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You look at his dull, bloated face slathered in some kind polyurethane and think, What else can he do to harm us?
Now Donald Trump, determined to cut world culture off from us and vice versa, has found a new lunatic scheme.
He’s going to put a tariff on all films made outside the United States. He’s obviously not voting in Best International Feature. His rationale is that “Hollywood is dying,” which it’s not.
But maybe his Hollywood ambassadors — or imbeciles — Mel Gibson, Jon Voight, and Sylvester Stallone — have convinced him this is their diplomatic duty.
Gibson should be thrilled. His “Passion of the Christ 2” is reportedly going to shoot at Rome’s Cinecittà Studios. Additional filming locations will include ancient Southern Italian towns like Matera, Ginosa, Gravina Laterza, and Altamura. Other reported locations include Malta, Israel, and Morocco.
Has anyone told Trump that “Passion 2” will need a tariff, according to his plan?
Trump is a buffoon who posts first, and never thinks later. But imagine that phone call from Mel right now. Or from Trump’s other buddies like Dennis Quaid, Vince Vaughn, and so on?
One segment is on freezing the biological clock, with Lesley Stahl.
But it’s Scott Pelley”s report on “The Rule of Law” that will cause a stir.
This will be a searing look at Donald Trump’s major court loss this week. On Friday a federal judge permanently blocked President Trump’s executive order that targeted the law firm Perkins Coie, ruling the order was unconstitutional.
U.S. District Judge Beryl Howell, an Obama appointee, issued a permanent injunction barring the enforcement of any part of Trump’s order from March, which focused on the firm’s representation of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and its work with billionaire donor George Soros.
The judge wrote: “No American President has ever before issued executive orders like the one at issue in this lawsuit targeting a prominent law firm with adverse actions to be executed by all Executive branch agencies but, in purpose and effect, this action draws from a playbook as old as Shakespeare, who penned the phrase: ‘The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.'”
She said Trump’s order — another step in his vendetta against the government, and all of us, “violates the Constitution and is thus null and void.”
The judge’s order comes as many major law firms in got so scared of Trump that they started making onerous deals with him to avoid retaliation. Paul Weiss Rifkind and Skadden Arps are among them, causing backlash within the legal community. A protest letter was signed by dozens of the latter firm’s alumni.
Pelley will not quit investigating the corruption of the Trump government despite the ousting of the show’s executive producer — and his producer — Bill Owens. Pelley offered a seething commentary on the show last week against Paramount and owner Shari Redstone.
Redstone had reportedly complained that “60 Minutes” — currently being sued by Trump — was supposed to let her know about sensitive segments. (Pelley had just previously had a headline making interview with Ukraine president Zelensky.) It’s hard to believe she doesn’t know about tonight’s segment. The values of CBS — called the Tiffany network — and “60 Minutes” — the gold standard in news — must be upheld. Otherwise, we are cooked.
PS Scott Pelley rocks. His pieces are so well written you can listen to them on the radio and feel completely drawn in. He wasn’t appreciated when he was the anchor of “CBS Evening News.”
Netflix has just dropped its Mark Twain Prize special for Conan O’Brien. There were no press links in advance and this is why: the 90 minute show is a brutal and brilliant roast of Donald Trump.
Since Conan accepted the prize before Trump announced he was taking over the Kennedy Center there was speculation this special would be heavily edited. It’s very well edited, but no one holds back eviscerating Trump and is administration. One comic says it’s probably “the last Mark Twain prize.” David Letterman invokes “the resistance.”
There’s a Murderer’s Row of A list comics starting Robert Smigel and his Triumph the Insult Dog, the night’s narrator. Then John Mulaney has a blistering opening, calling the Kennedy Center “the Roy Cohen Pavilion for Big Strong, Men Who Love ‘Cats’.” Immediately we know where we’re going.
Some of the more vicious comments come from Sarah Silverman, who jokes she liked it when Conan was “America’s only orange asshole.” She adds that “The guy who took over loves grabbing pussy.”
Silverman, the sweetest dirty comic ever, is outdone in the mildly filthy department by Adam Sander, has unprintable things to say about Conan’s freckled anatomy.
The only way out of this when Trump hears about it today is to say he “let” O’Brien and co have one last rodeo. But that’s not going to work. This special is a rare moment to let everyone who’s endured the last 100 days finally blow off steam and feel like a weight has been lifted.
The rest of the all-Star cast also includes David Letterman, Stephen Colbert, Conan sidekick Andy Richter, Bill Burr, Tracy Morgan, Kumail Nanjiani, plus Paul Rudd, and Fred Armisen sending up Conan’s matriculation at Harvard, Trump’s sworn enemy. Nikki Glaser, who’s having quite a year, introduces an O’Brien character, The Interrupter, who’s revealed as a member of the Trump cabinet (spoiler not here).
And don’t worry, the whole show starts with something Trump will secretly love but claim to hate, the Masturbating Bear. (The Bear dances around the stage vividly.)
I’d been asking people involved in the production if any censoring of material was going on backstage. It doesn’t seem like it, although maybe one day we’ll see the outtakes. Netflix has been brave (yes, I said it) in letting this rip, the result will be Emmy nominations and maybe some wins. Stay til the end for a terrific musical finale featuring O’Brien on electric guitar playing a song Trump tried to coop during his campaigns.
PS Leave the closed captions on. One of the comics mangles a word, but the caption writer interpreted it as “Dissension.” And they say there no coincidences!
Marvel’s “Thunderbolts*” had a pretty good Thurs-Fri opening night.
The result is that the Avengers are back, or at least the New Avengers.
With a total opening of $31 million, “Thunderbolts” will pick up another $40-or-$50 million Saturday and Sunday.
***********SPOILERS*********
Why the asterisk, you might ask? Not to give it away, but “Thunderbolts” is actually not the title of the movie. Go to theater to find out what’s going on. Avengers fans won’t be disappointed.
So there’s life in this thing after all. Looks like “Thunderbolts*” is not only a hit but a clever, meta idea that should whet the appetites of Avengers fans for the next trilogy with Dr. Doom and pals.
The other big story, of course, is that “Sinners” continues to be sold out and a total smash hit. I have a question, though. Why is the main character named Sammy Moore? Set in Memphis among R&B and blues, it would seem to be a tribute to the late Sam Moore of Sam & Dave. Maybe someone who knows Ryan Coogler can ask him. (I haven’t seen him since “Fruitvale Station.”)
No box office report for “Rust,” Alec Baldwin’s unfortunate movie. It’s only in a handful of theaters, and no one’s going anyway. Tell me again why they finished this movie.
Voluble, entertaining, and soimetimes concerning Jack Schlossberg has gone MIA from social media.
The JFK grandson, who posts many times a day on both Instagram and Twitter (X), hasn’t said a word since Thursday.
Actually, that post was an odd one, in which he misspelled the name of Yankee great Lou Gehrig, and never corrected it. Gehrig appeared because Jack quoted him: Lou GHERIG said “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth” SAME !! Why ? Great parents and friends, and my good health.
This Tweet sounds like a lot like Holden Caulfield and not at all the acerbic wit and biting commentary we are used to from Schlossberg.
Prior to that, Jack had posted on April 28th on both his platforms.
The grandson of our much mourned president, John F. Kennedy, wrote: LETS INVESTIGATE ALL THE ASSASSINATION PLOTS EXCEPT !!! NOT THE ONE WE STAGED LAST SUMMER”
Over on Instagram, Jack’s last was a picture of JD Vance over a plate of pasta under melting butter. He wrote: NOODLES WITH BUTTER — JD’s spirit animal
Why? Who knows?
Jack is either on a mental health break from socials, or he’s prepping his costume for Monday night’s Met Gala. He’s previously said he was boycotting the Gala, telling Anna Wintour this isn’t the time for it. Will he show up as a dandy? Even without a ticket, no one will turn him away. Now, that would be entertaining!
Donald Trump is mocking Catholics, the Vatican, and the Pope.
He posted a photo shopped picture of himself dressed as a pope, on his Truth Social.
And on the official White House account on Elon Musk’s X!
I guess his base won’t find this disrespectful to the Pontiff.
It’s Trump himself posting it, not jerks on the internet or kids or whatever.
This week, Trump was the only dignitary to wear not a black suit but a blue one that glowed under the sun in the outside funeral of Pope Francis. He looked like a fool trying to get attention at an incredibly serious moment in history.
It’s Suzanne Vega. The New York rock-pop-folk star has dropped her first album in 10 years. It’s full of hits, of course.
Vega came to us in the mid 80s after the Carly-Carole-Joni era. She was a very astute heir to the female singer songwriter genre, and she really lasted. Now she’s a prototype for Taylor-Billie-Lana and all the new players in the field.
Among Suzanne’s hits were the immortal, “Luka,” plus “Marlene on the Wall.” And she wrote “Tom’s Diner,” such a transcendent record that it became one of the most sampled records of all time.
At one point, a compilation of “Tom’s Diner” covers was released to acclaim. It included the “Tom’s Diner” version of the “I Dream of Jeannie” theme song.
Suzanne’s last album came in 2014, so the new “Flying with Angels” is a pleasant surprise. About a year ago she told me at a dinner that “FLying” was on its way. What she didn’t tell me is that it would lead with the hilarious rockin’ punk neo-B52s “Rats,” which deserves to be a cult hit, especially in New York.
“Flying” is so rich with great songs that the next single, “Chambermaid,” interpolating Bob Dylan’s “I Want You,” is just a beginning. I’m already in love with “Alley,” “Galway,” and “Lucinda.” This is not a quiet collection. It’s a happily noisy reclaiming of a crown.
SATURDAY UPDATE: “Where Have You Been” shot up to number 2 on iTunes. So we’ll wait and see what happens. If anyone knows who plays the guitar solo, let me know at showbiz411@gmail.com
FRIDAY: Kelly Clarkson should not quit her day job.
Her new single, which she says she wrote, is a disaster. It’s un-singable, which is funny since Clarkson can sing anything better than almost anyone.
But “Where Have You Been?” is DOA, number 33 on iTunes. There’s no chance of anyone streaming it.
Clarkson says it’s based on a line Martin Short says to Meryl Streep in “Only Murders in the Building.” But if he said it without rhyme, conviction, or passion, Meryl would have made him Sophie’s Choice.
Kelly is a great singer but she is not a songwriter. Her best songs were written by others. The ones she insisted on authoring wrecked her recording career.
She keeps saying she wants to quit her talk show. But Kelly doesn’t realize that without astute producers, managers, A&R people she doesn’t have a chance of competing against contemporary performers.
What Clarkson does especially well is sing cover songs on her show. She should record 15 of those, live, and put out an album. Make a Linda Ronstadt tribute album, for god’s sake.
Where has this song been? No one cares. It’s a slog without a melody, hook, or chorus. Then there’s big solo guitar break that comes out of nowhere. Nowhere!
I couldn’t find any credits for this song, but on YouTube there are a dozen or so names involved. If it took a dozen people to make this record, it would have taken 1 million to build the pyramids.
The first casualty of the Tony Awards has arrived.
“Redwood,” a musical starring Idina Menzel, will shutter on May 18th.
“Redwood” had mixed to poor reviews. It received not one Tony Award nomination, which is a death knell for an original musical.
“Redwood” will be the first of many to close up shop without awards recognition. “Old Friends,” the Stephen Sondheim revue, and “The Last Five Years,” with Adrienne Warren and Nick Jonas are on the chopping block as well.
Another show that didn’t get much love include “Smash,” which was based on the NBC TV show. No one knows how “Smash” even got to Broadway in the first place.
The big ticket shows “Othello” and “Glengarry Glen Ross” are set to close anyway. The former won’t even make it to the Tony Awards on June 8th. The latter goes to June 28th.
George Clooney’s “Good Night and Good Luck” also closes June 8th after the matinee.
Every year this happens, and it’s frustrating for all the people involved.
In the cases of these $900 a ticket shows, scheduling short runs that expire on the day of the Tony Awards certainly sends a message that the producers don’t care one way or another. The ticket price is also an affront to the Tony committee.
Regal Cinemas has released a video of its popcorn bucket for “Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning.”
Is there a spoiler here?
Two keys, shaped as crosses, are needed to unlock some kind of box, or explosive device, or who knows?
But the crosses, including the indented blue cross between them, seem to indicate Christianity perhaps.
Interesting since Tom Cruise is a member of the Scientology cult, and disavows conventional religions. I doubt he’s leaving the cult, but he did come up with the movie’s story.
Keys can be shaped in many ways. Most are not in the mold of crosses. So it’s not a coincidence. And whatever the outcome of unlocking the device, it can only be done by the two keys fitting together.
Cruise was raised Catholic, was baptized, and thought about becoming a priest. That was a long time ago. After he joined Scientology, he even induced his mother and sisters to jump into the cult.
Stay tuned…
A look at the ‘MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING’ popcorn bucket for Regal Cinemas. pic.twitter.com/YDffJRiCoF
