Wednesday, December 17, 2025
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Friday Box Office: “Cyrano” Loses By More Than a Nose with Just $470K Opening Night

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Which headline is best here? “Cyrano Loses By More Than A Nose”? Or “Cyrano Comes Up Short”?

Either way, “Cyrano” starring Peter Dinklage as Monsieur DeBergerac and Haley Bennett as Roxanne, has finally been sneaked into theaters by MGM/United Artists and gone to its death. The Friday take was just 470,000. Audience was composed mostly of the morbidly curious.

This “Cyrano” is a bad movie featuring a very good lead performance by Dinklage. The ads do not indicate it’s a musical because it’s a terrible one with songs that should never have been sung or written. They were composed by the Dessner Brothers from the not entirely successful rock group The National. Dinklage’s wife, Erica Schmidt, then staged this thing way off Broadway a couple of years ago, with Dinklage and Bennett. Then Bennett’s boyfriend, Joe Wright, was brought in to direct it for the movies.

“Cyrano” was as doomed as the romance it involves: shown at festivals last fall, it should have been released before the end of the year. When that didn’t happen, some thought Valentine’s Day would make a little sense. But MGM/UAR was looking for its third strike, or fourth, I can’t remember. Already “Flag Day,” “Respect,” and “Licorice Pizza” have been swallowed whole by the yawning gap of the theatrical crisis. Why not this one, too?

In DeBergerac’s famous play, Cyrano was the object of ridicule because of his long nose. So why not change that to Dinklage’s version being mocked for his lack of height? I’ll tell you why: because of Dinklage (and others) working hard for respect with vertical challenges, were are now sensitive to that issue. The nose thing always worked as a device and would have again. But now in this film we’re just uncomfortable about everything. (Dinklage is such a star, we never think of his height, only his stature.)

MGM/UA seems to have enough money to buy movies with star names, but not movies that are fully cooked. There’s something off about all of them: “Respect” showed none for Aretha Franklin. “Licorice Pizza,” no one understood the title. Now this one was unable to scale any heights. And “Flag Day” was never rung up the pole.

And still Amazon waits to buy the company or merge with them, but the FTC stands in their way. It may be for the best.

Dick Wolf Moves to Re-organize “Organized Crime,” Chris Meloni’s “Law & Order” Disaster

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Dick Wolf has finally stepped up and done something about “Organized Crime.”

Showrunner Ilene Chaiken is out. Barry O’Brien, who joined the show in November, will take over. His recent credits include running “Castle” for a season and writing for “CSI Miami.”

Chris Meloni’s “Organized Crime” chapter of “Law & Order” is sinking in the ratings because it’s not a show. It’s an idea that has gone wrong. Meloni looks awful and week after week Elliot Stabler is involved in a convoluted mess concerning Dylan McDermott’s Richard Wheatley. The whole “Law & Order” formula has been thrown out in service of a mess.

It can only be hoped that O’Brien has been developing a new blueprint with fleshed out characters and idea who Elliot is supposed to and what  the heck he’s doing. The show’s weaknesses were made even more apparent Thursday night when real “Law & Order” returned from oblivion and had 2 million more viewers than “OG.”

I thought when they announced “OG” that Stabler and a crew would be chasing all kinds of mobsters of different ilks. Instead, it was a show about a vendetta. And who are the people Stabler works with? What is their relationship to each other? It’s time to organize “Organized Crime.”

Deadline.com first reported Chaiken’s exit.

 

Oscar Isaac Makes One of His Few Really Bad Movies with “Big Gold Brick,” Panned by Reviewers

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Oscar Isaac has either made critically acclaimed films and/or financial hits. He rarely makes a mistake in his choices. Those would include Madonna’s “W.E.” and Dan Fogelman’s “Life Itself.”

Isaac’s had two highly regarded hits in just the last year: “Dune” and “The Card Counter.” He’s also had a hit on HBO with “Scenes from a Marriage.” He has a hotly anticipated Marvel mini series coming called “Moon Knight.”

Today a film dropped that almost no one has heard of featuring Isaac. It’s called “Big Gold Brick,” directed by Brian Petsos. Ouch! There are only 21 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and they are mostly pans. The rating average is 24%.

Glenn Kenny wrote: “Unlike many other film enthusiasts turned filmmakers, Petsos hasnt figured out anything useful to do with his influences.”

Variety said: “Despite piling on character details and plot developments, “Big Gold Brick” is beset by torpor, in large part because every new incident is untethered to the ones that preceded and follow it.”

New York Times: “The title of this perfectly well-appointed production is apt: “Big Gold Brick” looks all right but it truly just sits there.”

One day maybe we’ll find out how Isaac, whose credits include “A Most Violent Year,” “Inside Llewyn Davis,” and three “Star Wars” movies, found himself in a movie with Megan Fox and Lucy Lawless.

 

 

Justin Bieber Tour Falling Apart, Singer Still Has COVID, Cancels Fourth Show, Set for Saturday in Tacoma

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Justin Bieber cannot get any Justice.

The singer’s Justice tour is falling apart. He’s just cancelled his fourth show, this one set for Tacoma on Saturday. Bieber has COVID still after several days.

Bieber’s COVID is attributed to his attending a Super Bowl party on February 13th. But now with him obviously not improving quickly, the question is Was he ever vaccinated? It seems unlikely.

Bieber isn’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier, we know that. He’s also devoutly religious and follows some extreme ideas. It’s possible he thought he’d be tracked by the government or something. The result is a loss of millions in so many ways.

Next tour date is Monday in San Jose, California. Does he know the way to San Jose? We’ll find out over the weekend.

seriously– get well soon, and get vaxxed!

Alec Baldwin May Find Financial Refuge Against Halyna Hutchins Lawsuit in New Vermont Home Purchase

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Last week we learned that Alec Baldwin bought a 55 acre estate in Arlington, Vermont. He spent $1.75 million and got himself a couple of houses and plenty of room on which to build new ones.

Coincidentally, a short time later it was revealed that Baldwin had been sued for wrongful death by Matt Hutchins, the husband of Halyna Hutchins, the cinematographer Baldwin allegedly accidentally killed on the set of “Rust.”

Since then Hutchins has gone on the warpath, giving an interview to the “Today” show where he leveled blame for the accident on Baldwin directly.

The lawsuit is serious and could cost Baldwin millions if there’s a judgement against him. (There are other lawsuits as well.)

And that may be why the actor, father of six small children and adult daughter Ireland, is interested in Vermont. It’s a homestead state.

Baldwin already owns a massive apartment in Manhattan near the NYU campus in the East Village. He also owns a pretty big property in the Hamptons. He is clearly domiciled in New York.

But a homestead state protects residents from civil judgements. This is similar to OJ Simpson moving to Florida after a civil jury handed the families of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman a $31 million judgement. They’ve never collected more than a few dollars from Simpson. They couldn’t go after his home or his pension.

Now Alec, who is not stupid, has suddenly taken an interest in Vermont. Yes, his wife, Hilary’s — Hilaria’s — grandparents lived there for years. Yes, Hilaria drove there right after the shooting, loaded up the SUV with her kids and told an interviewer she drove there without a purpose. It was a total fluke. But maybe not.

Baldwin has a lot to protect financially. He’s made millions from “30 Rock” and real estate investments. He’s earned a tidy sum hosting The Match Game on ABC and shilling for Capital One. If the Hutchins lawsuit turns into something more, or — it’s hard to believe — there are criminal charges from the “Rust” shooting — New England, a place in which he’s spent no time in his life, may be a financial refuge.

I’ve no doubt Baldwin has read up on How to Protect Your Income and Property on Vermont’s Legal Help website.  I’ll bet Hutchins’ lawyers– and Hutchins himself is a lawyer– have, too.

 

Sting Club King: Soaring Vocal Turns Swedish House Mafia’s “Redlight” Into a Dance Floor Rave

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Released today and already tearing up the dance floors around the world: Swedish House Mafia has done a remix of “Roxanne” with Sting’s soaring vocals. The result is a massive club hit. Maybe next for Sting will be a “Cold Heart” type single a la Elton John and producers PNAU. In the meantime, Sting is the new club king. You see, great songs are never over!

Sting tells me these are new vocals. He recorded them at Shaggy’s studio in Miami two months ago. His voice has never sounded better, too!

This isn’t all with Sting. He’s on tour, has a Caesar’s Palace residency coming up, and his new album, “The Bridge” will earn Grammy noms next fall. A Spanish version of a song from that album, “Por Su Amor,” has also just hit the air. See below.

“Law & Order” Returns After 12 Years and Helps “SVU” Beat “Grey’s Anatomy” Thursday Block

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Once again, there is “Law & Order.”

The mothership show returned to NBC last night to a healthy 5.54 million viewers. It wasn’t the 7.6 million that “Law & Order” ended with in 2010. But that was a dozen years ago.

The return of the original helped boost “SVU” at 9pm with 5.0 million. The two shows won their key demos, as well.

NBC still finished second to CBS’s “Young Sheldon” block but handily beat ABC’s “Station 19” and “Grey’s Anatomy.”

The show that didn’t fare so well was “Organized Crime.” Even with all the “L&O” ballyhoo, Chris Meloni’s 10pm outing still lags behind under 4 million at 3.4 million. The only upside for “Organized Crime” is that it beat its own 10pm competition since no one has any idea what “Blue Sky” is, and “Bull” is coming to an end.

 

Paul McCartney May Headline Glastonbury Festival A Week After Turning 80 This June

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A mysterious Wordle message on Twitter from Paul McCartney indeed has a lot of meaning.

From the looks of the message, fans are speculating McCartney will be headlining the Glastonbury Music Festival in the Uk on June 25th. That’s one week after he turns 80. Paul already has 13 stadium dates planned for the US just prior to Glastonbury, this one may kick off his UK tour.

The Wordle message indicates 121 — as in 121 days til the fest. And the numbers — 25/6 — are the British way of writing the date.

The five letters from Wordle could spell out GLASTO. They could also spell out RINGO. Or Nancy, Paul’s wife. Or APPLE, his famous label. Or BEATLE.

The only other announced stars for Glastonbury so far are Billie Eilish, and Diana Ross in the Legends Spot. If Diana’s in the Legends spot, where would that leave Paul?

“Mrs. Maisel” 3 & 4: Alex Borstein Gives Her Emmy Performance, John Waters Turns Up on a Park Bench

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“Mrs. Maisel,” season 4, episodes 3 & 4 drop Friday sometime after midnight on Amazon Prime.

SOME SPOILERS LIE AHEAD….

There’s the good, the bad, and the I don’t know.

On the plus side, which is most of it, Midge’s job at the strip club, what I would call a burlesque house in 1960, is a total hit. Tony winner Santino Fontana, the only Broadway star not in The Gilded Age, is the manager. The production values and costumes are off the charts. The girls are wonderful and I hope we see more of them.

On the downside, Midge — who is going out on dates — seems aimless. She’s treading water in these episodes, looking for a unifying theme for this season. Rachel Brosnahan is giving it her all but show creators Daniel Palladino and Amy Sherman Palladino feel a little adrift. I hope they have a plan because we’re already at episode 4.

Episode 3 addresses the loss of Jackie, Susie’s roommate and the manager of their little village nightclub, the Gaslight. In real life actor Brian Tarantina died during the pandemic from a drug overdose. In the “Maisel” world, the cause of death is a stroke. His death obviously affected the cast and crew because Jackie’s death is sort of brilliantly handled and not swept under the rug. Alex Borstein’s speech/rant at his funeral is Emmy worthy. She pulls it off with aplomb. But there’s no payoff plot-wise to Jackie’s death. which is a shame. No surprise reveal or legacy.

There’s also a segment I can’t say I’ve seen before on TV and not really even in a Woody Allen movie at this length. It takes place in a synagogue at a bar mitzvah to which the main players  have been mistakenly invited. It’s right out of a Woody Allen movie and maybe the most Jewish thing I’ve ever seen on a regular TV show. It’s very funny.

There are a couple of strange things going on. Midge decides that Susie is a lesbian (Susie has never stated this, it’s just her look). Midge roams around Greenwich Village idiotically asking strangers for the name of a lesbian bar.  She finally gets it from a man on a bench played by the great John Waters. When Midge takes her there, Susie is outraged and leaves. Whatever happens next, I couldn’t figure out– she retrieves a drunk from another bar and installs him at her new office. This part was murky. Also, in episode 4, actor Reid Scott from “Veep” is credited but I could not find him. Plus, in Joel’s Chinatown bar there’s a poster for contemporary singer James Bay. Or someone named James Bay, but the poster is large and definitely there for a reason.

Episode 4 also features Jason Alexander, returning as Abe’s old friend, failed playwright Asher, who’s always a pleasure. But the episode ends an odd note that I didn’t understand. Midge falls off the stage and people just walk away as the credits roll. If this was a joke, I missed it.

Last season, Midge’s opening for Shy Baldwin was the overarching story, and it worked to carry all the episodes. This season just feels pedestrian so far. Even a pop-in from Lenny Bruce (Luke Kirby) was kind of wasted. But we can’t give up. The Palladinos are too smart not to have a plan. I hope.

PS I’m told that the end of episode 4 will be resolved in Episode 5, even though it was strange the way it went down. And the guy Susie snatches from the bar hearkens back to Episode 1 when she was hypnotized, but it will be explained also in Episode 5. Whew!

RIP The Great Sally Kellerman, 84, The Original Hot Lips Houlihan from “MASH”

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I was at the screening of “The Batman” when news broke of Sally Kellerman’s death. She was 84 and had been in declining health for some time.

Sally was the original Hot Lips Houlihan from Robert Altman’s movie, “MASH.” She was an Altman favorite and long time friend of both Bob and Kathryn Altman. Bob featured her in many other films including Brewster McCloud, Ready to Wear, The Player and the Altman-produced “Welcome to L.A.” directed by Alan Rudolf.

Her first film was “Reform School Girl” in 1957. She went on to spend most of the 1960s in various television appearances, with her big break coming in “MASH.” She earned an Oscar nomination for Best Actress in a Supporting Role, as well as nominations for a Golden Globe and the Kansas City Film Critics Circle award for Best Supporting Actress.

Sally had a sly sense of humor that was also very sexy. Whenever she appeared on screen, she had a distinct personality that set her apart from all other actresses. She was also smart, and quick, which gave her a foot up in roles. She was very good at droll satire, which is why Altman liked her so much. I don’t know if Bill Persky’s “Serial” from 1980 is around, but it’s worth finding to her in it. Some of her other movies were “Last of the Red Hot Lovers,” “Slither,” “The April Fools,” and “Back to School,” as well as television shows Star Trek, The Twilight Zone, Bonanza, and The Outer Limits.

I was lucky enough to know Sally over the years. Unfortunately, she was married to a sketchy guy who had financial troubles, producer Jonathan Krane, once the partner of John Travolta. He died a few years ago. Krane had worked for producer-director Blake Edwards who felt that Krane had not been above board with him. But she was one of those great ladies, with a big smile and a hearty laugh who embraced everyone. She will be sorely missed.