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Audience Cannes-Not Take It: Many Walk-Outs Reported from David Cronenberg Premiere of “Crimes of the Future”

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The word from Cannes is that a lot of people could not stomach David Cronenberg’s “Crimes of the Future.”

Cronenberg predicted there would be walk outs and apparently there were a lot. The film starring Viggo Mortensen and Lea Seydoux is not easy to watch.

Kyle Buchanan of the NY Times wrote: “I counted around 15 who exited during the film’s first press screening. Maybe walkouts are the new standing ovation!”

Scott Feinberg of the Hollywood Reporter Tweeted: “CRIMES OF THE FUTURE marks a return for 79yo Cronenberg to the sort of body horror for which he made his name. It’s smart, creative, thought-provoking and yes, very f—ing weird. Viggo/Lea’s committed perfs help to make it plausible. But I wouldn’t hold my breath for the Academy.

The headline for the LA Times review: Surgery, sex and superfluous human organs converge in David Cronenberg’s ‘Crimes of the Future’

I was really sad that I couldn’t get to Cannes this year. But all I keep reading about are movies with gross scenes, movies that involve puking and other scatological messes that no one in the real wants to see for $15. But knowing the way things work now, they’ll probably put these films on IMAX screens!

After Next “Mission Impossible” Trailer Leaked, Studio Releases It — A Year Before Release

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Over the weekend there were reports of a leak- of the trailer of “Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One.” The movie won’t be released until July 14, 2023– 14 months from now.

So now Paramount is forced to release what they call the teaser trailer — it’s two and a half minutes of Tom Cruise doing dangerous stunts. But I’d wager the studio didn’t want this out this week. It interferes with the launch of “Top Gun Maverick” on Thursday night.

But here it is. Next summer looks like a blockbuster!

“American Idol” Finishes Season With Most Boring Winner Ever, Gets Rid of All Black, Interesting Performers

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The new “American Idol” is 20 year old Noah Thompson, a white country singer. He is one of the most boring winners ever hands down, someone you will never remember or think of again.

Thompson beat HunterGirl, real name Hunter Wolkonowski, a 23 year old country singer. She looked like she might win, and should have, so the end of the show was a real surprise.

Of course the sad part of “American Idol” is that they got rid of all the Black contestants, the overweight ones, the interesting people, the fringe performers. “Idol” managed to winnow down their large stable of players until they got Cheez Whiz and Gee Whiz.

The really nasty moment was when they sent home Jay Copeland, a young Black singer with an amazing voice. Every week the judges raved about him, set him up as the certain winner. And then the audience swatted him away. I just hope Copeland gets his Jennifer Hudson revenge and winds up having a HUGE success away from the show. Then “Idol” will come running back to him to promote the show, LOL.

“American Idol” is a joke. It ended with a whimper.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=q_nNhktq5-U
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vVCVahzft80

Box Office: “Doctor Strange” Flirts with $350 Mil, “Downton Abbey” Royal Start, “Men” Don’t Man Up

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Weekend box office: it all goes to “Doctor Strange,” which is now reeling in second and third timers in waves.

The Marvel phenom is now flirting with $350 million, ending the weekend just $8 below that magic number. The landmark should come by Wednesday if not sooner.

“Downton Abbey: A New Era” finished with just over $16 million, down 50% from the 2019 movie. This film will have a big life on streaming and VOD. Also, I think it was a mistake not to tell passionate fans what happens in the film. So here goes: there’s a major character death that’s beautifully acted and executed. If you loved the series, you must see this movie.

And then were “Men.” Or was? These Men are not at Work. The A24 horror film didn’t scare anyone. Total $3.3 million. It was low budget but still…

Now we wait for this Thursday night’s “Top Gun Maverick” previews. Tom Cruise is not generally a box office killer. But this film has had extraordinary marketing and publicity plus great reviews. It could be the biggest grosser of Cruise’s career.

Kate McKinnon’s Last “SNL” Sketch: She Leaves Earth with Aliens in a Tearful Goodbye

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Kate McKinnon opened “SNL” tonight in a sketch as Colleen Rafferty, raunchy UFO traveler. Interviewed by Pentagon inspectors, Colleen bade goodbye to Earth to join space aliens. It was McKinnon’s tearful exit from “SNL” after a decade of great, great work. We will all miss her on the weekly show, but her future is very bright.

Pete Davidson Says Goodbye to “Saturday Night Live”: “I owe Lorne Michaels and everyone at SNL my life”

Tonight before “SNL,” Pete Davidson says goodbye to the fans after a long run. He’ been gone from the show since February 26th. I remember back in 2014 when Lorne Michaels invited a few press to dinner with then cast. I hung out with Pete and Leslie Jones and Michael Che. They were all so talented and funny. This was a long running cast for “SNL” and all its players should do well in the world of showbiz.

Here’s his exit letter:

“It’s crazy to think that today I’ll be doing my last [show]. When I got the show I was 20 years old and I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t but especially back then. I wasn’t really a sketch performer I was just a stand up. I knew I could never keep up or go toe to toe with a Kenan Thompson or a Kate McKinnon so I was super scared at figuring out what I could possibly bring to or do for such a historic, respected show and platform. I figured since I’m a stand up I’ll just try my stand up and personal bits on Weekend Update as myself and I’m so glad I did. I got to share so much with this audience and literally grow up in front of your eyes. We were together through the good and the bad, the happiest and the darkest of times. I owe Lorne Michaels and everyone at SNL my life. Im so grateful and I wouldn’t be here without them. I appreciate you guys always having my back and sticking up for me even when that wasn’t the popular opinion. Thank you for always believing in me and sticking by my side even when it seemed comical. Thank you for teaching me life values, how to grow up and for giving me memories that will last a lifetime. SNL is my home. I’m so happy and sad about tonight’s show. For so many reasons I can’t explain. Can’t wait to be back next year in a Mulaney musical number.”

⁃ Resident young person Pete Davidson

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Box Office: “Downton Abbey: A New Era” Looks at $20 Mil Weekend, A24’s “Men” Has Issues

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“Men” figured in last night’s box office. Some scored, others didn’t.

“Doctor Strange” conjured up $ 8.5 million, bringing its total to a hefty $319 million. Another $17 million will bring it well over $330 million by tomorrow night.

Other “Men” didn’t fare so well. A24’s horror film of that name, which I hear people really don’t like made just a million bucks last night after $400K in previews. “Men” won’t take home $5 million in its opening weekend. On Rotten Tomatoes, it has a lowly 56% audience score.

The best new movie of the weekend, “Downton Abbey: A New Era” did great last night given all parameters of COVID. “A New Era” will have a $20 million opening weekend, lower than the first movie (pre-pandemic) but just fine. Go see it. It’s incredibly enjoyable even if a certain someone comes to sad but beautiful end.

SNL Facing Departures of Several Stars (Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant) After Tonight’s Show: Scooped Here on 4/28

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Listen, kids, I told you on April 28th that several members of the “SNL” were exiting at the end of this season.

Saturday night’s show will mark the end at least for Kate McKinnon, Pete Davidson, Kyle Mooney and Aidy Bryant.

I thought Cecily Strong was done, too, but that seems up in the air. Lorne Michaels may want her to stay one more season with McKinnon leaving.

Look for a big farewell tonight. And read my article from April 28th, before anyone else wrote it.

Review: Harry Styles’ “House” Is Full of Familiar Furniture, But the Kids Don’t Know It, So It’s OK

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Here’s the deal with Harry Styles and his new album, “Harry’s House.”

It has nothing to do with Olivia Wilde, and less to do with Joni Mitchell’s song, “Harry’s House.” So let’s dispel all that.

Harry is very likeable, full of fun, and a great pop star. He knows how to entertain an audience, and he has great fashion sense. On the Today show yesterday he was dressed like a barber pole with billowy sleeves.

But Harry is not a songwriter. His songs are cooked for him in a factory, not unlike most pop stars these days. He adds a few bars and puts his name on the credits. Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, and many others, have been doing that for years.

“Harry’s House” is full of familiar furniture. But as a Sony exec said to me recently, “The kids don’t know, and it’s okay.”

On his first two albums, Harry had a lot of borrowed riffs and melodies from the 70s. I called them out. No one cared.

With this “House,” the similarities to existing music are everywhere. “Late Night Talking” is a good single because it sounds a lot like Dua Lipa’s “Levitating.” (And listen, she’s being sued over that one anyway.) “As it Was” is a reminder of A-Ha’s “Take on Me.” The opening guitar of “Boyfriends” comes from Simon & Garfunkel’s “I Am a Rock.” The rest of it sounds like “Bookends.” On “Grapejuice,” you’ll find Paul McCartney’s “Let ‘Em In” speeded up. At least on “Daydreaming,” Styles and his crew give credit to Alex Weir, Quincy Jones and the Brothers Johnson. They couldn’t get away with that one.

Do I expect a totally original album of songs? Not anymore. It’s the third album. Does it matter? Not really. Styles is a sunny, pleasing performer. He’s harmless fun. He doesn’t have to be Simon or McCartney or Quincy Jones and Alex Weir, or even Dua Lipa. Every generation needs a good pop star with an optimistic outlook, a little sexy teasing, and tousled hair. So why not enjoy being a guest in “Harry’s House” for now? Anc maybe all these references will send kids to the originals, which is just fine.

Harry Styles is Dropping His “House” Tonight, Complete with a Brothers Johnson Sample

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Harry Styles is dropping his “Harry’s House” album at midnight.

All the songs are by Thomas Hull and Tyler Johnson, with, of course, a dash of Harry in the byline.

One of the songs, called “Daydreaming,” is a sample/cover/interpolation of a Quincy Jones/Brothers Johnson song from the 70s.

Another, called “Boyfriends,” is co-written by Tobias Jesso, who’s made his name with Adele.

Harry is a fun, very likeable pop star whose music sounds like something you’ve heard before, but you just can’t put your finger on it. His hit, “As it Was,” is a cousin of A-Ha’s old hit, “Take On Me.” And you know what? No one cares! “As It Was” has been a big hit in spite of that or because of that. Today Harry played the Today show in the pouring rain dressed as a barber pole. Everyone loved it.

So we wait for midnight. But “Harry’s House” — which is no reference to the Joni Mitchell song — is going to be a smash out of the box. If there were a box.