What is “American Idol” exactly? Is it a place to discover unknown talent only? Or can semi-professionals play too?

Tonight I’m watching the show and noticed a couple of oddities about the new crop of contestants who’ve been moved to the finals in “Hollywood.” As in “You’re going to Hollywood.”

Two sets of players are already in Hollywood, thanks. The 17 year old Sposato twins were extremely accomplished. Well, their dad is Frankie Blue, a long time Hollywood musician and composer. The family lives in Malibu. Frankie Blue accompanied his kids tonight as if he were just a random guy. According to his bio, he “wrote and recorded with Animal Logic (Stewart Copeland, Stanley Clarke), and ventured into the world of remixing and programming for artists such as Tricky, Garbage, Jamiroquai and The Red Hot Chili Peppers (Dave Navarro and Chad Smith),”

This doesn’t mean his boys aren’t talented. They certainly are. But they have a website, they already tour and record, and have been in business for four years at least.

Then there was Amelia Hammer-Harris, a very talented 26 year old singer. Her father was a famous but obscure early rock and roll singer and writer named Jack Hammer (real name Earl Burrows). She told the judges that her dad wrote “Great Balls of Fire” and “Yakety Yak.” In reality, he is credited as a co-writer on the former. But “Yakety Yak” was written by Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller. Jack Hammer did write a lot of other early rock songs like “Fujiyama Mama.”

Amelia had an amazing voice. Here’s a cover she does of “Crazy in Love.” At 26, I’d say there’s an argument that she’s far more accomplished than the other contestants. She should already be having a career. This may be her resume, in fact.

The number 1 most downloaded album or purchased CD of last week? You think Kendrick or Drake or Black Panther?

Wrong. The exquisite “American Utopia” by David Byrne is number 1 with 59,000 copies sold. No streaming. All hard sales.

(Regular radio, even FM stations that play Talking Heads songs, ignore new music by classic artists. It’s a shame. Call your local FM rock station ask for this album to be heard.)

The leader of the Talking Heads, writer of some of the most innovative and memorable music in pop history, has a total winner with “American Utopia.” Some of the songs– like “Everyone’s Coming to My House” and “Doing the Right Thing” — are so magnificent that I’d put them up there with Byrne’s most famous Talking Heads compositions. (And that’s saying a lot because there are MANY of them.)

Byrne is the practitioner of sunny paranoia. His songs sound upbeat but they carry dire warnings. “Bullet” rips through our hearts as much it does the subject of the song. “It’s Not Dark Up Here” could inspire its own “Get Out” sequel. “Every Day is A Miracle” — or is it? “The pope don’t mean shit to a dog” is one of many lines we’ll be quoting like “Once in a Lifetime” preoccupied us in 1981.

I keep circling back to “Doing the Right Thing” — What am I not supposed to do now? What’s that and is it my business? What exactly, exactly did you tell me? What’s good, does that mean it’s right? with its classic melody and soaring violins. Where Byrne used to grate to get attention now he softens us, moves in for the kill.

The music? These are sounds all those other guys on the charts will be sampling. Gorgeous, supple, ironic– and eminently original.

“American Utopia” is so good, you know it won’t be nominated for Album of the Year. It’s just too smart, too delightful.

Fame and success are fleeting, we know that. Sadly, 21 year old New Zealand pop star Lorde is learning that the hard way. Her American tour, going on right now, is a royal bust.

I say royal because Lorde’s only big hit was called “Royals.” Remember how everyone was so gaga for her?

Tonight she’s playing the Gila River Arena in Arizona. There are huge chunks of seats empty. You can buy whole rows almost anywhere in the building.

Things get worse as you go through her tour schedule, particularly in the New York area. You don’t have to go to StubHub, either. Just check Ticketmaster. For the Barclays Center in Brooklyn on April 4th, I was able to locate blocks of 24 seats together in almost every section. For other dates, it was possible to buy 8 seats together in dozens of locations.

What turned everyone off to Lorde? I do think it’s tied to her boycott of Israel. She decided not to play Tel Aviv on the advice of Roger Waters, who also boycotts Israel without realizing he’s instigating anti-Semitism.

Lorde’s decision was a  direct factor in her not being invited to sing solo on the Grammy Awards. She was the only nominee for Album of the Year who was snubbed. She tried to turn it into an anti-woman thing, which was ridiculous. When I saw her at the Universal Music after party I asked one of their people what they thought of her Israel decision. The exec said, “Why don’t you go there and ask her?” (I only didn’t because I didn’t want to cause a scene in a small space.)

But clearly, Lorde’s position on Israel has killed her tour. Do I blame her? Well, she’s young, she’s in an isolated place (NZ) and maybe doesn’t have the sophistication to understand the consequences of her actions. Now, I guess, she will.

What can I do about Don McLean? He is very talented. “American Pie” and “Vincent” are just a fraction of his career.

But listen, he’s a bad guy. So as he readies a new album, a single, a tour the bad PR is coming whether he likes it or not. This afternoon, Page Six “revealed” his 24 year old girlfriend, “Paris Dylan” (come on, that cannot be her name). Her Instagram account is filled with stuff about newly divorced 72 year old McLean. She’s younger than his children. He doesn’t care. Paris likes celebrities, especially older ones. Two weeks she was hanging out with Quentin Tarantino.

I wrote about Don’s daughter Jackie a couple of years ago when she published an online memoir piece about growing up with Don. It wasn’t a pretty story.

Plus Don’s wife of 27 years, Patrisha, divorced him (and scored $10 mil for time served) accusing him of domestic violence.

It’s stunning that Don McLean could write such nice songs and be so awful. Even his new song, “Botanical Gardens,” is good. Of course, the lyrics about hitting on girls.

I always say, if we’d known Picasso, we wouldn’t have liked him. This is where you have to decide– does the artist’s life influence how you feel about him? Is that a consideration? Or are artists exempt from judgment and normal behavior?

No matter how wonderful McLean’s new album is, his recent history will haunt him. The Page Six item was obviously planted to thwart a public ceremony next Wednesday in New Rochelle designed to honor him. All of next week he’s doing publicity– will those who interview him not ask about all this? (I would, so I probably won’t get an interview.)

But what the heck? Enjoy the new song.

Hanging with Quentin Tarantino tonight … and he loves David Cassidy!!! 😏😁

A post shared by 🌻Paris (@parisdylan550) on Mar 3, 2018 at 10:46pm PST

Rolling Stone Keith Richards. age 74, looked fine and dandy Thursday night at the Beacon Theater. He took the stage at Love Rocks 2, the brainchild of John Varvatos and Greg Williamson, and stole the four hour long all-star concert to raise money for Gods Love We Deliver.

Bill Murray, the de facto emcee, joked that the audience was raising money not to feed people in need around New York City, but to keep Keith Richards alive another day. But really, there’s no fear of Richards expiring from the looks of things. He’s in great shape. With Gary Clark Jr.–who soared on guitar despite a cast on a broken wrist–plus Robert Cray, Norah Jones, and backed by Will Lee, Paul Shaffer and a mesmerizing band of heavy hitters, Keef performed his Rolling Stones signature song, “Happy,” and a standout solo track from two decades ago called “Make No Mistake.”

The latter song was performed as a duet with Jones singing, but also with legendary Memphis musicians whose sound Richards used on his original recording — Charles and Leroy Hodges who’d just performed with Robert Cray.

The whole night was one of highs, with ovation after ovation for the likes of Mavis Staples, Donald Fagen, a trio of Emmylou Harris-Lucinda Williams-Norah Jones, Ann Wilson of Heart, Nona Hendryx, Jimmie Vaughn, Trombone Shorty, Valerie Simpson with Anthony Hamilton, Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top with John McEnroe, McEnroe’s rock star wife Patty Smyth, Andra Day, the Bacon Brothers, and so on.

At one point, Murray — who was sent on stage a few times to fund raise– started taking cash from people near the stage. It was surprising how much he got– certainly a couple thousand dollars in what he said were 20s, 50s, and 100 dollar bills. It was hilarious but we’ll see how the charity deals with it. It reminded me of Soupy Sales sending his child viewers to their mother’s pocketbooks.

These charity shows in New York with dozens of acts are often the only way to see real rock, blues, soul, country all come together anymore  in the hands of superstars. This show was no exception, with star and bit players sharing the stage and producing phenomenal, historic moments. Kudos to Varvatos and Williamson.

Keep refreshing Friday for video…