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Review: Lady Gaga Grabs Ridley Scott’s “The House of Gucci” By the Shutters, And Rattles It Til the Doorknobs Fall Off

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It takes Ridley Scott at least two hours and change to tell the story of how Patrizia Reggiani, a maybe social climber and  gold digger finagled her way into the House of Gucci.

Then it takes just a relatively short time to discuss how or why she had her ex-husband killed and she went to jail.

That’s a lot of time to build up to something that is then glossed over quickly. But I think Scott may have been mesmerized by Lady Gaga, pretty much the only appealing part of his long and often fact free movie. I know everyone else will be equally mesmerized by her.

You need to know the end of the story first: Reggiani is alive and well and out of jail despite hiring the hitman that murdered her ex, Maurizio Gucci, played by Adam Driver. In the movie, which opens on Wednesday, Patrizia and Maurizio eventually have a child, a daughter. In real life, they had two daughters. In real life, the Guccis were well divorced when Patrizia ordered the hit. Their settlement was finalized. She had nothing to gain and everything to lose. (The movie makes it seem otherwise.) She was either completely deranged or maybe there was something wrong with her.

It turns out, she did have a benign brain tumor. When she stood trial, there was much discussion of whether the tumor pressed against something in her avaricious head that caused her to make such a bad decision. None of that is in this movie. It seems like a major point, doesn’t it?

But let’s get back to “The House of Gucci,” a far cry from Ridley Scott’s’s really great, cleanly told 2017 movie “All the Money in the World” about the Getty family. That movie had a fully realized script. This one does not. The credited writers were not up to this task.

Luckily, Lady Gaga was: she got it. She went for it. She grabs the whole house of Gucci by the shutters and rattles it til the door knobs fall off. She gives a sensational performance clearly invented by her while everyone else tries to figure out what the hell is going on.

That would be: we have two Gucci brothers, played by Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons. Pacino’s Aldo — a real Al character, if you will —  has a dimwitted son (Jared Leto, over the top, LOL). Irons’s Rodolfo (the actor’s accent wanders like Marco Polo) has Adam Driver’s careful, boring, plodding Maurizio. (In real life, Aldo Gucci had three sons and a daughter. Again, a missing fact.)

Aldo knows his son is a fool, so invests in Maurizio to lead the next generation of the fashion house. He also decides he likes Patrizia, even though brother Rodolfo looks down his nose at her and doesn’t trust her. Rodolfo is correct but he’s the brother enjoying the fruits of everyone else’s labors. He lives in a castle surrounded by tapestries. Aldo is the garmento who makes the deals and gets things done.

But “House of Gucci” is a bit of a House of Cards. Is it about the murder? Or is it about the family? Scott is so fascinated by the long linear roll up to the murder he should have made a miniseries. Patrizia and Maurizio marry, Rodolfo kicks them out, Aldo brings them back. She has no business experience but is right in the middle of everything. The company falters, Maurizio grows tired of her and leaves her for another woman. Why? How do I know? It’s not explained! Marone!

The standout in the massive cast of supporting players is Salma Hayek as Pina Auremmia, a psychic and bloodsucker who helps Patrizia set up the hit. She recurs throughout and is a clear note in a cacophony. I also liked seeing Reeve Carney, from Broadway, as a young Tom Ford. Of all the colorful main players, it’s an unrecognizable Jared Leto people will remember as Paolo, a needed distraction covered in prosthetics and regret.

Adam Driver looks the part of staid, clueless Maurizio, but when he’s killed no one is unhappy. He isn’t missed. Maurizio, not a visionary by any means, sells the family’s legacy to a corporation. He’s a one dimensional character. He just seems greedy and a little stupid. When he and his next wife (“Call My Agent”‘s Camille Cotin) are on screen by themselves, all the air rushes out of the movie. That’s how much Gaga informs the proceedings. Her Patrizia is right (and so did Aldo see somethign in her): without her, they are nothing. She is more Gucci than the Gucci’s.

“The House of Gucci” is no “Gotti,” it’s not a disaster. This is Ridley Scott, after all. But it’s neither so campy you can make fun of it, nor serious enough to be “The Godfather.” It’s trapped somewhere in between. It’s under cooked, I think, because like another MGM movie this fall, “Respect,” the writers were not well versed in the material. They depended on the actors to fill in the blanks. (Jennifer Hudson did that for “Respect.” Gaga does it here.  “House of Gucci” proves she can act up a storm and carry a film. She holds the camera and it responds to her in kind. “A Star is Born” was not a fluke. She’s got an Oscar coming, but maybe not this time.

Taylor Swift Sets a Record for Hitting Number 1 with the Longest Single Ever, “AII Too Well”

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Once upon a time, “Hey Jude” was the longest hit single ever at 7 minutes, 11 seconds.

Then came “American Pie,” clocking in at over 8:37. The Don McLean hit was broken into side A and side B, but generally it was played at its full length.

The same thing happened to Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida.” The full length version was 17 ungodly minutes. But the radio hit was 2:55. And no radio station ever played the full one unless it was the middle of the night and the deejay went to the bathroom.

Last year Bob Dylan gave us “Murder Most Foul” at 16:56, but it wasn’t an actual single meant for radio play.

But now we have Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well,” clocking in at 10 minutes. Billboard has made it number 1 on their top 100, and on iTunes and elsewhere the Swiftian epic is also at the top.

In the halcyon days of pop we had some others. Harry Chapin’s “Taxi” was a door buster. Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely” ran at 6:33. Motown wouldn’t put it out as a single unless Stevie agreed to an edit, and he wouldn’t. So it wasn’t. “Bohemian Rhapsody” was “only” 6 minutes. “Stairway to Heaven” is 8:02 but it wasn’t a single, even though it was played endlessly on FM radio.

No, Taylor wins. Producer Jack Antonoff writes on Twitter: “the takeaway of a 10 minute song hitting number 1 is to not accept the narrative that people have no attention spans. that idea is created by herbs who sell crap. long live the audience who wants it ALL i love you” He adds: “wild to be a part of a 10 minute number 1! “

I’m amazed that Adele didn’t think of this. Her new songs only go to 6:30 or so. When she releases “36” in 7 years, I’ll bet she comes in at 11 minutes.

Report: Netflix’s Satire “Don’t Look Up” Budget Includes $55 Million for DiCaprio, Lawrence

Netflix’s “Don’t Look Up,” directed by Adam McKay, will have to be a big, big hit to break even.

In the new Vanity Fair cover story about Jennifer Lawrence, writer Karen Valby reveals that Leonardo DiCaprio was paid $30 million to play an astronomer scientist. Lawrence was paid $25 million.  That’s $55 million. (Guess who’s paying for that, Netflix subscribers?)

We can infer from this information that “Don’t Look Up” cost twice that number, at least $110 million. That’s a huge leap for a modest comedy that won’t really even play in theaters. Netflix is gambling on home viewers watching this thing as if it’s “The Crown” or “Squid Game.” I’m not sure that’s going to happen.

We can’t review “Don’t Look Up” yet but it’s not “Dr. Strangelove” or even “Wag the Dog.” The latter also had big stars DeNiro Pacino, Hoffman, plus Woody Harrelson. It had modest returns.

“Don’t Look Up” has a big cast following DiCaprio and Lawrence, starting with Meryl Streep (three Oscars, Queen of all Hollywood),  Cate Blanchett (two time Oscar winner), Jonah Hill (very popular), Mark Rylance (Oscar winner) and plenty of others. So $110 million might be a low number. And when those others read all this, they’ll be calling their agents.

Meantime, Vanity Fair has a winner in the Jennifer Lawrence cover. It’s their  Hail Mary shot after a desultory year of covers that included some strange choices like Puff Daddy for the September issue. (What the heck was that about?) The magazine’s online traffic has plummeted, and none of their covers this year was a hit. At least this end of the year double issue has a chance. But wow, Vanity Fair’s whole gestalt has been whittled down to who to keep out of their parties.

Reports: Kevin Spacey Will Have to Pay “House of Cards” Producer $31 Million Over Sex Scandal Cancellation

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Kevin Spacey is now in a special class with OJ Simpson.

Spacey has lost an arbitration appeal over a case he already lost brought by the producers of “House of Cards,” his Netflix TV series.

Producer MRC — which also owns Dick Clark Productions, lots of awards shows, is in business with Variety publisher Penske Media, etc — sued Spacey when they had to scrap the first two episodes of the final season of “House of Cards” and rewrite the entire season without him.

Spacey apparently lost the case and appealed. Now he’s lost the appeal and will have to cough up $31 million. That’s the same amount the families of Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown were awarded in their civil case about Simpson. They’ve never seen a dime and neither will MRC.

The news of the appeal amount came in a filing from MRC about the case. The Wall Street Journal reports “MRC said it conducted an investigation into Mr. Spacey’s behavior on the set of the show and determined he “had breached provisions of both the Acting and Executive Producing Agreements that set standards for his workplace conduct, including by breaching MRC’s Harassment Policy.”

So that’s it. Spacey’s career has been basically ruined by a number of allegations and lawsuits all accusing him of being a sexual predator. He was a double Oscar winner and a Tony Award winner.

“General Hospital” Actor Exits Show Today After Refusing to Vax, Doubles Down on Right Wing Rhetoric

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“General Hospital” fans will bid goodbye today to actor Ingo Rademacher. He’s not dead. But he’s leaving because he refused to accept the Disney-ABC vaccine mandate. Rademacher has been with the show for the better part of 26 years.

Losing his paycheck and employment status hasn’t chastened Rademacher. He has continued to post inflammatory and incorrect information about the vaccine on his Instagram and social media accounts. Last week he posted a video from crazy Fox News conspiracy theorist. Today he has one from nutty California right winger Tulsi Gabbard.

It’s fairly unlikely that Rademacher will check back into “General Hospital” any time soon. And the three other soaps would be wary of bringing in an actor who won’t get vaccinated. I can’t imagine their casts and crews being excited about that possibility.

Unless the actor gets a new soap role, this will be our goodbye to him on this site.

Will Smith’s New Memoir Doesn’t Address Failed Private School, Scientology Connections That Hounded Him

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Will Smith has a new movie out, “King Richard,” and a memoir called “Will.”

The movie struggled at the box office this weekend, taking in just $5.7 million in wide release. The book is number 6 at amazon on its bestseller list.

Although Smith has been incredibly candid over the last year about his open marriage, affairs, his sex life, weight gain, and various other topics that fall under the rubric of “TMI”– too much information — he skips one big issue in the book.

Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett started a private school in lush Calabasas, California for their son and daughter. They hired the administrators and teachers, used Scientology curriculum, and went belly up in 2013. This adventure, however, is skipped over in “Will.”

Initially, Smith admits in the book to becoming obsessed with Tom Cruise, the most famous Scientology celebrity. Will and Jada got every chummy with Cruise when he was going through his Katie Holmes phase, even attending several huge events with him very publicly. And vice versa. It was clear that Cruise saw an opening to bring the Smiths into his cult.

Will and Jada proceeded to start the New Village Academy in Calabasas. They brought in a Scientologist to run it, had a lot scandals and problems, and the whole went up in financial flames in 2013 when their kids were done with it.

It’s a chapter in Will Smith’s life you’d think would merit some recollection in a 400 plus page book. Equally absent from “Will” is any mention of the Scientology like movie bomb Will starred in with son Jaden, “After Earth.” He may be saving all that material for the sequel.

 

Justin Bieber Urged by Fiancee of Murdered Journalist Khashoggi Not to Play Saudi Concert

You may recall a highlight of the Trump years was the murder in Turkey of Washington Post writer Jamal Khashoggi. The Saudi journalist was killed in his country’s embassy in Turkey, chopped into pieces on orders of prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud.

Justin Bieber, clueless when it comes to world politics, is planning to play a show there on December 5th  at the Formula One Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2021. The show will also feature performances by Jason Derulo, Tiesto, David Guetta, and A$AP Rocky, whom Trump rescued from a Swedish prison after he was arrested for domestic violence in the summer of 2019. He was convicted but served no time.

I digress. Khashoggi’s fiancee, Hatice Cengiz, written an open letter to Bieber in the Washington Post urging him not to go through with it. Cingiz writes: “Do not sing for the murderers of my beloved Jamal. Please speak out and condemn his killer, Mohammed bin Salman. Your voice will be heard by millions.”

Bieber should be shown the documentary, “The Dissident,” if he wants to know how Khashoggi died. The respected journalist was chopped up into little pieces. No one has ever paid for the crime. The prince, known as “MBS,” has walked away scot-free.

Cingiz isn’t alone in criticizing Bieber. The chairman and CEO of the Human Rights Foundation — Garry Kasparov and Thor Halvorssen — are also calling for Bieber to cancel a scheduled performance in Saudi Arabia “as a symbol of solidarity with the ongoing suffering of the Saudi people.”

Bieber has made being a Christian the cornerstone of his career after years of spitting on fans, setting fires, and getting arrested. Unfortunately, his spiritual advisor at Hillsong Church, Carl Lentz, was fired in disgrace after it was revealed that he was having an affair and was involved in financial improprieties.

But Bieber — who is featured with “MBS” on the website for the concert — has persisted in posting his religious fervor to social media. He also made a video called “Holy” featuring crosses. How he would be able to rationalize being paid by millions by the Saudis is a mystery. So far he hasn’t responded.

Carole King’s 50 Year Old “Tapestry” Gets Lone Sales Spike from Rock Hall HBO Special

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Carole King’s “Tapestry,” released in 1971, jumped to number 11 this morning on iTunes and 43 on Amazon.

The boost came from last night’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction special on HBO, which was very well produced overall despite being too long and in some instances, quite strange.

The special showcased King right at the top of the three hours and twenty minutes. So “Tapestry” got the most effect of the evening. The video piece about Carole, and Jennifer Hudson’s electric performance of “Natural Woman,” did the trick. So did Carole’s own performance. Taylor Swift also sang for Carole, although she was flat and it was neatly covered up.

The Carole King segment set the tone for the evening, which was smoothly executed despite the Hall of Fame’s inherent weirdness. They inducted LL Cool J and Jay Z, neither of which made any sense. But their speeches were terrific. The Jay Z bio video was interminable, however, as was LL Cool J’s music segment. The appearance of Jennifer Lopez, clearly augmented in the vocals (she cannot sing) was torturous.

Tributes to inducted performers who were dead and also Black were a little embarrassing. Although Ringo Starr’s video piece on Billy Preston was welcome, Paul McCartney could have said something about Billy, the Fifth Beatle, especially when he sang “Get Back” at the end of the show with Foo Fighters. Also, McCartney asserted that the Beatles, like Nirvana, ended because of a tragedy. Huh? Kurt Cobain died. No one died when the Beatles broke up. I didn’t quite get that.

Tina Turner obviously couldn’t travel from Switzerland, but her video acceptance was great to see. I love Tina, but this idea that she’s the only Black woman ever who triumphed in these arenas is misguided. Aretha Franklin had just as much adversity and scaled higher heights. Gladys Knight is out there still working, with a monumental and underrated talent. Diana Ross probably threw something at her TV when she watched all this. Ditto Patti Labelle, Dionne Warwick and many others.

The best segment, unexpectedly, was about Kraftwerk. The piece actually delineated how the avant garde German EDM group influenced disco and post-punk New Wave 80s dance music. I actually felt like I learned something during those few minutes.

Overall, the Rock Hall induction show was the best it’s been in years. And a lot of artists who’d been ignored or forgotten were finally included. Mission accomplished. Next year I’d like to see Sting as a solo artist, Carly Simon, J Geils Band, Chubby Checker, among others join the club. And to Todd Rundgren: you made a mistake not going. Couldn’t I just tell you? You should have seen the light.

 

 

Box Office: “Dune” Falls Short Again of $100 Mil as Warner Bros’ Day-Date Program Hurts “King Richard”

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The sands of time are running very slowly for “Dune.”

Denis Villeneuve’s sci fi epic would have made well over $150 million by now if it hadn’t been placed on HBO Max for the last month.

As it is, “Dune” finished this weekend after 5 weeks in release with just $98 million. The Warner Bros. policy of putting all their theatrical films simultaneously on HBO Max, critics say, has wrecked their box office. Filmmakers cannot be happy.

For months, WB has touted Will Smith and pushed him with the press for Best Actor in “King Richard.” The ingredients for success were all there, certainly. But now reality has set in. “King Richard” opened to a lousy $5.7 million in very wide release. So now they’ve got a major studio release that acted like a small indie film. If business doesn’t pick up fast, exhibitors will cut its showings.

Warners’ policy has hurt all of its films this year. “The Many Saints of Newark,” which I loved, died on arrival. This has to be a blow for David Chase and the actors, who we ginned up with deserved glowing reviews. But the Sopranos fans saw this on HBO Max and thought of it as a TV show, not a movie. Very very frustrating.

And that doesn’t include the complete catastrophe of “The Suicide Squad,” also DOA, “In the Heights,” and Clint Eastwood’s “Cry Macho.” It can’t be fun for the marketing and PR departments, which work overtime only to see everything go up in smoke.

(PS I still think Margot Robbie deserves some awards notice for “The Suicide Squad.” Great performance!)

So there we are. Let’s hope poor “Dune” finally crosses the $100 million line this week, and “King Richard” can hold on until the first week of December.

Box Office: “Ghostbusters” Reboot Is A Hit, Princess Diana Ghosts “Spencer,” Will Smith Less Than Royal

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Box office weekend:

“King Richard” was really hurt at the box office by its HBO Max day and date run. Total in wide release came to $5.7 million, which is even less than the low prediction of $5.9 million. Will Smith has been so pitched for Best Actor, and the cast is excellent. Serena and Venus Williams wanted this movie, this way, about how their father, Richard, trained them to become superstar athletes. The publicity and marketing were excellent, and the reviews were solid.

So now what? Let “King Richard” sit on his throne for a bit until awards notices come in the first week of December. “King Richard” will get a lot of nods from the Critics Choice Awards, and should find some s love among the critics groups in different cities.

Stranger still is what happened to Neon’s “Spencer.” Third week, Neon dropped “Spencer” from 311 theaters. After all the time and money that’s been put into Kristen Stewart for Best Actress as Princess Diana, the studio is letting the air out of the tires! Maybe it’s a short retreat until the awards nods in early December. But Princess Diana’s ghost seems to be haunting this movie as well as the alm0st-closed Broadway show (the two projects are separate).

Some good news: “Ghostbusters: Afterlife” is a hit after it looked bleak from opening night. The new film made $44 million over the weekend. In 2016, the all female “Ghostbusters” did $46 million ($53 million adj for inflation). So, not bad. Nothing to complain about.