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“SNL” Season 46 Premiere Up a Whopping 89% Over Last Year with Chris Rock, Megan Thee Stallion and Pent-Up Fans

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“Saturday Night Live” returned last night for its 46th year and scored a whopping 7.77 million total viewers.

How big is that? It’s up 89% from last year’s premiere with Woody Harrelson, which had 4.1 million viewers. That’s the average for last season, 4 million fans per show, with the exception of Eddie Murphy’s now Emmy winning hosting night. That was an event, and the result was 163 million viewers in a show that also featured Lizzo.

This year’s Lizzo, Megan Thee Stallion, was the musical guest last night with Chris Rock as host. They were each excellent, and Megan was on point politically. Her production was top notch.

It wasn’t a great show, though. The cold open was too long. Jim Carrey has to find his Joe Biden; I prefer Jason Sudeikis. The first couple of sketches were lame, especially the “Edith Puthee” one. It was infantile. The nicest moment of the 90 minutes was Kate McKinnon’s farewell to RBG.

What accounted for the huge ratings? Several things. Pent up demand for a laugh. The curiosity of how the show would handle the political chaos of the last week. The guest stars, of course, who are incredibly popular.

A special nod to Chloe Fineman’s parody of the “Drew Barrymore Show.” She calls Drew her “queen” on Twitter, but the sketch was a little more biting than that. Drew and her show are insufferable. Fineman has found that already. Barrymore is so loaded on being upbeat that she’s already Tweeting how much she loves it. I don’t want to be there when she crashes.

 

 

UK Report: Regal Cinemas Shutting Down in Britain, Maybe US, Too, Loss of Movies and Also Big Charitable Giver

The Times of London is reporting that Cineworld, the company that owns Regal Theaters, is shutting them down in the UK and possibly the US, as well.

The move is a shock since they closed in March and April when the pandemic began, but re-opened where they could in July. But with New York, New Jersey, parts of California and Florida still shut, they may have had no choice.

In New York, Regal has over a dozen sites including Times Square and Union Square. None have been been open since March or April. Regal E Walk in Times Square is a magnet movie going location. It would be devastating to lose it. Ditto Union Square.

The Times of London says that the moving of the James Bond film, “No Time to Die,” was the reason Cineworld decided to shut down for good. They have no major studio movie coming, and no people to fill the seats.

In the US Regal operates out of Chattanooga and Knoxville, Tennessee. They are incredibly charitable. The Regal Foundation has been giving away an average of $5 million a year to groups in Tennessee mostly and some in other states. It would be a shame if that money dries up too. They seem really serious about it.

I’ve tried reaching out to some executives. If I hear anything, there will be an update.

In Video from Hospital Trump Calls Treatment “Miracles Coming Down from God,” He’ll Beat “This Corona Virus or Whatever You Want to Call It”

Donald Trump sent out a four minute video address on Twitter from Walter Reed Army Hospital. Despite having COVID and no doubt against doctor’s orders, he sent out a video calling his treatment “miracles from God.” He doesn’t believe in science or scientists. He thinks his medicines come from God. Okay, he is crazy. We know that. He also said he’ll beat “this Coronavius or whatever you call it.” Well, that’s what we call it.

Trump wants to reassure everyone that nothing is wrong. But actually, something is wrong. It’s unclear if we’ll get a true account of it for him, or if it will have to be leaked out like everything else.

See below, I don’t think he’s wearing pants.

Cue: “Smiling Faces Sometimes” by the Undisputed Truth.

Donald Trump Tweets Twice from Hospital Within Last Hour, Or Who Is It Then? Ivanka? Jared? Stephen Miller?

Someone is Tweeting from Donald Trump’s account. Is it him?

Seems impossible since he’s no doubt flat on his back with IVs in his arm. He’s also, according to reports, extremely fatigued, running a fever, and has possibly been on oxygen.

So who is it? Ivanka? Jared? Stephen Miller, visiting from his planet?

One way you know it’s not him is that he calls the virus “the plague.” The real Trump would call it “China Virus.” or “Peking Plague.”

Maybe it’s the same person pretending to be Herman Cain on his account. Cain died a few weeks ago, but he doesn’t stop.

 

 

COVID Catch Up: Chris Christie Has It, Press Conference Goes Very Wrong, Timeline of Trump’s Illness Makes No Sense

Was Donald Trump sick at the debate on Tuesday? Is that why he was so out of control and out of sorts? Is that why he didn’t take a COVID test before the debate? Did he suspect it? Did his team know it?

And if it wasn’t Tuesday, but Wednesday, hours after the debate, is that when he started receiving treatment?

Today’s press conference at Walter Reed Army Hospital went spectacularly wrong when doctors started making pronouncements of 48 and 72 hours, not understanding how many days ago that was, or did they? Before the press conference was over, there was, as Vanity Fair likes to say, pandemonium.

On top of that, did they lie about Trump’s actual present condition? As soon as the press conference was over, reports surfaced that Trump was a good deal more ill than revealed.

And morbidly obese Chris Christie is COVID positive, because he was at the SCOTUS announcement last Saturday. One by one, everyone who was there has gotten sick.

To paraphrase the late great Jimmy Breslin, this is the Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight.

Songs of the day: “Sideshow” by Blue Magic, “Lies” by Paul Revere and the Raiders, “Instant Karma” by John Lennon

Go to 36:30 for this mess:

 

Surprise! Jon Bon Jovi and Band Have Made the Best Album of their Long Career with Rocking, Intimate, Personal “2020”

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You know what they say: who woulda thunk it? But Jon Bon Jovi and his band have made what I think is the best album of their long career.

The title is “2020” and it’s topical, personal, intimate. On top of that, it’s a collection of great rock songs — rock, not pop — and well made individual songs without a dud in the bunch. Starting with the opening track, “Limitless,” and powering right through to the end.

Even better: Bon Jovi wrote this album. He was a couple of collaborations with John Shanks, but otherwise the songs have single bylines. No committees, teams, no Max Martin or any of that stuff. It’s Jon Bon Jovi really at his best. Don’t forget, a lot of the Bon Jovi Big Hits were written by others, like Desmond Child’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” There’s nothing wrong with that. But “2020” seems like an apt title because it’s not just the year, it’s also about seeing everything clearly.

“Limitless” is a very optimistic opener– life is worth the risk, get up, get dressed, let’s go. Life is limitless. A pandemic wake up song. But then “Do What You Can” addresses our reality:

Tonight they’re shutting down the borders
And they boarded up the schools
Small towns are rollin’ up their sidewalks
One less paycheck comin’ through
I know you’re feelin’ kinda nervous
We’re all a little bit confused
Nothing’s the same, this ain’t a game
We gotta make it through

It’s a punch, but what follows, in track three, “American Reckoning,” is Bon Jovi writing his Paul Simon-Dylan-Springsteen best, and it’s a gut punch:

America’s on fire
There’s protests in the street
Her conscience has been looted
And her soul is under siege
Another mother’s crying, as history repeats
I can’t breathe

The rest of the album goes this way, and to their credit the band supports the lyrics to all the songs with a strong foundation of melodically textured catchy reprises. There’s also a great radio single with “Beautiful Drug.”

Bon Jovi the band is what, 40 years old? 35? Nice to hear them at their peak.

The Bodies are Piling Up: Add Kellyanne Conway to the List of Trumpers COVID Positive After Mocking and Denying

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Miserable Kellyanne Conway, who was supposed to go away, apparently returned to the Trump fold and is now COVID positive. Her daughter, Claudia, sold her out on social media. Add her to the group with Donald, Melania, two Republican senators from the Judiciary committee, two unidentified journalists who had to cover the rally that brought all these people together. Along with Rev. John Jenkins, the president of Notre Dame University, they were all in the Rose Garden Saturday at 5pm when Trump introduced his Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett. Sadly, Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy, has tested negative. And Bill Barr? He should be nervous.

Clint Eastwood, Age 90, Will Star in and Direct Next Film for Warner Bros. Based on 1975 Novel “Cry Macho” By Author of “The Rainmaker”

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Clint Eastwood never stops and won’t stop thank goodness.

The 90 year old legendary actor and director has picked his next film. He’ll star in “Cry Macho” and direct it, too.

Producers are Al Ruddy, of “The Godfather” fame, with Jessica Meier, along with Tim Moore and Eastwood at their famed indie label, Malpaso.

Clint’s last movie he starred in was the excellent, “The Mule,” in 2018. Last year he directed “Richard Jewell,” which should have been a bigger hit but Warner’s dropped the ball. Too bad.

In this one, Eastwood will star as a “onetime rodeo star and washed-up horse breeder who, in 1978, takes a job from an ex-boss to bring the man’s young son home and away from his alcoholic mom. Crossing rural Mexico on their back way to Texas, the unlikely pair faces an unexpectedly challenging journey, during which the world-weary horseman may find his own sense of redemption through teaching the boy what it means to be a good man.”

Nick Schenck, who worked “Gran Torino” into a real gem, is buffing up the screenplay left behind by N. Richard Nash, author of the novel, “Cry Macho,” who died in 2000. Nash also wrote the famous play, “The Rainmaker,” which became a hit 1956 movie with Burt Lancaster and Katharine Hepburn. I’d love to know if Clint just had the paperback lying around since 1975, or the Nash estate pursued a sale.

 

No Time to Release: James Bond Film “No Time to Die” Moved to April 2021 A Year After Original Date– Even with Billie Eilish Video Out

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Wow. It must be crazy at MGM, Universal, Annapurna and Barbara Broccoli Productions.

The James Bond film, “No Time to Die,” has been moved yet again. It’s not opening on November 20th after all. They’ve moved it to “spring 2021.” It was originally set for April 2, 2020.

The weird part of this is that this week they released a new video for the theme song by Billie Eilish as if November 20th was a go. The announcement came this afternoon, so they must have decided that COVID wasn’t going away and any shot at success in November was a goner. (The Eilish video has 6.2 million views on YouTube which is nice, but no runaway success. I don’t think anyone cares anymore.)

You’ve got to feel bad for these people. They raced to make “No Time to Die,” missed fall-winter 2019, and chose April 2020. Now they’ve had to wait an entire year to release Daniel Craig’s last adventure as Bond. What’s worse is they’ve killed the Eilish track twice now.

Imagine Craig and director Cary Joji Fukunaga and the whole cast having to do publicity in April 2021. They should start making journals to remember what happened during the shoot.

Let’s hope we see “No Time to Die” in April 2021. There are no guarantees.

Meantime, the theater owners must be going out of their minds. Little by little the 2020 fall-winter season is collapsing. It hurts them more than it does the studios or the stars.

Can’t Keep Up: Kardashians Lowest Ratings Ever, Drop 15% Last Week from Final Season Debut 2 Weeks Ago

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The Kardashians can’t keep up with themselves or anyone else.

The self involved family fell to their lowest ratings ever on Thursday night with just 569,000 viewers. That’s a 15% drop from two weeks ago when their season began, and a 35% fall from last April’s end of season episode.

About a million viewers have decamped since a year ago.

“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” in its final season for a good reason: no one is watching. It’s a simple calculation. The Era of the Kardashians is over. Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn, is graduating to a “Real Housewives” show. That’s what we call doing the whole 180. Still no future for Scott Disick. The rest of them will just fade away.

And Kanye West? His presidential campaign is booming. Not.

How will “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” end? With 89 viewers and gunplay. That’s what I’m hearing. The final shot will be the close up of a fake eyelash on a driveway.