 is meant to be irreverent and over the top. These ambitions are achieved. There is foulness at every turn. I really enjoyed that for about twenty minutes. But then you begin questioning where we’re going — is there a point? Can it be sustained? Seth MacFarlane is no dummy. But Ted 1 was a finite idea. Making a sequel exposes the idea as shallow and throwaway. Too much is too much.

Universal doesn’t need to care about Ted 2. Jurassic World is such a hit they can drop this and get away with it. Last night’s premiere at the Ziegfeld was notable for being a little weird and starting very late. Anyone can have an off night, and this was it. Universal has bigger fish to fry this year.

As for Justin Bieber, he’s listed in a sequence including Bill Cosby of people who MacFarlane thought would get booed by the audience just at the mention of their names. It didn’t quite work.

On the upside, you will learn more about marijuana, how to smoke it and grow it, then you ever needed. Extended  cameos from Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, John Slattery, and a longish but welcome scene with Nana Visitor, of “Star Trek” and “Ryan’s Hope” fame.

Houstons and Browns Saying Goodbye to Whitney and Bobby’s Daughter, Bobbi Kristina

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What a terrible end to this story. Reports are that the Houston and Brown families have placed Bobbi Kristina in hospice care. It’s only a matter of time before she passes away. At least this way, she will be comfortable. But what a tragedy– to lose her mother so young, and then not to get to have a life. Condolences to both families, especially to Cissy Houston.

It’s not an overstatement that fame and money have not given this family a moment of happiness. Now it will be interesting to see who gets what out of Whitney Houston’s estate. It’s the Houstons’ money, and they should control her intellectual property rights. But who knows how that will play out. My guess is: badly.

 

Micky Dolenz Turns 70: Monkee See, Monkee Do For Three Shows in NYC Next Month

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I had dinner with Micky Dolenz tonight. If you’re 12, this would be if you dined with Harry Styles many decades from now. Do you get what I’m saying? Micky, Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith and Peter Tork are the Monkees forever, the One Direction of 1967.

Micky wears a Panama hat to hide “a little bit of a bald spot.” He’s 70, and has four grown kids. But the Monkee never leaves him. Before the Monkees he was a child star. Since the Monkees he’s performed in Broadway shows and in London’s West End.

So 54 Below — the hot club under Studio 54/Roundabout Theater— asked Micky to come play three shows in July (7th,10th, 11th), and the place is pretty much sold out already. He’s got a crack Broadway combo, and he’s going to sing show tunes as well as Monkees hits that are appropriate to a club setting. Later, on August 29th, he, and Tork will do a rare Monkees show at Westbury Music Fair.

I’m in, I’m in for all of it. Apparently a lot of other people are, too.

Micky, trained as a classical guitarist, sang lead on most of the Monkees big hits–like my favorite, “A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You,” plus “I’m a Believer,” “Last Train to Clarksville,” “Pleasant Valley Sunday,” and so on. He still gets royalties from record/CD/digital sales, he tells me, but not much. And nothing from reruns of the Monkees landmark TV series, which he describes– aptly– as little Marx Bros. type movies.

He’s not mad about the Monkees not being in the Rock Hall, by the way. “We got the Emmy for Best Comedy on TV,” he reminds me, “and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That’s what I love. I don’t think about the Rock hall.”

The Monkees were famous for defying their own status. Cast to a band on a TV show, they turned out to be an actual band. The famous “Wrecking Crew” played on their records, but Micky, Mike, Peter, and Davy played and sang for real on the records.

“Some people didn’t want to believe it at the time,” he said.

And now it’s 50 years since his agent answered the ad Bert Schneider and Bob Rafelson placed in Variety looking for band members for a TV show. And we’re still talking about it. Plus, a CD of Micky’s post Monkees singles is just being released. It’s worth checking out.

Meantime, I’m looking forward to the 54Below shows– Micky will tell some tales of rock superstardom that we haven’t heard. Plus he can sing, sing, sing.

 

 

Violent Ex-Con Rapper Rick Ross Strikes Again: Arrested for Kidnapping, Pistol Whipping

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Rick Ross, one of the more violent and anti-social rappers with millions of dollars, was arrested today in Georgia. According to TMZ, the charges are kidnapping, aggravated assault, and aggravated battery.

Just two weeks ago, Ross was pulled over in his Bentley because his windows were tinted too dark. The car reeked of pot and he was arrested.

I’m not kidding. His Bentley. Stupid kids have given him so much money that that’s his drive.

A convicted drug trafficker, Ross has a long history with the law. It’s unclear how he can still be in public.

Five years ago I wrote about him when Ross was made to pay $300,000 to a blogger he and his crew savagely attacked. Ross was angry the blogger had revealed he’d once been a corrections officer. The blogger’s injuries included a broken eye socket, a broken nose, nerve damage to his face, cheek, upper lip, teeth and gums.

Nice.

Ironically, Ross is besties with Sean Puff Daddy Combs, who was arrested Monday in Los Angeles for allegedly attacking his son’s football coach at UCLA with a kettle bell. Back in 1999, Combs attacked Steve Stoute, a rival record company exec, by hitting him repeatedly with a Champagne bottle. In 2010, Combs became Ross’s manager and close pal.

The Combs story is worse because he’s very smart. After the Stoute incident, he attended a mandatory one day anger management class.  That was the same year– 1999– when he and Jennifer Lopez were involved in a shoot out in a New York nightclub. His lackey wound up going to jail. Combs has since become the wealthiest of all hip hop and rap stars through clever marketing deals with companies like Ciroc Vodka.