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Van Halen Looks Ready for Grammy Week Launch

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Get ready, because 2012 is going to seem like 1984. Van Halen is coming back. You remember Van Halen: Eddie and his brother Alex. Only back in 1984, when David Lee Roth was the lead singer, Eddie was married to reigning TV queen Valerie Bertinelli. Their son, Wolfgang, was born in 1991. Now hear this: Van Halen the band, with a reunited Roth, Eddie’s brother Alex, and Wolfgang, have finished a new album for Interscope. It was recorded all year — especially last winter and then mixed, and remixed–at Henson Studios in Hollywood with producer John Shanks.

Going by the enigmatic art work they’ve unveiled, the album will be released on February 7th, the Tuesday before the Grammy Awards. All signs point to a “surprise” appearance on the Grammy broadcast the following Sunday, February 12th. You can absolutely imagine producer Ken Ehrlich salivating over a show that opens with the first notes of “Jump”–especially since the rest of the show is going to be overrun by this week’s chart “acts.” (Maybe he can get the Van Halens to play with every group.)

The definite news: Van Halen tour tickets go on sale January 10th. All of this should be quite amusing considering that Roth, who always fought with Bertinelli, is said to despise her son. According to my sources, during the long, long time it took to make this album, Roth wouldn’t even speak to young Wolfie. (He turns 21 in March 2012, by the way. Feel old?) When they were recording last winter, the word was that Roth would not be in the studio when Wolfie was laying down bass guitar tracks.

So this should be as much fun as the Police reunion from several years ago, which also launched on the Grammy show. The only upside I can think of with a new Van Halen album and tour? That Roy Orbison‘s estate will get a lot of money for “(Oh) Pretty Woman,” which Van Halen covered in its heyday. The big question? Will the Van Halens let Roth, now 90 years old, perform his previously ironic medley (because he was young and they were songs associated with an older generation) “Just a Gigolo/Ain’t Got Nobody”?

There are many variables here, by the way. Van Halen had been rumored to appear on the Grammy nominations show on November 30th. But that was scotched and then denied. Their infighting is so notorious that it’s still possible none of this will come off as planned. The album that’s coming was almost on Columbia/Sony after not being on Warner Bros., their old label.

And the other irony: the Grammys are really a production of AEG Live at the Staples Center, an AEG house. But Van Halen is a Live Nation act. But it’s only rock and roll.  As they sing in “Jump”: “You got to roll with the punches and get to what’s real.”

By the way two identical websites — www.van-halen.com and www.davidleeroth.com–tour the new tour tickets and direct to each other.

Sinead O’Connor’s Latest Husband: Something Compared to Him

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In Sinead O’Connor‘s most famous song, “No One Compares 2 U,” she sings: “It’s been seven hours and fifteen days/Since you took your love away.” Now  reports come that Sinead’s most recent marriage–in Las Vegas, with lots of hoopla–is over after just about that amount of time. The marriage lasted 18 days, according to her website. Something apparently compared to Barry whatever his name was.

She writes: “Dear friends, I had for reasons u will all understand, wished to keep this private but have been told today it is to be leaked in the next few days despite my best efforts. So I must now leak it myself so as the record is straight.

“Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband’s life. And also by a bit of a wild ride i took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don’t drink. My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage. It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear.”

O’Connor notes, “A woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So.. U love someone? Set them free.”

She finishes her advisory: “He is a wonderful man. I love him very much. I’m sorry I’m not a more regular woman. I truly believe though it is painful to admit, we made a mistake rushing into getting married, for altruistic reasons, and weren’t aware or prepared for the consequences on my husband’s life and the lives of those close to him. He has been terribly unhappy and I have therefore ended the marriage. I think he is too nice to do so. And too nice to trap.”

And so Sinead beats Kim Kardashian and Kim Humphries, winning the title of shortest celebrity marriage of 2011. It wasn’t an easy task, coming in at the very end of the year. But this should prove that perseverance always pays off.

Box Office: Monday Was Huge, with “Mission: Impossible” and “War Horse” Booming

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Box office: Christmas weekend was desultory. But Monday, the day after, was a win win for nearly every film in release except for “Extemely Loud and Incredibly Close.” All other films were way up on Monday over Sunday, with “Mission Impossible 4–Ghost Protocol” increasing its audience 23% over the previous day.  “MI4” has almost $77 million banked after 11 days. And folks Steven Spielberg‘s “War Horse” ponyed up $7.5 million for the second day in a row, give the film $15 million in two days. “War Horse” has now established itself on the inside track. Meanwhile, Oscar buzzed “The Artist” directed by Michel Hazanavicius had a great day in its limited release on Monday. with a 25% increase over Sunday. “The Artist” is going to be an interesting release, because once people sit down and see it, they love it. And movies for kids went crazy on Monday, with both “The Adventures of Tin” and “The Muppets Movie” almost doubling their Sunday figures. I still think that the Oscar race is shaping up between “The Artist” and “War Horse.” They also have the best soundtracks.

The Artist:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2CUVBAS0Nk&feature=related

War Horse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybQ1AriiEIc&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=SPF988AC5BE88CADB8

Box Office Surprise: Spielberg’s “War Horse” Number 1 Original Film Christmas Day

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Steven Spielberg‘s having a nice holiday. According to Disney, his film version of “War Horse” came in at number 3 on Christmas Day. On its first day of release, “War Horse” was second only in per screen averages to “Mission Impossible.” It took in $7.5 million and came in third overall behind the sequel to “Sherlock Holmes.” And since “War Horse” is an original film, and “MI” is the fourth in its series, the Spielberg film was technically the #1 new film at the box office.

And Spielberg accounted for two of the top original films since his stop capture animated  “Adventures of Tin Tin” is doing well, too. But “Tin Tin” already made its money internationally, with around $250 million banked. “Tin Tin” was released abroad first and raked in its money because Paramount and the producers knew the characters were known and popular there. Here in America, “Tin Tin” is a specialty story; audiences are just learning about the characters. It was genius, really, to go take Europe first.

“War Horse” is a cinch for many Oscar nominations, by the way, having already picked up some Golden Globe nods and various other inclusions on top 10 lists. There’s talk of Joey the horse competing with Uggie the Dog from “The Artist.” This would make the Oscars a dog and pony show for real!

Lady Gaga Raunchy F-Rated Lyrics Even Mention Justin Bieber

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Here are the lyrics to Lady Gaga’s new song, “Stuck on Fucking You.” They’re from her website. It’s a fun song, but parents of younger teens and smaller kids who’ve come to idolize all the fun of Lady Gaga may be a little shocked. Imagine explaining this to your kid. Remember when this kind of thing was an underground bootleg that was hard to find? Now it’s advertised as a Christmas gift to the world. The song even mentions Justin Bieber, another teen icon. Kids, those days of innocence are over!

Got no plans, got no clothes
Got no piano, we got no shows
No, I got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Got no flights outta here
Got no TV shows until next year
No, I got nothing to do but to be stuck on you

Baby, you’re my liquor
I’m addicted to you
So I’ll just be stuck on, stuck on fucking you
Stuck on fucking you

I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl
Baby you and I, baby you and I could change the world
I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl to love
I’m stuck, stuck on you

Got all night, no cameras
We’ve got no champagne but we’ve got drugs
No, I’ve got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Purple sheets, cymbal clock
Gonna spend my time rocking on top
Yea, I got nothing to do
But to be stuck on you

Baby you’re my Johnny Walker, baby it’s true
So I’ll just be stuck on, stuck on fucking you
Stuck on fucking you

I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl
Cause baby you and I, baby you and I could change the world
I don’t ever want just another boy or a girl to love
I’m stuck, stuck on you

Got no plans, got no flights
Out of here, no t.v. shows
But we got mice in the kitchens
So we don’t care cause we’re in love

You’re in the shower, I meet you there
I buy you some hippie shit from the Deli downstairs
Lovin on my man’s space, so good

Don’t forget me baby
Don’t forget me when I leave and go outdoor
Cause I know your laugh will be a sore
You’ll be on stuck fucking this hooker/whore
This hooker, who who

Got no nothing, you’re in the next room
You fell asleep on my .. bed
But me and Fernando and Paul will just spend the day of making music
But I missed you

The fridge is broken but drinking warm champagne
But we don’t care cause we’ll in Minnesota
And we sold our show again

She´s too young and crazy too
He´s too old and torn out through
He is broken not ill insured
Her life´s a monster like on extacy
But if you think they will not do
Their path to heaven bogaloo
You´re just lost as non believer
And have to go to justin bieber…

“Tower Heist” Failure: Is that the End of Eddie Murphy?

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The tragedy of “Tower Heist”: a star packed action flick that’s made a disappointing $125 million worldwide. It should have made twice that number. And it had to, with big paydays for Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, director Brett Ratner, decent checks to Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, et al. The production budget came  to around $125 million. After all, they re-staged the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade here in New York.

And what does it mean for Eddie Murphy? He was/is one of the most effective comedians ever. His one man stand up shows in the 1980s were amazing. Even his smallish role in  “Tower Heist” showed glimmers of his genius. But as a movie star, it does seem like he is done as leading man. His presence in the “Tower Heist” promotions didn’t do much to help the film. Its $75 million US take (and its $50 million international) suggests that for Eddie, his name means less than it ever did to audiences as incentive for spending money at the box office.

Murphy has not had a real hit of his own since 2003 with “Daddy Day Care.” Prior to that. two sequels– to “The Nutty Professor” and “Dr. Dolittle”–in 2001 and 2000, were just over $100 million hits respectively. Hard to believe but those years were a decade ago.

But look at the rest of his resume–“Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Showtime”– it’s a list that isn’t even wanted in bins of $2 DVDs. “Pluto Nash” made under $5 million–isn’t that what Eddie spends on vacations? If it weren’t for the animated, ensemble “Shrek” films, his name would have disappeared a long time ago. Granted, “Dreamgirls” was a hit and garnered him an Oscar nomination. But Murphy didn’t seem to get it, or to like it very much. When he lost the Oscar, he got up and exited the Kodak Theater in a huff.

And Murphy made no effort to follow up “Dreamgirls” with a project that signaled his interest in extending his career or capitalizing on the momentum. The dreadful “Norbit” came out during his Oscar campaign and made $95 million by piggybacking on the Oscar press. But it was also considered the reason he lost the Oscar to Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine.”

Long long ago no are the days of “Beverly Hills Cop,” “48 Hrs,” their sequels, and “Trading Places.” Murphy is probably very, very rich so none of this matters financially to him. His next film, called “A Thousand Words,” doesn’t seem like it will do much to help the situation. The plot sounds like it’s a reworked “Liar Liar” (the old Jim Carrey comedy). And it’s leftover from Dreamworks’ Paramount deal.

Lady Gaga’s F Word Christmas Song Present to Fans

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Lady Gaga–who apparently is also being sued by her former assistant–gave her fans a present on Saturday night. It was a new song she put up on YouTube. Taken from the unreleased tracks from “Born this Way,” the song–catchy and well sung, of course- features the F word in the title. “I’m Stuck On F—-in’ You” can be seen here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXje0s_bOa4.

Gaga writes on the YouTube entry: “So to give you a little background to the creation of this song. I wrote it in Minnesota after the Monster Ball on the tour bus. We recorded it in one shot. Fernando on guitar, Paul on Drum Machine. I wrote, sang it, and freestyled the last minute + a half of the song.”

Is it vulgar. crass, coarse? Yes. Yup, it is. Of course, I am over 50. When the Rolling Stones tried to released “Starf—-ker” it came out as “Star Star.” But that was a long time ago. Enrique Iglesias had the word featured in a song this year. Gaga’s song also featured the word “shit,” which I will print here. She’s so talented, but will do anything to get attention. Just anything. Maybe she’s worried because Madonna is coming out with her new single soon.

Why does she do it? Baby, she was born that way. Says a lot.

Someone wrote on YouTube that this reminded them of Janis Joplin. Uh, no, not really. Not so much, to use 2011’s most overused phrase.

2011: Remembering Our Friends

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Well, I just watched the “Hail and Farewell” portion of the “CBS Sunday Morning” show. It was pretty good, including my friends Phoebe Snow and Nikolas Ashford, as well as Sidney Lumet. It’s hard to believe they’re gone. I can only hope that Phoebe and Nik are up in heaven, concertizing with Clarence Clemons.

But the CBS show–and certainly today’s New York Times magazine–missed a couple of people who were maybe less famous or important to them but incredibly missed. Elaine Kaufman died on December 3, 2010 and missed the Times deadline last year. I guess this year there wasn’t enough room for her. But we made sure Elaine got a great send off on November 30th when Dick Cavett hosted her memorial at Merkin Hall. Despite the imminent announcement that the buildings housing her 47 year old legendary restaurant have been sold (hello Dunkin Donuts or Bank of America!), Elaine will never be forgotten.

Last March, my friend Frank Dileo had open heart surgery at Cedars Sinai Hospital. That night he had a stroke in his asleep, and never awoke. In August he died after several months of restless sleep. Frank invented the Michael Jackson of “Thriller” and “Bad” fame. He managed Michael through the highs of his career, and no matter what happened he was the man upon whom Michael counted for counsel. Frank is often pictured with a stogie in his mouth, and tales of his wild life in the record business are notorious. But he was also a great, great friend, father, husband. There hasn’t been a day this year that I haven’t thought of him or talked to him. (And yes, he’s answered back.)

One other loss from the record exec side: Steve Popovich, who was Frank’s good pal from Cleveland and the man behind Meat Loaf. Steve sued Columbia Records several times and won each time, over his portion of the Meat Loaf money. He was a champion of the little guy in the music biz who helped create a superstar and then got trampled over and over by the labels.

A couple more friends, who came from the music biz. My neighbor and pal, Sunny Ralfini, who started out by managing Blood Sweat & Tears, and wound up running the Nordoff Robbins Foundation for auditory deficits. Boy, do I miss Sunny, whose name perfectly described her disposition. And Barbara Orbison, who died this month after a short, fierce battle with pancreatic cancer. She was a magnificent mother and widow (of Roy Orbison), making sure Roy had a postal stamp (coming in 2012) and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

 There were others–Sidney Lumet, who directed “Serpico” and “Dog Day Afternoon,” is sorely missed. Also gone: Gladys Horn and Marv Tarplin of Motown fame, Dobie Gray who sang “Drift Away,” famed filmmaker Ricky Leacock, music publishing legend Donnie Kirshner; and both of the men credited with writing the Rolling Stones’ hit “Time is On My Side”–Jerry Ragavoy and Jimmy Norman. I’m sure they’re still debating it in heaven, where time is endless.

The Movies You Must See This Weekend–Artist, Tattoo, Ghost Protocol etc.

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Here is a list of the movies you must see this weekend. And why. 1. The Artist–When we saw The Artist in Cannes, I knew one thing: it would be nominated for Best Picture and maybe even win. This is all coming true. Michel Hazanavicius’s film is silent and in black and white. It might not be til halfway through that you notice either. “The Artist” is so fun, refreshing, new, exciting, unusual, unique–there aren’t enough plaudits for it. Everything about it is perfection, right down to the typeface of the opening credits to the amazing set on which George (Jean DuJardin) runs into Peppy (Berenice Bejo) at the studio. You just look at that staircase, and how the meeting is staged, and know you’re watching the most unique work of art on film this year. You just give in. And no one can say a formula was followed. “The Artist” is a work unto itself.

2. War Horse–I loved Steven Spielberg’s rendition of this book, quite separate from the theatrical experience in London and New York. The movie is sentimental, yes, and also magnificent. It’s sweeping, beautiful, full of as many film references as “The Artist.” The New York Times seems to like this film, but made no reference to the actors. So I’ll tell you that Emily Watson is just great, and Jeremy Irvine is a find. There are lots of smaller roles, but Tom Hiddleston is outstanding here as the British lieutenant who takes Joey the horse from his farm. He’s also terrific as F. Scott Fitzgerald in “Midnight in Paris.” Let’s keep an eye on him. The “War Horse” cinematography is Oscar bound. The music is sensational. The war scenes are destined to be classics. This is a big, important film by Steven Spielberg. Let’s accept it as such.

3. Midnight in Paris–Among Woody Allen’s best work ever, a real homerun. It’s also just out on DVD. More about this in the next item.

4. Moneyball–Bennett Miller’s film from Michael Lewis’s book, with Brad Pitt, is my sentimental favorite. Pitt is the best he’s ever been. There’s a lot of talk of George Clooney winning Best Actor this year, but listen: he’s got a gold statue for “Syriana” as Supporting Actor. He can wait. Brad Pitt cannot. This is his moment. This may be the best adapted screenplay,too. The kind of movie you will watch over and over again.

5. The Descendants–Alexander Payne knows better than anyone how to adapt a novel into a screenplay. He takes underperforming novels and makes them brilliant on screen. This film is sharp and wise, a trenchant exploration of families, loss, and redemption. Clooney is good as ever. Shailene Woodley is a find as his daughter. Judy Greer gets what she deserves: a moment to shine. Matthew Lillard makes a welcome return. Robert Forster, the ultimate journeyman actor, brings the whole adventure in Hawaii some sense, as does Beau Bridges. I still don’t know why Michael Ontkean sits through his scenes mute. But he seems well, and happy.

6. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo–David Fincher has made brutal, graphic movies. So it’s kinda funny that he pulled away back here, making a tame version of the Swedish book and film. The main reason to see this is Rooney Mara, as Lisbeth Salander. While everything else works like a well oiled machine, Mara is the monkey wrench. She’s my “fifth spot” actress after Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Michelle Williams, and Viola Davis.  Plus Daniel Craig is top notch, Christopher Plummer can do no wrong, and there’s a nice cameo by “ER” star Goran Visjnic. Joely Richardson, who should be in lots more films, is an important part of this stylish mix.

7. The Iron Lady–Phyllida Law has made a great movie. You could have fooled me: I thought “Mamma Mia” was rubbish. But she’s fashioned a sensitive, layered character study–a love story–between Margaret and Dennis Thatcher. Meryl Steep and Jim Broadbent (who shouldn’t be overlooked) are the top of their respective games. They make this acting thing look too easy. No one liked Thatcher, but you might have a different understanding of her after seeing this film. (Opens December 30 in NewYork and LA, elsewhere mid-January)

8. Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol: People look at me like I have lost my mind when I say I loved the new “Mission Impossible.” The thing just rocks, what can I tell you? Get a lot of candy, a big soda, and kick back.

9. Albert Nobbs–I have no idea where you can see this film–at an art house, on video on demand. Wherever it may be, “Albert Nobbs” features two Oscar performances–by Glenn Close and Janet McTeer. It’s not for TV. It’s a movie. And it’s incredibly engrossing. (limited release until mid-January)

10. Hugo–People either get it or don’t. The amazing 3D, lively performances by Sir Ben Kingsley and Sacha Baron Cohen, the whole concept of resurrecting the George Melies film clips–go see it and make up your mind. Scorsese knows what he’s doing.

George Clooney Will Present Joel Siegel Award at Critics Choice Awards

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George Clooney has signed up for the Critics Choice Awards a special presenter. The director-actor of “The Ides of March” and “The Descendants”  is the first big Hollywood A list name I can tell you about for the January 12th Critics Choice Awards. Clooney, I am told, will present the prestigious Joel Siegel Award at the star studded event that’s shown live on VH-1.

Siegel, the late great film critic, is remembered with an award for social consciousness.Luckily, with several nominations, Clooney will already be at the Critics Choice Awards, so it won’t require a special trip. The winner of the award has not yet been revealed. Past winners include Kevin Bacon, Matt Damon, and Richard Gere.

I am told that all of the big name nominees will be present for the VH-1 show, making the “Critics Choice” awards the first big televised star-cast of the season. The show should be on a big network like CBS, but there’s a conflict, it seems, with the People’s Choice Awards that air the prior night. (This is so strange since “People’s Choice” is not considered a legit enterprise by the entertainment press.)

Anyway: the other big name set for the Critics Choice will be a “major rock star” to present a lifetime achievement award to Martin Scorsese. This will likely be either Eric Clapton, Keith Richards or Robbie Robertson. Sadly, the subject of this year’s Scorsese doc, George Harrison, isn’t available. But he’ll be sending good vibes from the beyond for his terrific “Living in the Material World” film.