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Madonna: $2.5 Million to Kabbalah, $10K to Jewish Big Brothers and Sisters

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Madonna Louise Ciccone Penn Ritchie so wants to be Jewish, right? She was born Catholic, and has never converted to Judaism. She wants everyone to call her Esther. She goes to fake Jewish services. Her stage set includes projections of Hebrew letters.

As the year ends, we can tell you that in 2009 Madonna spent a lot of money on being sorta Jewish. She donated a total of almost $2.5 million to Karen and Phillip Berg’s Kabbalah efforts: $2.25 million to Raising Malawi, the Kabbalah fronted organization run by the Bergs’ son, Michael, and sharing everything corporate with the Kabbalah Center of Los Angeles.

Madonna also donated $200,000 to Spirituality for Kids, aka SFK or Success for Kids. That’s the Kabbalah Center curriculum that recently attempted to get into the New York City public school system but was rebuffed.

On the other hand, Madonna gave only $10,000 to an actual Jewish organization: Jewish Big Brothers and Sisters.

This is all listed in the latest federal tax filing for Madonna’s Ray of Light Foundation. http://tinyurl.com/237qe3g

All told, Madonna gave away about $2.9 million in 2009. Most of it went to Kabbalah-centric efforts. The rest included $400,000 to the Los Angeles chapter of the Red Cross, and smaller donations–$10,000 to-$15,000– to the T.J. Martell Foundation (the cancer research fund in the recording industry), and to a health group in Maryland and the Boston Conservatory.

There were no donations to any AIDS groups, or to anything to do with music education or indigent musicians from MusiCares to the Grammy Foundation or even the local New York public school that her daughter attends–unless of course the donations were made outside the Ray of Light Foundation.

According to Forbes, in 2009 Madonna “had the fourth highest-grossing tour of 2009, bringing in $6 million a night and $138 million overall.” She earned about $56 million personally.

The Unwatchable Films: “Somewhere,” “I Love You Phillip Morris”

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It’s hard to say which is worse, but “Somewhere” and “I Love You Phillip Morris” are among the top 10 worst films of 2010.

“Somewhere” is a waste of a lot of talents, but mostly that of director Sofia Coppola and star Elle Fanning. It’s hard to say what effect at all it has on Stephen Dorff. I think he was this year’s Mickey Rourke going into the project. Not much changes for him coming out of it.

In Coppola’s fourth film, after “The Virgin Suicides,” “Lost in Translation,” and “Marie Antoinette,” the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola chooses the least important subject of all time: a self-obsessed, drifting 38 year old C movie star who’s living in the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood. He’s living there on someone’s dime, driving a (presumably rented) Ferrari, and doing nothing but getting laid a lot and sleeping in.

Into this torpid existence comes his 11 year old daughter, beautifully played by Elle Fanning, younger sister of Dakota. Like her sister, Elle Fanning is delightful and disarming. Coppola only shines when she’s working with Fanning. As with Scarlett Johansson and Kirsten Dunst, Coppola really works well with young women. If Fanning had not shown up in “Somewhere,” it would have been nowhere.

Does such a person as Dorff’s Johnny Marco exist? Oh sure. Is it of interest to anyone aside from Sofia Coppola? I don’t think so. For a movie star, Johnny is oddly sexless. Even the blond twins who wrangle stripper poles in his room seem strangely removed from any reality. The only edginess or danger in “Somewhere” is that the studio accountant might call and ask for receipts. I’d rather watch a whole season of “Entourage.”

Yes, “Somewhere” won the Venice Film Festival. And now you know why Venice is sinking.

As for the long postponed “I Love You, Phillip Morris”: it is entirely unwatchable. Jim Carrey long ago abandoned a serious career with “Cable Guy” and “23.” It’s painful to watch him in this dreadful, weird disaster. Whoever reads scripts for him or does development should be fired. Ewan MacGregor: who knows? No one’s ever accused him of a normal career trajectory. Even fast forwarding didn’t help here. These filmmakers were given money, credit, and energy to make a film, and this is what they came up with. Geez, Louise. There are people starving in China.

Ronnie Spector Is Still Rocking: Concert Triumph at BB King’s

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Last night, Ronnie Spector stole our hearts again.

At her 10th annual Christmas show at  BB King’s on 42nd St., Ronnie rocked the house. She was definitely in the “zone” as she and her band put on a sublime nearly two hour show.

Peppered with Christmas hits from her new album and from her Phil Spector days, Ronnie didn’t leave out hits like “Baby I Love You,” “Be My Baby,” and “Walking in the Rain.”

She is in fine form still at age 67, and cute as a button. Her voice, her sound, is a national treasure. Wow. Whoa-oh-oh-oh indeed. When she opens that mouth, a unique musical instrument is presented.

Ronnie did not sing Billy Joel‘s “Say Goodbye to Hollywood.” We were a little disappointed, and told her so backstage in her dressing room. So what did she do? She belted it out right than and there, in front of friends movie producer Diane Sokolow, Woodstock founder Michael Lang, and filmmaker Barbara Kopple–and yours truly. Barbara filmed it for posterity on her IPhone. I’ve died and gone to heaven.

Our Yoda of music, Jim Bessman, will have a complete report from Ronnie Spector and Darlene Love‘s respective Christmas shows at BB King’s on Monday.

Weirdest Movie of the Year: Joaquin Phoenix’s “I’m Still Here”

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So what was the weirdest movie of 2010? I’m not saying worst–there were many far worse for many reasons–but Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix‘s “I’m Still Here” was the weirdest, most unnecessary project imaginable. It was a hoax that didn’t quite work.

The two actors, very talented, are also brothers-in- law. Affleck is married to Joaquin’s sister, Summer. Affleck is a little more industrious in his career; Joaquin, with two Oscar nominations behind him, seems to be drifting.

The result is this pseudo-mockumentary meta kind of thing for which Phoenix bloated himself with milk shakes, grew a Hasidic beard (he resembles my old from the Lower East Side tenement landlord), and developed a permanently stoned look (not hard).  The real over the top detail: sunglasses that are Scotch taped together.

Phoenix announced in 2008 he was retiring from acting to become a rapper. Affleck follows him around as he makes a planned, fake appearance with Dave Letterman, and hounds P Diddy to become his rap record producer. Diddy is such a bad actor that he gives away the whole thing when they at last meet. He telegraphs it more than Western Union. By the time Joaquin gives his first rap performance, the audience is way in on the joke.

When Phoenix isn’t ranting, he has to come in to contact with other people. Those people aren’t so good at keeping the secret themselves. Is this “Borat”? Is is a satire of reality TV? Is it a tribute to Andy Kaufman? Does anyone care? Not much.

One thing that “Joaquin Phoenix” the character seems to be in is pain. If you could make it through this nearly two hour session of boredom, you’d see him visit his father, John Bottom , at what looks like the famous Florida cult in which Bottom and his wife, the former Arlyn Sharon Dunetz, now aka Heart Phoenix, raised their kids. It’s where “Joaquin Phoenix” goes to drown himself. Is he re-embracing the cult? Or indicting it? Who knows?

The boys spent money dough on this, and it does show that Casey is a pretty good director. Making an actual movie might have been better use of all resources, but hey–they’re young, they’re rich, and haven’t got much else to do, apparently. The real Phoenix will rise again, unless he wants to be Marlon Brando for this generation, stay fit, and live an island, occasionally saying weird things in public. It’s definitely more tantalizing than playing the Hollywood game, which I think Joaquin doesn’t care about anymore.

But there are other, more productive ways to show that than just goofing off. Look what Paul Newman did for charity, or Robert Redford, or even lovable Betty White with pets.

PS Kind of more interesting is that Phoenix, who is 36, has had a minder or male nanny for most of his life named Larry McHale. He’s in the movie. And Antony Langdon, brother of Liv Tyler’s ex husband, Royston, the brothers from a failed Brit rock group called Space Hog, follows Joaquin around and occasionally exposes himself. They’re the “Entourage” part of the story, except without the wit or irony.

Spider Man on Broadway Creator Julie Taymor Speaks

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Exclusive:

Julie Taymor is not concerned about postponing the opening of “Spider Man: Turn off the Dark” from January 11 to February 7, 2011.

“We’re happy about it,” Taymor told me last night in an interview. And why not? Even in previews, as a work in progress, “Spider Man” is a hit. It’s playing at 98% capacity, taking in almost $1 million a week.

The creator of “The Lion King” on Broadway and the Oscar nominated movie “Frida” says that with the holidays and cast absences, there were only “17 hours left to work until January 11th. It wasn’t enough time.” The show is putting on 8 performances a week as they make changes. It’s a little like building a house while people are living in it.

On Wednesday night, Taymor installed part of a new ending to the $65 musical. It won’t all be in until next Wednesday, December 23rd.

“We just got Natalie Mendoza back as Arachne,” she said, after Mendoza’s concussion. “She was out 17 days. We can’t throw it all on her at once. We’re also training the cover for her understudy. And we’re getting [star] Reeve Carney‘s alternate ready. It takes time.”

Now that most of the flying is in place, Taymor says the focus is on improving the book. “Every day we make changes, and you can see some of them now. But changes in our show often involve computers, programming. It’s not like here’s a new line, say this tonight.”

Taymor is trying to stay away from the vitriol expressed by some in the press. At the same time, she wonders why her $65 million musical is getting more of it than say, a $150 million movie flop. There are plenty of those right now. Sixty five million dollars, for a movie, would be considered cheap by many studio heads.

“We’re only going to have about 67 previews,” Taymor said. “A real Cirque du Soleil show tries out for 18 months and has false starts.”

Taymor promises that even by next week, audiences will see the fruits of their labors: more flying at the end of the show, much clarifying of the story in the second act, and a new breathtaking Spider web cast by Arachne around Spider Man. “You’re going to see Arachne more as the villain of the second act,” Taymor said. “But we had to wait until Natalie came back.”

Also, Bono and Edge from U2 will be back shortly from their U2 tour. They’ll determine if new songs need to be written. But Taymor says they will not be using any existing U2 hits other than the fun poke at “Vertigo.” “It’s all new,” she insists. “This isn’t an adaptation of a movie, like most musicals these days. This is all totally original, from scratch. “

“Dallas” Without Larry Hagman as JR: Forget It

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As a devoted “Dallas” fan from its golden era, I must speak up now.

There is no “Dallas” reboot for TV without Larry Hagman as JR Ewing. I’m sorry, that’s all there is to it.

I am fearful anyway of a revived “Dallas” that pits Jr and Sue Ellen’s son John Ross against Bobby and Pam Ewing’s adopted son, Christopher. Simply making it a show about warring cousins is not enough.

“Dallas” worked initially because JR and Bobby were fighting for the love of their father, Jock Ewing. Jock also had a ne’er do well drunk of a son in Gary, and a bastard son in Ray Krebs. The dynastic, patriarchal set up is what gave “Dallas” its frisson. And the fact that Hagman, as JR, was so deliciously over the top bedding hookers, madams, secretaries and business associates and putting the screws to anyone who got in his way.

The other great element of “Dallas” was its Greek chorus. When the show went off the air in 1991, I interviewed the two dozen of so recurring non contract players who made “Dallas” such a hoot, My favorites were Sly, JR’s secretary, played by Deborah Rennard, and Fern Fitzgerald, whose Marilee Stone, leader of the oil cartel, was brilliant. The lawyers, oil execs, waitresses, hostesses, etc are what underscored JR’s world. We loved it when the family went to the Oil Barons Ball or when the cartel came calling on JR with some lame proposition.

TNT can cast a bunch of young pretty people and it won’t matter. If “Dallas” doesn’t have Larry, Linda Grey, Patrick Duffy, and Ken Kercheval as the phenomenal Cliff Barnes, they might as well not throw good money away. (Hey, what Gary and Val’s kids, too, from “Knots Landing”?) “Dallas” is about texture and substance. The fans will not settle for anything less.

PS “Dallas” went off the air 20 years ago. John Ross should be about 40 (about the same age JR was when we met him).

Lawyer for Ken Starr, Hollywood Money Manager, Indicted by Feds

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I told you about Jonathan Bristol, Ken Starr’s lawyer at the Winston & Strawn firm, back in August.

http://tinyurl.com/3y22t7f

On Thursday Bristol was indicted for money laundering in Starr’s many cases of stealing funds from his clients. Prosecutors say Bristol helped Starr steal millions from ten clients, without naming names. But Uma Thurman, producer Marty Bregman, talent agent Jim Wiatt, and 100 year old heiress Bunny Mellon are thought to be among them.

Bristol, the indictment says, was failing to bring in business at his law firm when he hooked up with Starr in 2008. He then used escrow accounts through his law firm to move Starr’s client’s funds around. Bristol, they say, had no trouble lying to the clients that their missing money had been moved to other investments.

At the same time, acting as his attorney, Bristol was billing Starr in the millions. The law firm, in February 2010, wanted to see the bills paid by Starr to them. Instead of getting the money from Starr, Bristol paid the firm with money from Starr’s escrow accounts–from his clients. The indictment says that he used $100,000 to do this.

The total amount of money the government says Bristol moved around illegally from Starr’s clients’ accounts came to $20 million.

Bristol’s arrest could signal that the government is not finished with the miscellaneous players in the Starr case. Still not addressed in all this is former Democratic fundraising chairman Marvin Rosen, whose Marose LLC was also used to hide Starr’s stolen money, and Planet Hollywood founder Keith Barish, who–along with Starr- had to settle a huge civil case in early 2010 with the estate of Joan Stanton.

Also not mentioned yet it is the fate of Andrew Stein, brother of Hollywood Reporter and Billboard magazine co-owner Jimmy Finkelstein. Stein, a former New York politician, was arrested last spring with Starr but so far nothing has happened with his case.

Here’s a link to another great piece of reporting on Bristol: http://tinyurl.com/39ewnvb

Aretha, Say A Little Prayer: She’s Home from the Hospital

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Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul and dear friend, is home from the hospital and she’s ok.

Miss Franklin granted JET Magazine a short interview so we know she’s feeling better. She told the mag:

“I feel great. The doctors say I can do whatever I feel like I am up to do. Of course, that doesn’t mean any concerts or anything like that. But I can do things around the house, and today I am just piddling around the house.”

She’s going to go through eight weeks of recuperation and rest. Says Aretha: “I am putting Aretha together first. We will put Ree Ree together first. This is Aretha time to do whatever it is that I need to do. But I will talk more later.”

Countless celebrities have sent her messages of support  including Stevie Wonder, Oprah Winfrey, Tavis Smiley, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Patti LaBelle, Dionne Warwick, Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy, Condoleezza Rice, Shirley Caesar, Karen Clark Sheard, Dorinda Clark Cole and Vanessa Bell Armstrong.
She tells JET:  “There were so many people. I might not remember everyone’s name right this moment, but please, I want them know I appreciate their prayers.”

Aretha tells the magazine that she’s been relaxing by catching up on her reading, and going through her messages. “It is good to sit up, too. I also might make one or two business calls.  Not too much, just a teeny bit.”

Blake Edwards, Famed Director, Dies at Age 88

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This will not be like the famous scenes from Blake Edwards‘ masterpiece satire, “SOB.” A studio executive dies on Malibu beach, and no realizes it. Dogs and kids run around him, the tide rolls in and out, and he just lies there.

Blake Edwards has died at age 88, and attention, as they say, must be paid. Known as Julie Andrews‘ husband, he was a comic genius. He’s quickly remembered for the “Pink Panther” films, but the list is so impressive. “Victor/Victoria” is a classic. “Days of Wine and Roses,” a masterpiece. “10” was so popular it was like an earthquake. “Switch” is the best solo performance by Ellen Barkin ever. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is a cult favorite, memorable in every way.

And really, Edwards was an independent filmmaker, with a rebel’s heart. Like Robert Altman and Clint Eastwood, Edwards was one of the few mavericks who negotiated the studio system and never lost his identity. A Hollywood giant, Blake Edwards will be sorely missed.,

Exclusive: Mariah Carey Tells Back Story of How She Revealed Twins to Obama

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Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are having twins. Congrats! They broke the news last week to President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle.

Here’s the backstory, as told by Mariah to a pal who prefers to remain unnamed:

“After waiting as long as possible w/out confirming or denying the rumors as to whether or not we are expecting twins, I told NC he could confirm this on his radio show this am. (Yaaaay! All is well am seeing a specialist and had a great ultrasound last night! )
We wanted to wait because of what happened last year and the fact that its technically a “high risk pregnancy” when expecting twins so we really wanted to make sure we were all good first.
Last week I performed for the President in DC for “Christmas in Washington” which airs on TNT tomorrow dec.17th. Ironically, I opened the show w/my own composition for “Merry Christmas ll you” “One Child” : ).
After closing the show w/”O come all ye faithful” I stood w/ host Ellen Degeneres and the rest of the performers (NC was seated in the front row next to Portia + the first family)as well all listened to president Obama’s Christmas message.
After he spoke, the President and First lady joined the performers in singing “Hark the herald angels”as they exchanged holiday wishes with us. I hadn’t told anybody about the twins but decided to share the news with the Obama’s as it was a once in a lifetime moment and I wanted to remember it forever and share the memory with my children when they are old enough to understand how special that was:
I almost had to bind and gag NC so he wouldn’t tell the world right away (lol)so after the latest ultrasound last night I said ok and apparently he confirmed it on air a few minutes ago,judging from the flurry of activity on twitter!
I just wanted to let you know for the record and tell you our story,
Happy holidays!
Love,
M
PS-Im not sure how they’ll edit it but I’m pretty sure if the cameras were rolling you can see me whispering to the Obama’s on stage at the end of the song. That’s when I told them.
TNT dec.17th. A very,very nice moment : )