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Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp: Hi Ho, Tarnished Silver

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“The Lone Ranger” takes place in the 1860s, sometime after the Gettysburg Address. But late in the movie a band in Texas plays Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, written in 1880. You already knew two hours earlier that Gore Verbinski’s movie starring Johnny Depp as a pirate called Tonto made no sense, but this cinches it. That, and the endless rounds of machine gun fire available to the cowboys and Indians in this interminable film.

“The Long Ranger” is two and a half hours, feels like four, and if you could come in just 15 minutes before it was over, you could experience the best part without missing a thing. That’s when, finally, Armie Hammer rises up on his white steed called Silver, the William Tell overture plays, and The Lone Ranger yells “Hi ho Silver!” Really, it’s a two hour wait to get that point. And still the movie keeps going even when this one almost interesting sequence passes.

It may be key that first the William Tell Overture is played, followed directly by the 1812 Overture. The whole movie is an overture without a symphony. It’s endless, with little to no plot or character development. Just lots and lots of action, lots of explosions, flashbacks, flashbacks within flashbacks.

The whole thing is hung on a gimmick recalling “Night at the Museum.” A boy sees a display of a “Native Warrior.” The boy is dressed like the Lone Ranger. The Warrior is Johnny Depp stuffed and portraying Tonto in his later years. Depp resembles nothing less than Billy Crystal in “The Princess Bride.” If he started speaking with a Yiddish accent, we’d be totally in the other movie riffed on here, “Blazing Saddles.”

This movie cost upwards of $200 million. Disney tried to stop it once, and pulled the plug when they saw the budget ballooning bigger and bigger. That they accepted this budget is amazing. You do see the money on the screen, but it’s squandered on worthless ness. Depp plays Tonto as Keith Richards. (What else is new?) Hammer is good looking and purposely bland as the Lone Ranger because he’s second fiddle to Tonto.

And as with most of these summer blockbusters, it’s all played for jokes. Lacking a story or a plot, the characters have nothing to do but yuck it up. If I hear the expression “Not so much” as a punchline one more time, my head is going to explode.

There’s a vast amount of computer generated activity, too.  A lot of it looks very unreal, almost on purpose (but not quite).

Some nods to the supporting cast which comes and goes: Helena Bonham Carter has no idea why she’s in this movie, or which movie she’s in. She may have wandered over from “Les Miserables” or “Sweeney Todd.” James Badge Dale plays the Lone Ranger’s brother briefly, but is wise enough to exit early. William Fichtner and Stephen Root are largely unrecognizable.

How Disney got into this situation again just two years after “John Carter” is a mystery. Maybe “The Lone Ranger” will open better. But they’re going to have trouble in China– the Asians working on the railroad aren’t treated too well. And Americans may not be so keen seeing Depp as a bumbling American Indian. And American Indians won’t be too keen seeing their elders sort of laughed at. It makes you realize how much work went into “Dances with Wolves” and that was far from perfect.

Thursday morning box office results are going to be interesting. Go see “Frances Ha” this weekend, and “World War Z,” and “20 Feet from Stardom” and “Before Midnight” and even “Star Trek.”

 

Johnny Depp “Lone Ranger”: Early Bad Reviews Signal Disney Disaster

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Hi ho and away we go. Is “The Lone Ranger” going to be Disney’s “John Carter” of summer 2013? Yikes. Breaking the review embargo, both Variety and The Hollywood Reporter savage the $200 million plus blockbuster starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer, directed by Gore Verbinski.

Variety: “…this over-the-top oater delivers all the energy and spectacle audiences have come to expect from a Jerry Bruckheimer production, but sucks out the fun in the process, ensuring sizable returns but denying the novelty value required to support an equivalent franchise…”

That’s not all. Variety also has a lot of criticism for Depp and for Hammer. On Depp:  “With his bone-white face separated by four vertical black streaks, Tonto certainly looks distinctive, though his very appearance is what disguises the inherently Depp-like appeal of the character. Whether offering birdseed to his crow-hat or conning gullible white men into unfair trades (an amusing reversal on history), the actor’s bow-legged, pidgin-speaking Tonto needs more dynamism to register through all that makeup.”

Hammer is described as a “vanilla protag[onist].”

The Hollywood Reporter says Depp “looks like a mummified Christopher Walken.” And it gets worse from there.  Todd McCarthy calls “The Lone Ranger” a work that wobbles and thrashes all over the place as it attempts to find the right groove.” Both reviews suggest that a sequel is unnecessary.

This hasn’t been a good summer for tentpole movies. While “Man of Steel” has made money, it’s gotten poor reviews. Both “After Earth” and “White House Down” are duds. Early release “Jack and the Beanstalk” was brutally forgotten. It does seem like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas’s recent dire predictions are coming true about these $200 million colossuses.

“The Lone Ranger” screens tonight for most media. Here’s hoping the trades were overly critical. But it’s already scoring very low with critics and bloggers– 25%– on RottenTomatoes.

John Travolta Skipped Gandolfini Funeral to Promote Watch Company in London

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Last week was a strange one indeed when it came to James Gandolfini’s funeral. Forget Hilaria Baldwin and her non-Twitter non-scandal. Right after Gandolfini died, John Travolta appeared on TV to promote his awful new movie “The Killing Season.” He said he’d been in six movies with Gandolfini and that he would always take care of his family.

Travolta said on “Good Morning America” that Gandolfini helped him through son Jett’s death. So Travolta would return the favor. “My goal is to make sure that his family is okay,” Travolta said. “His little  boy, I watched him grow up, and his brand new little girl. We’ll just make sure  they’re taken care of.  That’s the whole idea.”

But this is the hypocrisy of Hollywood. On Thursday, when many stars — including Steve Carell and Chris Noth–came to Gandolfini’s funeral, Travolta was nowhere to be seen. The only member of “The Sopranos” who absolutely could not be there was Steve van Zandt, who was on tour with the E Street Band in Europe. His wife, Maureen, however, represented him.

Lorraine Bracco came in from Los Angeles, where she’s shooting “Rizzoli and Isles.” Paramount chief Brad Grey flew in as well. He was the producer of “The Sopranos.”

And Travolta? Moved though he was by Gandolfini’s death, the “Saturday Night Fever” star was in London. He wasn’t shooting a movie. He was being paid to promote Breitling watches.

According to a Breitling press release:

“Traffic on Bond Street stopped as John Travolta was presented with the scissors to cut the ribbon, flanked by 12 beautiful models as well as the Breitling Jet Team and the Red Arrows.

Following the store launch, Breitling’s guests were driven to world famous private members club Annabel’s in a fleet of 10 Bentley’s for a private dinner and DJ set by Isaac Ferry, where they enjoyed Louis Roderer champagne, a selection of specially created Breitling-inspired cocktails and a delicious dinner including Thai baked Seabass.”

Time, you see, waits for no one. Tick tick tick…

Jennifer Lopez on Dictator’s Bday: No Apology and Not Giving Money Back

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Jennifer Lopez is NOT apologizing for singing “Happy Birthday” last night to the Turkmenistan dictator. She also isn’t giving back the reported $2.5 million she made for flying over there and staging a full out show with singers, dancers, lighting, etc. This is what her rep issued today. Tell me if you see an apology there:

Jennifer Lopez and several other artists were invited and performed at a private corporate event for the China National Petroleum Corporation that was presented to their local executives in Turkmenistan.

This was not a government sponsored event or political in nature. The event was vetted by her representatives, had there been knowledge of human right issues of any kind, Jennifer would not have attended.

The China National Petroleum Corporation made a last minute ‘birthday greeting’ request prior to Jennifer taking the stage. This was not stipulated in her contract but she graciously obliged the China National Petroleum Corporation request.

Actually, CNP staged the event but it was a birthday party for dictator . And if anyone in Lopez’s camp had “vetted” anything, they would have seen the problem right away. What they saw was: money. Sorry.

Everyone has choices they must make. A couple of years ago, Sting was offered the same deal to play in Uzbekistan. He turned them down. http://www.showbiz411.com/2011/07/05/sting-smartly-skips-kazakh-concert-staged-by-unpopular-ruler

Lopez should have done the same thing. Her only recourse now is to donate the money to Human Rights Watch or Amnesty International.

Michael Jackson: Neverland Kid Told Me in 2005 “Nothing Happened” to Him or to Wade Robson

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Wade Robson is the young man who is now suing Michael Jackson’s estate. He claims Jackson molested him from age 7 to 14.  Thanks to the re-surfacing of old “files” from the old “National Enquirer” in the British press today, I had go to back and look through my files from 2005. And what I found is pretty interesting.

I met with a young man named Bobby Newt, a kid from the files whom National Enquirer reporter Jim Mitteager targeted as a Michael Jackson “victim.” By 2005 he was an adult, and I met with him. He told me nothing happened to him. He also added that nothing happened to Wade Robson, who was then going to be a witness in the trial.

Bobby Newt and his two brothers, who wanted to be the next Jackson 5, spent two weeks with Michael at his Hayvenhurst house in Encino (this was before Neverland). This is what I wrote:

“…nothing about what Bobby Newt hears now about himself or others makes sense.

“I don’t know what to believe. He had prime time with me and my brother in the guest room for two weeks,” he said. “And he didn’t try anything.”

As a footnote to all of this: In the small world of the Los Angeles music business, Bobby Newt recently worked with choreographer and alleged Jackson “victim” Wade Robson on tracks for his first album, a potential hit compendium of original R&B ballads.

“Wade is straight as they come. He’s getting married. And nothing ever happened to him, either,” Newt said.

Published April 7, 2005
Former Protege Vouches for Jackson

No matter who testifies next in Michael Jackson‘s alleged “prior acts” of sexual abuse mini-trial, the prosecution will have to deal with the fact that only one boy will show up to say he was molested many years ago by the pop star.

Now comes Robert Newt, 30, long a “Holy Grail” for The National Enquirer from its investigation into Jackson circa 1993.

Newt and his twin brother Ronald Newt Jr. (now deceased) were aspiring performers and spent two weeks as guests in the Jackson family home in Encino, Calif., around 1985. They were about 11 years old. This all occurred before Neverland was completed. Michael, Janet Jackson and LaToya Jackson were all there, as well as the Jackson parents.

Fast-forward to December 1993. The National Enquirer, desperate to get a scoop that Jackson has abused children, heard that the Newt kids once spent time with Jackson.

The tabloid offered the Newts’ father, Ronald Newt Sr., $200,000 to say that something happened between his kids and Jackson.

Newt, a San Francisco “character” and filmmaker whose past includes pimping and jail time, considered the offer.

A contract was drawn up, signed by Enquirer editor David Perel. Enquirer reporter Jim Mitteager, who is also now deceased, met with Newt and his son at the Marriott hotel in downtown San Francisco.

It seemed that all systems were go. But the Newts declined the offer at the last minute.

Ron Newt Sr., to whom $200,000 would have seemed like the world on a silver platter, wrote “No good sucker” where his signature was supposed to go. The reason: Nothing ever happened between Jackson and the Newt boys.

Indeed, no kids, no matter how much money was dangled by the tabloids, ever showed up to trade stories of Jackson malfeasance for big lumps of cash after the first scandal broke in 1993.

“Maybe there aren’t any other kids,” a current Enquirer editor conceded.

I met Bobby Newt yesterday near the office where he works as a mortgage broker in suburban Los Angeles.

Just as his dad promised me a few days earlier, he’s a good-looking kid. He’s half black and half Chinese.

Robert and his twin brother were likely very cute kids. They have the same features as other boys advertised as alleged Neverland “victims.” But all Bobby Newt remembers of his encounter with Jackson is good times.

And all he remembers about the man from The National Enquirer is that he wanted Bobby, then 18, to lie.

“He said, ‘Say he grabbed you on the butt. Say he grabbed you and touched you in any kind of way,'” Newt said. “He told us he took all these people down. Now he was going to take Michael down. That he would really destroy him. He told us he took all these other famous people down. All the major people that had scandals against them. He said, ‘We take these people down. That’s what we do.'”

Prior to Bobby’s meeting with Mitteager, Bobby’s father met with him and brought along an intermediary, San Francisco politician, businessman and fellow jailbird Charlie Walker.

Walker is infamous in San Francisco circles for being “hooked up” to anything interesting cooking on the West Coast.

“My dad said these dudes are offering this money to take Michael Jackson down. And the guy [Mitteager] said, ‘Say he touched you. All you have to do is say it. But you might have to take the stand. You might have to go on ‘Oprah’ in front of all these people. You have to be prepared for this thing. Just say it. And we’ll give you money,'” Newt said.

Two pieces of evidence confirm the Newts’ story. One is the actual contract proffered by the Enquirer and signed by Perel, who declined to comment for this story.

The contract, written as a letter, says it’s an agreement between the tabloid and the Newts for their exclusive story regarding “your relationship with and knowledge of Michael Jackson, and his sexuality, your knowledge of Michael Jackson’s sexual contact and attempts at sexual contact with Robert Newt and others.”

Mitteager expected them to sign, even though it was completely untrue and there was, in fact, no story.

He knew you were lying, I reminded Bobby Newt.

“Exactly! And he didn’t care! He was like, ‘Just say it and we’ll give you the money.’ And I was like, ‘He [Jackson] never touched me!” Newt said. “He [Mitteager] was really fishing and really digging. Think about it — most people you say it to, ‘We’ll give you this money,’ even [if it’s not true]. And they’d take it.”

Bobby Newt recalled more details of the 30-minute meeting with The National Enquirer’s reporter:

“He was trying to coach me — if I decided to take the money, what would happen. He said ‘You know, it’s going to be a huge scandal. You’ll probably have a lot of people not liking you. You’re going to be famous!’ But to me, you’d be ruined. And the truth is Michael didn’t do anything even close to trying to molest us.”

Ironically, the second piece of evidence also backs up the Newts’ story. Unbeknownst to them, they were taped by Mitteager.

I told you last week that Mitteager did more surreptitious taping than Richard Nixon. When he died, the tapes were left to Hollywood investigator Paul Barresi. His dozens of hours of tapes include a conversation between Mitteager, Ron Newt Sr. and Charlie Walker.

When I read some of the transcript back to Newt the other day, he was shocked.

“I said all that,” he observed, surprised to have his memory prodded some 12 years later.

Back in the mid-’80s, Ron Newt Sr. put his three sons together as a singing group much as Joseph Jackson did. He called them The Newtrons.

After much pushing, he got the attention of Joe Jackson, who agreed to manage the group. Joe Jackson got the Newtrons a showcase at the Roxy in West Hollywood.

Michael showed up and loved them. The result was a two-week stay for the boys at the Encino house on Hayvenhurst Ave., where they were supposed to work on their music.

“We would see Michael in passing. We didn’t see him, maybe, because he was working on an album. We saw him downstairs in the kitchen and we talked to him,” he said.

The Newtrons eventually got a record contract and recorded the Jackson 5 hit “I Want You Back” at Hayvenhurst. They also spent the night at Tito Jackson‘s house. But nothing about what Bobby Newt hears now about himself or others makes sense.

“I don’t know what to believe. He had prime time with me and my brother in the guest room for two weeks,” he said. “And he didn’t try anything.”

As a footnote to all of this: In the small world of the Los Angeles music business, Bobby Newt recently worked with choreographer and alleged Jackson “victim” Wade Robson on tracks for his first album, a potential hit compendium of original R&B ballads.

Jackson’s former maid Blanca Francia implicated Robson in the case during Monday’s testimony. Robson is not testifying for the prosecution.

“Wade is straight as they come. He’s getting married. And nothing ever happened to him, either,” Newt said.

He shakes his head, thinking about those who have made claims against Jackson.

“You have to look at these people, go back and see when their relationship with Michael fractured. The calls stopped coming,” he said.

And Newt should know. After the adventure in 1985, the Newts never saw Jackson again. It didn’t bother them, Bobby says, as much as it might have others.

“They probably didn’t like it. And this is their way of getting back at him,” he said.

 

Michael Jackson: “FBI Files” Are From People Discredited Long Time Ago

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Those “FBI” files in the UK Daily Mirror are from people who were discredited a long time ago. The so-called files that belong to an assistant to Anthony Pellicano come from Paul Barresi. I like Paul, he’s a nice guy. He was left a cache of files and tapes by Jim Mitteager, a “reporter” for the old National Enquirer which was under different ownership (not the same people who actually do ferret out some news now like the John Edwards story).

Mitteager, RIP, had no ethics or integrity. He often offered people money to make up stories about celebrities. I know this because I went back and interviewed a lot of the people he made files on concerning Michael Jackson. This was all in 2005, when Barresi shared many of the files with me during Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial. Some of the files were useful but most were not. And they weren’t because they weren’t true.

The Mitteager files were only interesting if you were going to check out their veracity. But apparently the Mirror — which come on, doesn’t care– just accepted the whole thing at face value. But all those people, like the La Marques and all the other ex Neverland employees, were totally discredited several times over. http://www.foxnews.com/story/2005/04/11/jacko-major-domo-lied-about-cashing-in/

Read that link above: even Barresi told me that the LeMarques made stuff up as they went along.

And then there’s this story: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2005/03/25/was-there-unknown-jacko-accuser/

 

 

Michael Jackson Slimed By British Press: Here’s the REAL Story from 2005

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I’ve been alerted to a story in the British press about Michael Jackson paying off 24 families of children he supposedly molested. Readers of this column must know that I have almost a PhD in Michael Jackson. The story is not true. It’s based on files left behind by a National Enquirer reporter, now dead, called Jim Mitteager. In 2005 I went through tons of Mitteager’s files, re-reporting them. A lot of it was just poppycock.  Read this whole column I published back then. I did a lot of work on it. As devil’s advocate, I tried to find someone who would say they were molested by Michael Jackson. No one would because, I think, no one had been.

From March 2005, c2013 Showbiz411.com

Was there a kid who made a deal with Michael Jackson before his first accuser settled with the pop star for $20 million in 1993?

Tape recordings left behind by a deceased National Enquirer reporter would suggest there was, but on closer inspection, it turns out there probably wasn’t.

In fact, the tapes show that there was a zealous push on the part of the supermarket tabloids 12 years ago to find any boy who might have been abused by Jackson.

This will be a disappointment for Santa Barbara County District Attorney Tom Sneddon, who has not been able to produce any other Jackson “victims” so far.

On Monday, Judge Rodney Melville will hold a hearing to determine whether or not Jackson’s “prior” acts can be brought into this trial.

If they are allowed, what could they be and where did they come from? And are they real?

Sneddon is prepared to subpoena every ex-Jackson employee and cop who was involved in the first case, even those who’ve since sold their stories to the tabloids. The result could be a veritable list of the supermarket tabs’ sources and leakers from a dozen years ago.

Like a tabloid Richard Nixon, National Enquirer and Globe writer Jim Mitteager taped most of his conversations about Jackson when he covered the story in 1993-94.

Mitteager, who was later dismissed from the papers for sexual harassment, talks to his sources and his editors very candidly.

The result is a revealing look at how the tabs salivated to get the most salacious story about Jackson, often disregarding the exact truth for kernels of plausible items that could be inflated into screaming front-page headlines.

Mitteager bequeathed the tapes to Paul Barresi, a self-styled investigator, trusting him to “do the right thing with them.” Barresi thought the tapes had value, but could not have guessed what historical importance they would acquire.

Mitteager inadvertently kept a record of much of what is in the news today concerning Hollywood’s underbelly. The tapes include anecdotes about many celebrities and lawyers, as well as incarcerated private eye Anthony Pellicano, who once worked for Jackson.

Barresi has a long history of involvement with the Jackson story.

In 1993, the pop star’s former cook and housekeeper, Philip and Stella LeMarque, asked him to sell their story about sexual abuse at Neverland.

The LeMarques, who were slight acquaintances of Barresi, had only worked at Neverland for about 10 months and left after the first molestation case broke in 1991.

Like many disgruntled former Jackson employees, the LeMarques are now on Sneddon’s witness list. The Quindoys, another couple who also sold their story, are ready to testify as well.

But Barresi realized early on that the LeMarques were probably not telling the truth.

“I concluded that it was all about the money and not about protecting a child from a predator,” he told me.

The couple, he said, began embellishing their story when they came to believe they could get $500,000 for it. In the end, they received nothing.

Barresi wound up turning over his taped interviews with the couple to then-Los Angeles District Attorney Gil Garcetti. They are now in the hands of Jackson’s prosecutor.

The coup de grace, Barresi says, happened later, when he listened to Mitteager’s tapes. On one of them, it’s noted that the LeMarques had tried to sell their story of child molestation at Neverland long before the first case broke in 1991.

“They couldn’t get any takers,” recalls Barresi. “But why didn’t they just go to the police?”

Often the Globe printed stories, written by Mitteager, that were based on the flimsiest of evidence.

Mitteager, at least in the case of Jackson, relied heavily on a sketchy stringer named Taylea Shea. Her veracity consequently became integral to a lot of tabloid reporting at the time.

Shea, who seems to have gone by a number of aliases and had a long list of addresses and phone numbers, could not be contacted for this story, despite many tries.

Neighbors at the Los Angeles address at which she lived the longest do not remember her fondly. They recall a hustler and con woman who was always on the take.

“She should be in jail, if she hasn’t been already,” one former friend and neighbor said.

On one tape, Shea reads what sounds convincingly like a legal document drawn up between Jackson and a 12-year-old boy named Brandon P. Richmond, who is represented by his mother, Eva Richmond.

Brandon, according to the document, received $600,000 from Jackson. He and Jackson would no longer have any contact with each other.

Shea read the document, which is dated July 1992, to Mitteager the following year.

This would have been a blockbuster, if true, because it would make Brandon, not the differently-named boy who settled with Jackson in 1993, the first of Jackson’s accusers.

Shea also says on the tape that the legal document came from the offices of famed Hollywood lawyer Bert Fields, Jackson’s attorney at the time.

No reason is given why Jackson and Brandon Richmond should be separated. The implication, however, is clear.

The Globe published the story without using names. Over time, it was assumed that Brandon P. Richmond was in fact Brandon Adams, a boy who had appeared in Jackson’s “Moonwalker” video.

Discussions on the tapes indicate that the tabloids also believed the two Brandons were one and the same. But there’s a problem with Shea’s story: Nothing adds up.

For one thing, a source close to Fields says the document uses language uncommon to their usual agreements.

Then there’s the actual family.

According to the Adamses, whom I met in January, they don’t know an Eva Richmond.

Brandon Adams’ mother is named Marquita Woods. And Brandon’s grandmother assures me she knows nothing of a $600,000 payment. The family has lived in a modest home in Baldwin Hills, Calif., for 30 years.

Brandon Adams, who is now 25, is a struggling actor. He appeared in “D2: The Mighty Ducks” and the indie film “MacArthur Park,” and is currently working on building a music career.

“I wish I had $600,000,” he said. “I’m broke.”

The Adamses pointed out that Brandon never visited Neverland, just the Jackson family home in Encino.

For a short time they were friendly not only with the Jacksons, but with Sean Lennon and his mother Yoko Ono, who were also part of “Moonwalker.” But the relationship seems to have ended well before Taylea Shea’s big scoop.

Was Shea simply lying to Mitteager to collect a big fee? It would seem so.

On the tapes, Mitteager tells an editor that Shea also has “shocking” material about David Geffen and Keanu Reeves, among others. None of it would turn out to be true, but all of it was tabloid fodder that spread to more mainstream publications for a short time.

Curiously, nobody I spoke with who worked at the tabloids could remember Shea. And her own alleged main source — an attorney then associated with the office of Larry Feldman, the first accuser’s lawyer — insists vehemently that she did not know Shea and had little knowledge of the case anyway.

Suddenly, the value of the Mitteager tapes takes on a new meaning.

Barresi, a sometime investigator and tabloid source in the past, is aware that he’s in possession of materials that demonstrate how the supermarket tabloids operated in their heyday — the era of O.J. Simpson, Jackson and other scandals.

But one tabloid editor still in the business cautioned, “Don’t paint all of us with the same brush. We did a lot of excellent work on Simpson.”

Indeed, though it’s hard to separate them in our minds, the Globe — then under a different owner — had a much lower standard of proof than did the Enquirer in the early 1990s. And Mitteager came from the Globe’s mentality, according to sources with whom I have spoken.

At one point, in running down lists of kids who’d spent time with Jackson, Mitteager rattles off the name of a boy with the conviction that Jackson, who had befriended him, must have also acted inappropriately with him.

But it was only wishful thinking on the part of a tabloid reporter.

It turns out that the boy was 9 years old in 1993 and died shortly thereafter from leukemia. He’d met Jackson through the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Even Jackson’s staunchest critics would agree that it is hard to fathom how this boy could have been the object of the singer’s romantic interests.

Read also: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2005/04/11/jacko-major-domo-lied-about-cashing-in/

and this: http://www.foxnews.com/story/2005/04/07/former-proteacutegeacute-vouches-for-jacko/

Jenny from the Communist Bloc: JLO Plays Dictator’s Birthday Party

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Jennifer Lopez is performing tonight for the dictator of Turkmenistan. Gurbanguly Berdimuhammedow is celebrating his 56th birthday by having Lopez and her crew put on a set. She’s the first entertainer from the West to accept the money– which will be in excess of $1 million plus expenses– to accept such an invitation.

Here’s Jenny from the Communist Bloc:

jlo in turkmenistanTurkmenistan has been described by the Human Rights Watch as “one of the most repressive regimes in the world.” But Lopez won’t see any of that. She’s performing at a $2 billion resort on the Caspian Sea built for Gurby’s pleasure. Lopez’s manager, Benny Medina, knows how to book a good gig, that’s for sure. AFP Agence France Presse confirmed that Lopez is there, and she’s probably in mid show right now.

You can read all about Turkmenistan here: http://www.hrw.org/news/2013/04/22/turkmenistanuzbekistan-abuses-international-spotlight

It’s not like Lopez needs the money. She was paid $12 million just to appear on “American Idol.” She has lots of endorsement deals, some kind of recording contract with Capitol Records, and a new movie deal. But she does have twins, and they must be fed.

jlo stage turkmenistan

Funny Females: “The Heat” Squashes “White House Down” to 3rd Place

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“The Heat” — with its funny female cops– squashed other box office newcomer “White House Down” on Friday night. But “Monsters University” beat both of them, thanks to school finally being out. “The Heat” made $13.6 million compared to $9 million for “WHD.” The “Monsters” flick was at $14.3 million. “The Heat” stars movie vet and Oscar winner Sandra Bullock with comedienne Melissa McCarthy as FBI agents. It’s supposed to be funny, and is. “White House Down” is supposed to a be a serious film about the White House being invaded. It’s funny, unintentionally. “WHD” almost finished fourth last night. It beat “World War Z” by a mere $39,000.

White House Down and Sony, Too? Movie’s Failure Could Fuel Major Spin Off Proposal

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UPDATE SUNDAY 12:10PM: “White House” down came in at 4th place for the weekend, taking in a meager $25million. That’s about a tenth of what it cost all-in.

EARLIER: It does look like “White House Down” will be the second blockbuster failure of Sony Pictures in less than a month. The studio is already dealing with Will Smith and M. Night Shyamalan’s “After Earth” after-birth. Now “WHD” aims for 3rd or 4th place this weekend in its debut.

Many things combined for its failure but mainly the story I told the other day about the earlier movie “Olympus Has Fallen” and how Sony, failing to buy that script, went after this similar one. Then, seeing the similarities, joked it up until it became as one Twitter follower declared “hillarible” (hilariously horrible). http://www.showbiz411.com/2013/06/25/white-house-down-will-it-suffer-second-movie-syndrome-to-olympus-has-fallen

But these developments aren’t good for Sony’s beloved Amy Pascal and Michael Lynton. They are faced with increasing demands from shareholder Daniel Loeb of Third Point LLC. Loeb– the third biggest shareholder in Sony–has been sending letters to the company demanding a spin off of Sony Entertainment from the rest of the company. (Loeb is also a minority investor in Penske Media, which own industry trade magazine Variety.)

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“White House Down” won’t be the last straw, but if it’s a massive failure–and things don’t look good– Loeb will use that. Third Point is a $13 billion hedge fund owned by Loeb. In May, Loeb launched a campaign to break Sony up. http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/may/14/sony-breakup-hedge-fund-daniel-loeb

In his latest letter he wrote: “While the Entertainment businesses are top performers within Sony, profit margins fall short when benchmarked versus their US-listed competitors despite superior scale and leading market positions. We believe the underperformance would be remedied by a more disciplined management approach to Sony Entertainment.”

All of this comes as Sir Howard Stringer, who supported and protected Pascal and Lynton, retires. He’s succeeded by Sony’s new CEO Hazou Kirai. At long last, the Japanese, who own Sony, are going to run it from New York.

Of course, Sony’s financial woes aren’t really tied to Sony Pictures. The film division had a monster hit with “Skyfall” last year and they have “Spider Man,” who will always save the day. “Zero Dark Thirty” was impressive, and Sony Pictures Classics, their jewel, has lots of Oscars and even a new Woody Allen film that will make for a sweet summer.

Sony’s biggest problems are in electronics. They were never able to turn the Walkman from tape to digital, so iPods rule the world. And while Sony makes a good laptop (the VAIO, which I bought this spring and love), MacAir is the dominator. The company banked on 3D TV, which failed. And the Sony Bravia TVs have been up-ended by Samsung, Sharp, and Panasonic.

Pascal and Lynton have one more shot this summer: “Elysium” starring Matt Damon, and directed by 32 year old wunderkind Neill Blomkamp of “District Nine” fame. This is the big one, and much anticipated. Everyone has high hopes for its release on August 9th. Blomkamp is young and a recent Oscar nominee. He has none of the bloat or hubris yet that comes with Smith, Shyamalan, and Emmerich. And “Elysium” may save Sony Pictures this summer.