Monday, December 15, 2025
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Boston: Charlie Sheen Reaches Point of Diminishing Returns

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Charlie Sheen’s Boston show? A bust, by all accounts. The Boston Globe headline: “On Stage, Charlie Sheen Has Nothing to Say.” People left in droves, after Twittering during show that they’d gotten cheap tickets on StubHub. Some said it was “boring.” Pauly D from “Jersey Shore” showed up. After he left, Charlie–according to audience members– said “I don’t watch his show.” Otherwise, it was more of the same: trolls, warlocks, and Charlie begging for his job back on “Two and A Half Men.”

Here’s the countdown: end of tour is May 3rd. CBS will announce fall schedule ten days later or thereabouts. Last year the announcement came on May 19th. Sheen still has 14 more shows, ending in Seattle. (There’s no Los Angeles stop, they’re keeping him out of CBS and Warner Bros.’ backyard.) Sheen will have little time to hurry back home, and somehow recant everything he’s said and done, apologize profusely to Les Moonves and Warner Bros. and maybe even Chuck Lorre.

In the meantime: Last night’s best story comes from Rich Shertenlieb, a local sports radio guy, who got Charlie to come on his radio show after the debacle. But before the show, Rich Tweeted that he bought a pair of regular priced tickets in the second row a half hour before the show. He also Tweeted that a security guard told him he could bring a few friends up front with him.

The audience booed, according to reports, or just yawned. Everyone is “over” Charlie Sheen. He is the motherf**cker with the hat. How can continuing this be anything but a big negative for Charlie or the audience? And the show is far from sold out. During the day, Charlie’s Tweet master sends out messages offering free tickets to the show. Yikes.

 

 

Nirvana Movie: James McAvoy, Scarlett Johansson Still In the Running

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For a few years now there have been rumors that Courtney Love would exec produce a movie about Nirvana. Or at least her life with Kurt Cobain. I saw Courtney last night at Mr. H’s, the lounge in the Soho Mondrian Hotel. She missed the screening of the surprisingly smart satire, “Scream 4,” but made the party.

And another surprise: Courtney looked great. She’s in good shape, fixing up a townhouse in the West Village, making videos underwritten by Prada, and acting a little more serene than usual. Good for her.

I introduced Courtney to “Gossip Girl” star Matthew Settle, and later we wound up chatting with Meryl Streep’s two successful acting daughters, Mamie Gummer and Grace Gummer. Meantime, Curtis Jackson aka 50 Cent, strolled through–he’d hosted the screening at the Crosby Street Hotel with “Scream” star David Arquette, who was also in the room and looking as dapper as Fitty. Harvey Weinstein was pleased that “Scream 4” went over so well. (It’s a lot of fun.) “Precious” star Gabby Sidibe held court in the back room.

But back to Courtney: she tells me that the Nirvana film is still a live project, and she still hopes that James McAvoy and Scarlett Johansson will play Kurt and Courtney. David Benioff has a script Courtney likes, apparently. Who will direct and will produce remain the big topics for discussion. I know I want to see this movie!

As for “Scream 4,” it is a scream. Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson went back to the original, and recaptured the wit and satire. Arquette, wife (?) Courtney Cox and Neve Campbell are all back and just fine. Adam Brody has a cameo as a cop, Marley Shelton is very funny also in nitwitted police force, and Hayden Panetierre and Emma Roberts are standouts as are Mary McDonnell, Rory Culkin, and Anthony Andersen. (It’s a well cast film for a horror spoof.)

And yes, the door is left open for Scream 5, 6, and 7. And trust me, they’re coming.

 

John Travolta and Lindsay Lohan In One Really Violent Film: Can’t Wait

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There was a press conference today in mid town Manhattan announcing the reality of a new movie called “Gottis: Three Generations.” John Travolta will play Satan himself, violent killer and crime lord John Gotti. Lindsay Lohan is signing on to play Victoria Gotti, John’s daughter. The movie will be produced by Marc Fiore, whose only other film — a throwaway comedy — had a budget of $500,000. His company is called Fiore Films.

The budget for “Gotti” is not known, but Travolta is famous for perk packages that run into the tens of millions: private chefs, gifts every Monday, those sorts of things. Sylvester Stallone has long been rumored to be involved with this. “Gotti” is now a project so tacky and awful that it must be made. There’s no going back. It already sounds like the kind of thing you see in the market at Cannes, with lots of weird screenings and presales in weird countries.

Still to be cast are John Gotti, Jr. and the rest of this wacky, lovable clan. I say lovable because Fiore told the press conference audience that he felt the love from this family. By the way, Joe Pesci is going to be in “Gotti,” playing Angelo Ruggiero, whose claim to fame–besides of course murdering–is that he brought the Mafia into the world of drug dealing.

Flip Cameras Go the Way of the Pet Rock

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It seems just like yesterday that Rosie O’Donnell was freaking out about the Flip video camera on “The View.” Then celebrities were lining up at Jeffrey Katzenberg’s “The Night Before”party on an Oscar weekend to get their Flips in different colors. I met the owner of Pure Digital on a line at that party in the Beverly Hills Hotel. He had a wide smile. Then he sold his company to Cisco Digital, which makes routers for the internet. Today, Cisco announced it’s closing down Flip. It’s all over. Just like that. It seems that people are making videos from their IPhones and smart phones, and from digital cameras like Lumix (which takes better video than it does still pictures). No one needs the Flip anymore. This is really sad. Like the pet rock, the hula hoop, and the beeper, Flip is going into culture heaven. What will people do who still own one (like me)? Cisco says Flip support will continue for as long as people need it. Sniff!  PS I also have something called a Sony Blogger, and I have no idea what to do with it, either.

Carly Simon Takes a Fall, Robert Redford Sends His Best

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Talk about a convergent night: the amazing Carly Simon helped raise some big bucks downtown for Our Time, the organization that helps kids who stutter. Uptown, Robert Redford was at the premiere of his new film, “The Conspirator.” The connection? Redford is about to play Branch Rickey in a long awaited film about Jackie Robinson. Carly’s late parents, Richard and Andrea Simon (yes, Dick Simon was the founder of Simon & Schuster), took the Robinsons in during their first baseball summer in New York. When I told Redford that, he wanted to hear more. My guess is he’ll be on the phone with Carly this week.

Simon did perform one song at the Our Time benefit, and did fine. But later when she was called on stage to help with the live auction, Carly took a spill and cut her leg on the stage. There was blood, but luckily her boyfriend, Dr. Richard Koehler, was on hand. He rushed to the stage and helped the famed long legged chanteuse. She went on to auction off a lunch at her home on Martha’s Vineyard for $12,000. Also honored was “The King’s Speech” Oscar winning writer David Seidler. In the audience: Simon’s long time lyricist and pal, Jacob Brackman; actress Amy Ryan, and the sons of Yankee great Ron Guidry. Check out www.ourtime.org. …

As for Carly, she’s no worse the wear, as they say. And she just signed a major music publishing deal with BMG for her entire catalog of hits like “Coming Around Again,” “You’re So Vain,” and the Oscar winning “Let the River Run.”

…Meanwhile, Robert Redford was accompanied to “The Conspirator” premiere by his longtime publicist Cindi Berger, CEO of PMK-BNC, who was honored at lunch on Monday at the prestigious Matrix Awards. given by New York Women in Communications.  Some of the other honorees included Betty White and Gwen Ifill, and A&E president Abbe Raven. Each of Cindi’s mentors were there–Leslee Dart, who runs competing pr agency 42 West, and the fabulous PMK legend Lois Smith, who journeyed down from “the country” and blissful retirement to toast Cindi. Nice!

Later, at “The Conspirator” party at the Royalton Hotel, Robin Wright Penn, James McAvoy, Stephen Root, and Redford chatted about the film, which tells another side of the Lincoln assassination. Watch out for these performers later this year at awards time!

Chris Doesn’t Exactly Rock in “The Motherf—er with the Hat”

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So the f word, which already makes dozens of appearances in “The Book of Mormon,” is literally all over Stephen Adly Guirgis’s uneven new play, “The Motherf**cker with the Hat.” It’s not just in the title, but in almost every line of dialogue uttered by the mixed cast–mixed by means of accomplishment. Bobby Cannavale is Tony Award calibre as Jackie, who lives with but isn’t exactly faithful to Veronica (Elizabeth Rodriguez, playing the Rosie Perez part). Annabella Sciorra is excellent as Victoria, who’s been cheated on herself by her husband, played by Chris Rock, who is Jackie’s best friend and AA sponsor.

It’s hard to evaluate Chris Rock in this play: he varies from awful to trying to pull it together. He rants very well–just like in his comedy. As an actor, though, Rock is stilted and often hard to understand. He gets credit for attempting this, but of course, a lot of the audience is there to seem him. They don’t realize til they’re seated that Cannavale is the lead; Rock is on stage half as much, if that. You do wonder if a full time actor had been used, would Ralph D. be better? I think so. In the meantime, the show is almost stolen by Yul Vazquez, as Jackie’s maybe gay cousin Julio.  Cannavale is so good, and when he connects with Vazquez in their scenes, it’s like two lights blazing.

“The M*** with the Hat” is a slight play, coming in around 90 minutes without an intermission. It lacks a real ending, so it just sort of tapers off. Guirgis moves his characters through a pas-de-quintet, as everyone struggles with loyalty and love. It’s not easy. Vazquez is the comic relief, and it’s much needed in what becomes an increasingly fruitless exercise.

This kind of play is like an indie film, and felt more like it should be off Broadway than at the Schoenfeld on West 45th St. It would have been perfect at the Public Theater. Even with its many virtues, “The M**” doesn’t stand up to a play like David Lindsay Abaire’s “Good People.” The producers may have thought this too, but it’s too late. Insiders tell me that business is almost non -existent, the play can’t be advertised because of the title. “They thought Chris Rock’s name would do the business, but it hasn’t,” my source said. I sat in the front row of the mezzanine, and there were plenty of empty seats.

In the audience: Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld, Lucy Liu, Paul Rudd, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, whose significant other, Mimi O’Donnell, did the costumes. Also on hand, “Anything Goes” star Sutton Foster, who told me she was “showing up for my guy,” Bobby Cannavale. No sign of lead producer Scott Rudin, who doesn’t attend his own premieres.

Ricky Gervais on Future of “The Office”: He’s Not the New Boss

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Ricky Gervais is not going to be the new boss on “The Office.” He told me so definitively last night, at Chris Rock’s Broadway debut in “The Mother-you-know-what With the Hat.” Ricky, decked out in all black formal wear and looking sharp, said: “I could lying to you, but I’m not the new boss. Why would I move to California to get up at 6am when I already own the show? Hello?”

Gervais said that he will do cameo in the final show of this season, but it’s brief. He’s the same guy he played on January 27th, looking for a job. So who will be Michael Scott’s successor? Ricky said: “I already told you I thought Will Arnett was right for it.” But Will has a pilot to shoot, so then what? “I think it’s not who replaces Steve Carell, but who replaces Michael Scott. I think Ed Helms would be great.” Helms, who plays Andy, may wind up as the man. “But I don’t think there is a plan yet,” said Ricky. Hmmm…That seems unlikely, given that new scripts will be ordered soon for the fall season. But at least we know it’s not Ricky.

Meantime, PS: you think Ricky is jaded about celebrities? While we were talking, Richard Thomas–John Boy Walton himself– walked by. Ricky nearly flipped. He said to Thomas: “Your show is one of the reasons I came to America.” I think Richard Thomas was even surprised. He told Ricky, “I’m a big fan of yours, too.” So there you go. Who knew?

Regis Philbin New Show? Not Unless It’s Once a Week

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Regis Philbin has no plans to do a new daily show to compete with his current one. Contrary to reports, Philbin’s future work will be things that require a few days’ worth of taping, or a game show like “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.” Right now Philbin, who turns 80 in August, isn’t looking to ramp up to a full time schedule. He currently only works three to four days a week and has massive amounts of vacation–as it should be. I would guess the last thing Regis wants–and for that matter, his wife, Joy wants–is a grueling schedule of a start up five day a week schedule. Look for Regis to take high paying, classy low impact stints in the future, my sources say. And in prime time, not at 9 in the morning! PS If only Disney and ABC had made him a proper offer to keep going with Kelly Ripa in the morning–then we wouldn’t have these issues to write about!

Katie Couric Still Has to Do CBS “Early Show” Before “Today”

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It’s weird that Katie Couric will be doing a book promotion on the “Today” show this Wednesday. But she’s doing CBS’s “Early Show” first, tomorrow morning, to hedge her bets. Couric still holds out hope of sticking with CBS after she exits the Evening News in June. As I reported first — hello, everyone–Katie had been talking to CBS about being around for fill in stints and doing pieces for “60 Minutes” while she developed her own syndicated talk show for fall 2012. Thus, she must give “The Early Show” the courtesy of first appearance even if her Wednesday to return to NBC and Matt Lauer will generate more publicity. There’s been some talk of Katie and Matt Lauer re-teaming for some kind of “Regis and Kelly” type show if Lauer leaves “Today.” But Lauer’s departure seems unlikely. While Meredith Vieira is definitely leaving “Today,” Lauer is just doing a little public negotiating by reminding everyone when his contract is up. As several of my key TV sources have reiterated, Lauer will stay at “Today” and get a hefty increase in pay rather than cut loose for the uncertainty of syndication. All he has to do is ask Jane Pauley how it worked out for her.

Paul Simon’s New Album Out Tomorrow: So Beautiful, So Great

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If you’ve been complaining about how bad pop music is, how music from the “old days” was so much better, you can’t complain any more starting tomorrow. Paul Simon‘s “So Beautiful, or So What” hits stores and download services. You can get it from his website — www.paulsimon.com–or from ITunes, amazon.com, etc. It is a work of art, which is not unusual for Simon, who’s already created enough masterpieces by this time, from “The Sound of Silence” through “Bridge over Troubled Water,” a couple of my own favorites like “My Little Town” and “American Tune” through an under appreciated gem called “How Do You Live in the Northeast?” from his last album, “Surprise.”

On “So Beautiful,” Simon is full of rhythm, and he says it’s the best thing he’s done since “Graceland.” It’s subtle work, though. First we heard “Getting Ready for Christmas Day” and “The Afterlife,” the more obvious “hits” on the CD. But once the excitement of getting a new Paul Simon collection settles in, there ‘s a lot more. “Rewrite,” which he performed last week for Jimmy Fallon, resonates on many levels. http://tinyurl.com/5wqowed

This sublime album is full of wonderful intricate lyrics. My favorite though is “Questions for the Angels.” Simon sings of his character in the song, a “pilgrim”:

Downtown Brooklyn
The pilgrim is passing a billboard
That catches his eye
It’s Jay-Z
He’s got a kid on each knee
He’s wearing clothes that he wants us to try

Simon also references an old classic, “Homeward Bound.” What if he hadn’t gotten on that train in that song? Would his life have been different?

If an empty train in a railroad station
Calls you to its destination
Can you choose another track?
Will I wake up from these violent dreams
With my hair as white as the morning moon?

Questions about God, love, aging–not much fare here for teenagers. But plenty for adults. Buy this album, guys. It’s a treasure.