Saturday, December 20, 2025
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Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp “Tourist” Shellacked in Reviews

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Well, that’s it for “The Tourist.” Sony Pictures is looking at quite a little disaster with the expensive Angelina Jolie-Johnny Depp star vehicle.

In his review just published, Todd McCarthy gives the movie a shellacking in The Hollywood Reporter. There’s nothing juicier than a bad review. Sony made some huge marketing mistakes here. Instead of trying to spin the situation, cultivate press, or smooth things over, they created an antagonistic situation and made it worse. Here’s some excerpts from McCarthy’s review:

“What’s served under a label promising first-class champagne tastes like last night’s prosecco in The Tourist. Staggeringly misjudged in virtually every department…”

McCarthy on Jolie: “Embalmed in makeup and elegant gowns that puts one in mind of Loretta Young and employing a reserved English accent that allows no possibility of genuine emotional expression…

[Director] Donnersmarck, along with his multitude of producers, must have dreamed that, with two of the most glamorous and best-looking stars in the business, he had a shot of making a modern Hitchcock romantic thriller along the lines of The 39 Steps, To Catch a Thief and North by Northwest. Well, dream on. No one here evinces the slightest feel for that sort of sly sophistication….

Looking puffy and unassertive, Depp never has registered less effectively in his entire film career. For Jolie’s part, the nature of her role doesn’t allow her to show her hand to anyone, severely limiting the extent of characterization. This is where wit and lively banter would come in handy, but this is more difficult to appropriate from old movies than is format.

Surely Donnersmarck did not set out to remake Death in Venice, but artistically, that is what has been achieved.

Also Owen Gleiberman writes in Entertainment Weekly:

“You go into a movie like The Tourist hoping for a feast of personality from the stars. What you get, in this case, is a waxworks version of chemistry.”

Anne Hathaway, Bradley Cooper in New David O. Russell Movie

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David O. Russell is hot right now thanks to “The Fighter” — totally set for the Top 5 Best Picture picks along with “The King’s Speech,” “Social Network,” “Toy Story 3,” and “127 Hours.”

Now I’m told that Russell’s next big project will likely be “The Silver Linings Playbook,” based on the novel of the same name.

Anne Hathaway has quietly signed on for this one. And now the word is that Bradley Cooper is being wooed for the male lead.

The novel, by Matthew Quick, is about a former high school history teacher who gets out of a mental hospital and is placed in the care of his mother. His goal is to win back his ex wife.  But he winds up in a romance with a kooky neighbor who also has mental problems. With Hathaway and Cooper set, all The Weinstein Company needs to cast is Cooper’s mother. Here’s my candidate: Jane Fonda.

Maybe one day Russell will get to finish the movie he was forced to abandon two years ago, “Nailed,” with Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, James Marsden and Jessica Biel.

All that wasted talent sitting in film cans because of greedy, petty producers.

Hear the Whole New Michael Jackson Album From Beginning to End

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http://www.michaeljackson.com/us/news/listen-entire-michael-album

You can hear the whole new Michael Jackson, “Michael,” on his website. You can hear the real “Breaking News” at a little after 25:00.

Read Liz Smith’s Tribute to Elaine Kaufman

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http://www.wowowow.com/culture/liz-smith/

“If you can’t eat a Dove bar now and then, life isn’t worth living!”

This is an Elaine Kaufman truism direct from the famous café owner who left us bereft last week as she ended her legendary saga. I continue with my report on the late Elaine from a book I wrote in 2005 called Dishing.

“I KNEW Elaine Kaufman back in the early fifties, when she was a waitress at Portofino in Greenwich Village. She was then in love with the café owner, Alfredo Viazzi, a charming Italian guy who was soon outstripped when Elaine left him and became a restaurant legend of her own. We have had many adventures since 1953 , or was it 1954?

“I have enjoyed a lot of caviar and smoked salmon from Elaine Kaufman over the years but it was a Tex-Mex evening that almost did us both in. Elaine and I once left the confines of New York to go to Fort Worth, Texas, where our pal, former TCU beauty queen June Jenkins, was opening a restaurant in the downtown, newly refurbished by Sid Bass, which is fondly called ‘Cowtown.’  (June is wed to the writer Dan Jenkins, who I call ‘the chicken-fried steak novelist.’ All of his wonderfully funny books contain prominent mentions of this Texas delicacy. His wife’s restaurant at the time also featured C.F.S. but leavened in some hot Tex-Mex.)

continued at www.wowowow.com

Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams Get Oscar Buzz from Pals

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Harvey Weinstein prepared to fly to Los Angeles today to appeal the NC-17 rating for “Blue Valentine.” He’s bringing his lawyers and a lot of charm. Really, the idea of an NC-17 for Derek Cianfrance‘s searing, serious drama is utterly ridiculous. There’s racier stuff on “The Young and the Restless.”

But I digress: last night, “Blue Valentine”–a Sundance crowd pleaser–got its official premiere at the Museum of Modern Art, followed by one of the great parties of the fall season–thrown by Oscar guru Peggy Siegal–at the “Boom Boom Room” atop the Standard Hotel (the whole thing sponsored by Stoli Vodka and Quintessentially).

Stars Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams were both there, the first time they’ve been together, I think, since Sundance. Their eclectic audience included everyone from  Lance Bass (not together) to Lord and Lady Astor, Parker Posey, Jonathan Ames (he writes the “Bored to Death” series on HBO), “Half Nelson” co director Ryan Fleck, the movie’s producer Jamie Patricof, and “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively, who is dating Gosling.

Both Ryan and Michelle are consistently mentioned for Best Actor and Actress nominations. Academy members should be studying their “Blue Valentine” DVDs–which just arrived this week–to see how good they are.

Funniest bit of the night: Peggy Siegal, probably gaga from giving screenings, lunches and dinners every day and night., mistakenly introduced Gosling to the Astors as “Derek Cianfrance.” Then he was introduced to a couple more people that way. A good sport, and very polite, Ryan then chatted up his new friends as Cianfrance. He got a kick out of it. “It was some of my best work,” he told us later. “And no one got to see it!” He added, amused: “But you do it for the personal satisfaction. That’s the reward!”

PS Listen–we’re all tired. At dinner at the Standard Grill, I asked the blonde sitting with Gosling and another couple what she did for a living. Everyone started throwing things at me. “That’s Blake Lively,” they all yelled in unison. They were so right, and I was so amiss. For the record, Blake was excellent in “The Town.” I will write it 100 times on a blackboard!

Scientology Needs An Actor for Its Pitch Film

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You know, most religions make industrial films to get new members. Doesn’t yours? The Jewish one was “Portnoy’s Complaint.” The Catholic one was “The Godfather.” The Protestant film was “Ordinary People.”

Now Scientology, which can call itself a religion based on its tax status, is shooting its own new pitch film. I’m told they do it all the time. They recently placed a casting call in the trades for an actor to star in such a film. Why they don’t call Tom Cruise or John Travolta is a mystery.

Anyway, the part is for a “Scientology Practitioner.” The description:  “Lead Male / 30 to 40 / Caucasian, Ethnically Ambiguous, Mixed, Multi-Ethnic     Looking for a handsome, athletic gentleman that has a military/rugged look with great stage presence and commanding voice. This is a very intense role so preferably with Theatre background.”

No mention of meeting Xenu, or even Travolta.

Pierce Brosnan, Kelsey Grammer Will Join Sarah Jessica Parker Film

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Exclusive: Sarah Jessica Parker‘s next feature film is shaping up nicely.

SJP starts shooting “I Don’t Know How She Does It” in mid January, with Douglas McGrath directing. McGrath is the congenial man behind the “other” Truman Capote movie, called “Infamous” (well worth renting), “Nicholas Nickelby,” and “Emma” with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Now I’m told that Pierce Brosnan has signed on to the Weinstein Company feature as SJP’s love interest. Also being made an offer this week–and likely to accept–Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey is wrapping up a long run on Broadway in “La Cage Aux Folles,” and ready for a new challenge. I’m told that TWC’s Donna Gigliotti ran into him in the last few days and literally told him he was coming to work. She wants him!

For Parker, this film will set the tone for her post- “Sex and the City” career. Her past tries–“Family Stone,” “Failure to Launch”– fell a little short, But there’s no reason why she’s not a movie star of smart romantic comedies.

Exec Shake Up at Sony Music; Michael Jackson Album a Factor?

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Well, Barry Weiss is out at Sony-BMG-RCA- whatever. He’s leaving for Universal Music Group.

Barry was not a popular figure at Sony etc. And in the mix of candidates to replace Rolf Schmidt Holtz as head of Sony Music, Weiss was a candidate without porfolio.

What figured in his decision to leave? It might have been the Michael Jackson album. Rob Stringer actually pulled it off. The album is done, and it’s very good. It will sell like hotcakes, or IPads, or something. Stringer may be poised to take Schmidt-Holtz’s position now. His only competition within the company is Steve Barnett.

Weiss had a major blow out with a favorite Sony Music employee earlier this fall. It’s gone unreported so far, but suffice to say the whole saga didn’t set well anywhere. It may have just been timing and chemistry. At UMG, Barry could have loads of hits and smooth sailing. The industry reshuffles fast. There are second and third acts galore. Good luck to him.

More to come…

Michael Jackson’s New Album: It’s Out, and It’s Really Pretty Good

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Michael Jackson‘s new album, “Michael,” is out. I have my copy. And guess what? An electronics store in mid town Manhattan actually put a pile of them on sale today by accident. They were a week too soon– or “Much Too Soon” to quote a title from the new album. Anyway, after I told them, they put it away. My copy didn’t come from the store. (I was buying a camera.)

The best thing about the finished album: “Breaking News” is great. It’s all Michael singing all the way through it. Sony screwed up the mix on the Michael Jackson website last month, which sent his fans into shock. But the real mix is clearly Michael’s vocals from beginning to end. It’s a very good track.

The other tracks made with Eddie Cascio, first conceived by his brother Frank Cascio with co-writer James Porte, are excellent. Both “Keep Your Head Up” and “Monster,” the latter featuring 50 Cent, are destined for singles. Again, they are clearly all Michael. “Monster” is destined to be a Monster hit.

The other standouts are the Lenny Kravitz recording, “Another Day,” and “I Like the Way You Love Me.” The latter is a different version from the one known to fans, and on the video in this column. It’s been totally re-conceived. And it has a nice snippet of Michael talking on work tape. This also is so ready for radio play–it will be a welcome addition to the airwaves.

The sleeper track: a little funk number called “Behind the Mask.”

Considering all his complaining, I was surprised to find Michael’s nephew, Taryll Jackson, featured on a track. On the album’s liner notes, the album is dedicated to “Michael’s children, Katherine Jackson, and the entire Jackson family.”

Michael Jackson Free Fan Event Planned for Monday in New York

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With UPDATES

Even in death, Michael Jackson continues to collide with Paul McCartney.

I’m told that Sony has scheduled a listening party for their new Jackson album, called “Michael,” for December 13th.

That’s the same night that McCartney is making an historic appearance at the Apollo Theater to promote the 35th anniversary release of “Band on the Run.”

Oy.

The Jackson event is tentatively scheduled for the Roseland Ballroom on West 52nd St. And even though Michael won’t be there, my guess is the place will be full. No word yet on how to buy tickets or how much they might cost.

The event is FREE to fans. It’s first come, first serve, although some fans will get tickets if they buy albums through Best Buy. I’m not sure how that will work since the album is released the next day, but I guess it will be explained. I am told that some of the producers and musicians who worked on the CD will be there.

McCartney and Jackson’s feud goes back to the mid 1980s, when Michael asked his lawyer, John Branca, to buy the Beatles song catalog. He did, and the rest is history. Or misery, depending on how you look at it.

Meantime, the “Band on the Run” gift box- with the remastered CD, unreleased tracks and DVD–is really great. It’s as good a gift as the Beatles box set for McCartney fans. And on Sunday night, those fans included Steven Tyler, James Taylor, Mavis Staples and Gwen Stefani–all of whom serenaded McCartney with his hits at his Kennedy Center induction.

PS Don’t start calling Roseland today. They have no info yet.