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Books UPDATE: Kristi Noem Book of Lies Opens at Number 44, Drops to Number 107 on Amazon, Beaten Easily by MSNBC’s Jen Psaki

UPDATE: “No Way Back” will find no way back to the top of the amazon charts. Within a day the tome that describes the shooting of a dog has dropped to number 107.

keep refreshing to see how quickly it falls off the best seller list…

TUESDAY EVENING:

Kristi Noem’s book, “No Way Back,” has had a soft open on the amazon best seller list.

The book — filled with proven lies — has debuted on Amazon at number 44. It was easily beaten by a book written by a more respected public figure.

MSNBC’s Jen Psaki hit the chart at number 4 with “Say More: Lessons from Work, The White House, and the World.”

Somewhere in between are new memoirs from Whoopi Goldberg and Tom Selleck.

Noem’s book is doomed, I’m afraid. The publisher announced they were removing a section of the book “at the author’s request.” This was because Noem was caught in a lie about meeting North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un.

“No Way Back” is also the right title since Noem tells the story of shooting her dog when it misbehaved. She is loathed widely, even by conservatives who love their pets and cannot imagine committing such an atrocity. There is indeed No Way Back for the South Dakota governor.

He Should Know: Trump Calls All His Judges “Thugs,” Says Lawrence O’Donnell “Looks like sh*t”

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Donald Trump, tell us what you really think?

Om social media this morning, Trump called the judges in all of his trials “thugs” and labeled them “fascists.”

He should know, I guess.

Trump really wants Judge Merchan to put him in jail. He thinks it will cause a civil war. My guess is, one nutcase will show up in a MAGA hit waving a Confederate flag, and wind up in Bellevue.

Last night on social media, Trump ranted that he spotted MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell in court. “He looks like shit,” said the ever gracious rapist. I’m sure it irks Trump that O’Donnell is trim, nicely suited from a tailor, and has his own hair.

Hard, Not Soft: Billie Eilish Sells Out Most of Her $5 AMC Theater Listening Session Events for New Album

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AMC has scored again with a pop star after Taylor Swift and Beyonce proved so successful.

The theater chain is having 3pm live listening events on May 16th and 17 for Billie Eilish. She’ll be presenting her new album, “Hit Me Hard and Soft,” first in New York and then in Los Angeles in Dolby theaters.

The waiting lines for the live events — at the Barclays Theater in Brooklyn and the Kia Forum on the 17th — on Ticketmaster brought out 80,000 requests. Fans are still waiting to see if they made it. (Admission is free.)

So Eilish’s team and AMC decided to live stream the events in their theaters. So far, almost all the theaters showing the May 16th event are sold out. You’d have to go way into the suburbs to find a few seats. The tickets cost five bucks. Tickets for the Friday showings go on sale this afternoon.

We’re on a run this spring of hit albums by female stars. Beyonce kicked it off, then came Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, and next is Eilish. Who’s next? Maybe Lana Del Rey, who’s been holding an album. She came to the Met Ball on Monday dressed in a bee keeper’s outfit.

Will men singing rock and roll ever come back? Pearl Jam has a new album out. Green Day had a great one during the winter. But in pop Justin Timberlake tanked, and Justin Bieber is semi-retired. Rap stars Kendrick Lamar and Drake are just fighting with each other. Can you imagine if Jackson and James had put out diss tracks back in the day? That would be a great SNL sketch.

Sigourney Weaver Meets Steve Carell in A “Vanya”-Palooza at Star Studded Night for Lincoln Center

Wow!

Tuesday night Lincoln Center Theater put on the kind of star studded event that was a throwback to the good old days.

To raise money, LCT produced — in two days — a retro staging of Christopher Durang’s more hilarious than ever and Tony award winning “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” with most of the original cast including Sigourney Weaver, David Hyde Pierce, Kristine Nielsen, and Liesel Allen Yaeger. Plus they flew in Tony winner and TV legend Linda Lavin, who was joined by hot young actor David Hull. Tony Award winner Bartlett Sher did the directing with very little rehearsal.

The place for this was the Vivian Beaumont Theater, where the highly praised real “Uncle Vanya” is playing starring Steve Carell and William Jackson Harper.

In the audience at the Vivian Beaumont, on his night off, was of course, Carell, who’d never seen the Durang send up of the Chekhov play and was overwhelmed by it. He was equally overwhelmed when this reporter introduced him to Weaver at the glamorous dinner at David Geffen Hall following the show, creating a Vanyapalooza. Also spotted was famed comedian Robert Klein, legendary author Steven M.L. Aronson, other “Uncle Vanya” cast members including Tony winner Jane Houdyshell and Spencer Jones, and so on.

Bartlett Sher’s production of this hit, not seen since 2014, was sublime. Durang passed away in 2018, but this is his masterwork. It needs a film and a revival on Broadway. Weaver told me last night the comedy has never been seen in London and she’s willing to go do it (in between finishing chapters 3, 4, and 5 of “Avatar”).

Many in last night’s audience had not seen the original 2013 production which won Best Play that year at the Tonys (plus nomination for the whole cast). “Vanya and Sonia” turns out to have been prescient in 2013. Everything Durang was mocking and at the same time fearing about the internet, the climate, and so on have only gotten worse in the last 11 years. You could feel the audience leaning forward in their seats laughing at the constant jokes but also buzzing because Durang’s work seems more contemporary than ever.

(The basic plot: Masha, an aging movie star with five husbands on her resume, returns from Hollywood to the family home in Bucks County where her brother and adopted sister live. She bring with her a boytoy actor who almost got cast in “Entourage 2.” She wants to sell the house, the only place the brother and sister have ever lived.)

When “Vanya and Sonia” was on Broadway, Shalita Grant and Billy Magnussen were in the cast. They received Tony nominations but weren’t available for this wild night. David Hull, who’d played the part of boytoy Spike in Los Angeles, stepped in. But what about replacing Grant?

In from Los Angeles came Tony and Golden Globe winner Lavin, who had little notice, and didn’t know the show. But she took the stage like a champ, reading from her script but not really using it as she made Cassandra, the clairvoyant housekeeper, into an integral part of the story.

Listen, Sigourney Weaver and David Hyde Pierce are formidable actors, and they made it seem like they’d been doing this for weeks, not days. I have a soft spot, though, for Kristine Nielsen, who plays their adopted sister. She’s one woman comic tour de force and a legend on Broadway. In July she goes back for a third season in “The Gilded Age” on HBO, where she plays a Mrs. Patmore-like cook in the Russell (Vanderbilt) mansion. I am pleading with Julian Fellowes and that show’s writers to give her a real storyline this season. They are wasting a gem!

Errata: I don’t know who was more nervous in our impromptu meeting, Sigourney or Steve. They hit it off immediately. Sigourney told me she and Linda Lavin also became fast friends, are now texting each other, and plan to meet up in LA. Lavin stopped David Hyde Pierce and thanked him deeply for all his help in this hasty and incredibly successful endeavor.

In the play, Weaver’s Masha famously wears a Snow White costume for much of the two acts as her egotistic movie star character is going to a party down the street. So out came Weaver in the costume. But it wasn’t the original one. “That one fell off the truck” — wink, wink– costume designer Emily Rebholz told me. So she ordered one from Amazon, then got to work customizing it overnight for Masha. That’s how theater people react to a crisis!

“Succession” Meets “Stranger Things” and “Avatar” as Animated “My Love Affair with Marriage” Sets Summer Release

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Eventually “Succession” and “Stranger Things” had to meet “Avatar” somehow.

Now “My Love Affair with Marriage,” an animated film directed by Signe Baumane and featuring the voices of Matthew Modine, Stephen Lang, and Dagmara Dominczyk, is headed to theaters and streaming this summer thanks to MVD Entertainment.

“My Love Affair With Marriage” — a New York Times Critics Pick– premiered at the Tribeca Festival in June 2022 and went on to screen at over 110 film festivals around the world winning 25 awards. Baumane recently completed a 24-city tour around the U.S., presenting the film to audiences, holding Q&As and giving away original drawings from the film.

The highly praised film also stars Michele Pawk and Cameron Monaghan.

Set against a backdrop of historic events in Eastern Europe, “My Love Affair With Marriage” follows Zelma (Dominczyk), who navigates through a series of romantic encounters, each one shaping her understanding of love and marriage.

My Love Affair With Marriage was produced by Signe Baumane, Raoul Nadalet, Roberts Vinovskis and Sturgis Warner and executive produced by John Jencks, Adam Rackoff and Matthew Modine.

Tom Selleck Isn’t Going to Lose His Ranch, He’s Worth $45 Million Despite His Begging to Keep “Blue Bloods” on the Air

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I’m really gobsmacked about how gullible people are sometimes.

Tom Selleck was weeping on CBS Sunday Morning about “Blue Bloods” going off the air after only 14 seasons.

Hello? That’s the run of two successful series.

Selleck’s net worth is reported at $45 million — it’s probably higher. But he indicated in the interview that he had to keep working so he could keep his lavish 63 acre ranch in Ventura, California.

Give me a break. Now TMZ has picked it up.

Tom Selleck’s not losing his ranch. CBS Sunday Mornings, however, is losing its mind. After gabbing on and on about “Magnum PI” and Selleck losing the part of Indiana Jones in “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” the so called news show left out one important detail:

In 2018, Selleck resigned from the board of the National Rifle Association in 2018 after 13 years of promoting their message. He was a member for decades before that.

Might that not have been a subject for this ridiculous interview?

(Also PS, Selleck made $5 million a year making “Magnum.” He also made a lot of money on “Three Men and a Baby” movies, and so on.

In 1999, Selleck defended his stance on the Rosie O’Donnell Show:

“American Idol” Struggles with Ratings in Season 22, Down 12% from Last Year, Sparks No Cliffhangers

Sunday should have been a good news headline for “American Idol.” They had the highest ratings of the season so far — 5.3 million viewers.

But they are down 12% overall from last year. Even worse, the Monday shows really fall off from Sunday. This past Monday, the show fell by 700,000 viewers. The Monday shows are also down from last year.

“Idol” cannot seem to build a cliffhanger from Sunday to Monday. And the entire temperament this season is askew. One reason might be that Katy Perry is leaving to resume her music career. She’s either jumping from a burning boat or she’s caused the fire.

Who will replace Katy? Jennifer Lopez wants to come back, but ABC has to be smarter than to go backwards. Lopez’s recent album and longform video were huge failures. She looked drawn, almost gaunt, at last night’s Met Ball. Maybe she didn’t care for husband Ben Affleck’s performance at the Tom Brady roast. But JLo is a no go for “Idol.”

Last night Blake Shelton was on Jimmy Kimmel in a network cross-promotion. ABC has been doing a lot of this as the season finale nears, plus stunt casting, anything to get viewers’ attention. They have Jon Bon Jovi coming in as a mentor. Presumably, Katy will perform on the final episode of the season. (If she doesn’t, wow.)

So stay tuned…

Trump Freaks Out About Stormy Daniels Court Appearance in Social Media Post (Since Deleted)

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Donald Trump freaked out this morning when he found out Stormy Daniels is the witness today in his hush money case.

He posted a nasty item to his Truth Social, then deleted it. But the post is a veiled threat, and could be seen as another violation of his gag order. I’m guessing Judge Merchan won’t stop the trial, because this could provide series-high ratings.

To quote Dennis Yost and the Classics IV from Buddy Buie’s “Stormy”:

Yesterday’s love was like a warm summer breeze
But like the weather, you changed
Now things are dreary, baby
And it’s windy and cold
And I stand alone in the rain
Callin’ your name

Anna Wintour Didn’t Just Invite Celebs to Met Ball: Aussie Billionaire Anthony Pratt Spotted, Trump May Have Shared Nuclear Secrets with Him

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Anna Wintour didn’t just invite people like Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Lily Gladstone, and other celebs to the Met Ball.

Spotted on the red carpet tonight: sketchy Australian billionaire Anthony Pratt, BFF of Donald Trump. If you think the Kardashians are bad news, check this guy out.

Pratt is allegedly part of the big Jack Smith case, Trump’s potential next trial. Special prosecutor Smith says that after he left office, Trump discussed military secrets about nuclear submarines with Pratt.

Pratt made his billions as the executive chairman of Visy Asia-Pacific, a packaging and recycling business.

According to The Guardian: New recordings and documents – reported by Australia’s Nine newspapers and 60 Minutes programme as well as the New York Times – have shed extraordinary further light on Pratt’s relationship with Trump and other key global and Australian figures.”

The covert tapes included: Pratt’s claims Trump that had told him in 2019 of ordering an airstrike on Iranian-linked militants in Iraq, before it hit the headlines, and said that Iraq’s president had called him to complain. Pratt says Trump responded: “I [Trump] said to him [Iraq’s leader], ‘OK, what are you going to do about it?’”

Trump responded to these revelations by calling Pratt — who was seen in a pink suit tonight — as a “red haired weirdo.”

Read more

The reports suggest Pratt spent hundreds of thousands dollars on memberships at Trump’s private Mar-a-Lago resort, helping him cultivate a close relationship with the president and leading to regular private conversations between the pair.

(Exclusive) Met Gala 2023 Receipts Were Down by $11 Million from 2022: Is Interest Fading?

This is a surprise.

As Anna Wintour prepares for tonight’s annual Met Ball aka Halloween show, finances are becoming a big problem.

According to the Metropolitan Museum’s form 990 tax return, receipts for the 2023 Met Ball were down by about $11 million from 2022.

In 2022, the Ball produced $33 million, less a whopping almost $10 million of direct expenses.

But in the new filing for 2023, last year’s event netted just $22 million, although direct expenses were cut to $6 million.

How could the Gala generate so much less in 2023? After all, the ticket prices keep skyrocketing. Numbers like $275,000 a table are commonly heard.

Is interest in this hoary spectacular fading? Or is it costing too much to pay for celebrities, their stylists, and so on? Someone’s footing those bills, and it’s not the celebrities themselves, trust me.

Regardless, when the Met Gala is factored into the Museum’s total fundraising events, the final numbers are always in the red. Last year, the Gala weighed heavily on the bottom line bringing net income from all events to MINUS $7.6 million. At least that was better than in 2022, when that number was at MINUS $10.3 million.