TMZ is all excited today about some papers that were filed in the Michael Jackson wrongful death suit. The papers say the Jacksons want to exclude discussion of the paternity of Michael Jackson’s kids. Listen: I wrote about this on May 31, 2005– during the child molestation trial one of Jackson’s attorneys, Robert Sanger, said to Judge Rodney Melville: “The circumstances that relate to the birth of the children wouldn’t be admitted for the truth of the matter. Only his love of the children.”

We made a big deal at the time out of my scoop– that Prince and Paris were carried by Debbie Rowe after she’d used a sperm bank. Later, Michael did use his DNA and chose a surrogate for Blanket. Prince and Paris are not stupid kids. and they know they don’t look anything like the Jacksons. I’m sure this has all been explained to them.

But they are Michael Jackson’s kids, no matter whose DNA they are carrying. He raised them. And crazy as we thought he was — with the masks and keeping them out of the public— those kids have turned out to be extremely bright, well behaved, sophisticated, literate, and considerate. Last year they saved their grandmother from the greedy clutches of relatives. They were heroes.

They are one half Debbie, and one half Michael. And the combination worked. Anything else is meaningless now. Just read Paris’s Twitter feed. She never ceases to impress. And she’s funny. Prince is already working. They comport themselves beautifully. So let’s concede that they are Michael’s children, and that he did a much better job than anyone could have predicted.

My column from May 31, 2005:

When the defense rested in Michael Jackson‘s child molestation case on Friday, a very important issue that had been raised was lost. Defense attorney Robert Sanger as much as conceded that the pop star’s children may not be his own.

Just before playing a taped police interview with Jackson’s then 13-year-old accuser, both sides debated several motions in front of Judge Rodney Melville.

One of them involved what is known in court as the “Outtakes Tape.” This is the video that Jackson’s cameraman Hamid Moslehi made of Martin Bashir as he was filming his documentary, “Living With Michael Jackson.”

During breaks in the Bashir filming, Moslehi let the cameras roll. With his guard down, Jackson discussed his children and his plastic surgery with Moslehi.

In each case, courtroom observers got to hear Jackson tell Bashir that not only were his children born of his own DNA, but that he had slept with Debbie Rowe to conceive the two oldest, Prince and Paris. He said for the third child, known as Blanket, he had used a surrogate whose egg had been fertilized with his own sperm.

As we told you in our April 27 column, our sources have confirmed a tabloid story that Jackson’s children are not his biologically. But in court, this suddenly became critical, as the prosecution and defense argued about allowing the “outtake” statements to be entered as evidence.

That was when Sanger, quite startlingly, uttered these words on the record: “The circumstances that relate to the birth of the children wouldn’t be admitted for the truth of the matter. Only his love of the children.”

In a veiled threat, District Attorney Tom Sneddon told the judge that if statements made by Jackson from the “outtakes” were allowed in, he would call “experts” during the rebuttal stage of the trial.

He didn’t specify, but certainly Sanger and anyone who was paying attention knew that Sneddon might show that Jackson had lied not only about his paternity, but also about his cosmetic surgeries, of which he says he has only had two.

There was, however, little question what Sanger meant about “the births of the children.” If the circumstances as Jackson had described them could not be held out as true, then there could be only one other explanation: They were false.

Here’s if not a first, something unusual. The ticket sales for Roman Coppola’s film, “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III” were so bad–actually almost non-existent, that its distributor only reported results once. The film, intended to show that star Charlie Sheen still had drawing power and fans after his personal crash in 2011, was sent to theaters. But no one came.

After the first week on February 8th, fledgling studio A24 Pictures reported earnings of $12,000. The second week, initially there were no reports. This column inquired, and was told that by February 17th, the movie had made $35,000. That was the last anyone heard from “Charles Swan III” or Charlie Sheen.

Since then, A24 has released “Ginger and Rosa,” a good little film, to poor results. But they may have a real success with Harmony Korine’s “Spring Breakers,” which got great reviews and broke indie art house records last weekend in New York and L.A. It will go into more cities this weekend, and features a knockout performance by James Franco.

But “Charles Swan” is gone. Bill Murray, Patricia Arquette, and Jason Schwartzman–the director’s cousin– are all in it. So is Sheen, who could probably absorb the whole loss and not miss it. But millions have been squandered. And it’s pretty clear that Sheen does not have an automatic audience pining to see him on the big screen.

The film, by the way, was entirely unwatchable. Just in case you wondered.

EXCLUSIVE Lindsay Lohan — and some other B list celebs like LaToya Jackson– has found a new source of money from a China billionaire transplanted to Los Angeles. On Monday morning, Lohan Tweeted a thank you to  “Mr Pink” for getting her a private plane from New York to her court date in Los Angeles. Mr. Pink is a California-only distributed ginseng drink that is owned, sources tell me, by a Chinese billionaire and former entertainer who has money to burn.

My source says that last fall, Poe Qui Ying Wangsuo of Monterey Park, California– alleged to be the enigmatic owner of Mr Pink–threw a lavish promotional party in Beverly Hills for the product just because he could. Mr Pink, my source says, paid Lohan over $75,000 to come to the product presentation. The company also paid $21,000 for her private plane to LA. That’s also what he paid on Monday morning to fly Lohan in for the court date.

All the money is negligible to Wangsuo. A source says: “He spent half a million dollars for the party, and $3 million to date to launch Mr Pink, and it’s only available in California. They just want to go out and party. [As far as marketing and selling a new drink] they have no idea what they’re doing.”

Mr. Pink is owned by Wangsuo but run by him and three men under the name Kings Investment Group LLC. They are all based in LA. Their names are Artur Arenyan, Kaine Wen, and Farhad Novanian. Arenyan, who works in the beverage business, got Wang Sou into Mr Pink, I am told.

Wangsuo  loves celebrities, my sources say. To rub shoulders with the rich and famous, he donated $35,800to the Obama Victory Fund in 2011 at a Hollywood fundraiser. But Wangsou keeps a low profile. He leaves the high life to his Romanian girlfriend, known as Monica Gabor. But he counts among his pals Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky, with whom Wangsuo hoped to launch Mr Pink in Canada.

Lohan’s involvement is key.  With little work and bills to pay, she must rely on her notoriety to make money. Mr Pink doesn’t seem to mind. It gets his brand attention even if you can only buy it on the west coast. “It’s a vanity product,” says a source, “It’s not meant to be a success. Wangsuo has $2.7 billion. He wants to party and be with celebrities.”

After Lohan arrived in LA this morning, she Tweeted both Mr Pink and WangSou’s party planner, Sheeraz Hasan.

Hasan has a couple of websites including one called www.hollywood.tv. (Hasan didn’t respond to my emails.)  However, one look at the website and you see that Hasan has had his picture taken with every living celebrity and famous politician. Most of the shots look like standard set ups– he waits on lines, has a standard picture taken with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and then posts the pictures to make it seem like he’s their best friend. Maybe he is, who knows? I won’t deny him those relationships.

According to his website, Sheeraz Hasan’s customized services include: Creating the coolness factor for your brand, something called Paparazzi On Call, and Celebrity Booking for Private Engagements, parties, events, etc. He also gives Investment Advice. You’ll be happy to know that:

“Sheeraz, Inc. has the Hollywood paparazzi on direct dial any time of the day. Whether you happen to be in Los Angeles, London, or Miami, we are able to create a paparazzi media frenzy to highlight and publicize your profile to the mass media. This service is available 24 hours a day.”
And Hollywood.tv– it’s sort of a lower rent version of TMZ (that’s like penny slots vs. nickel slots).

Prince, Paris, and Blanket probably didn’t realize when they endorsed Mr. Pink that it’s tied to Hollywood.tv, and that the site keeps up a famous amateur video of their father being removed by ambulance from their house after he died.

One of the Real Housewives of New York–women who are not and never have been housewives– says she knows which ones will go and which will stay when filming for their next season commences. Mind you, I have never written a word ever about any of the Real Housewives shows. I have never seen a minute of any of the editions, even when I accidentally appeared in the first episode of the Beverly Hills show when Kelsey Grammer got filmed during his premiere of “La Cage aux Folles” on Broadway a couple of years ago.

But over the weekend, I did meet Sonja Tremont Morgan, who is on the New York show, and is trying to market a Toaster Oven. So far, the Toaster Oven has not appeared, and even though she explained to me all her marketing ideas, I’m still not sure why GE or DeLonghi or Sunbeam hasn’t come along and branded one of their existing Toaster Ovens with her name. It would make a lot of sense, no?

In my life I have actually known two women who became “housewives.” I knew Bethany Frankel, slightly, before she got on the show. And I’ve known the wonderful Carole Radziwill a long time– even though I’ve never seen her on the show. I would rather be forced to watch The Knitting Channel.

Anyway, Ms. Morgan was a delightful dinner companion. She told me she’d been married to the great great grandson of John Quincy Adams, who was also descended from J.P. Morgan. Right away, this is pretty amazing. She is, by checking, 50 years old this year. She looks 40. However, Mr. Morgan is 83. Their marriage produced a child, but was brief. “He had a car accident, almost died, was in a coma,” she told me. “When he woke up, he had amnesia and didn’t remember me or his daughter.”

Wow! Isn’t that a screenplay? Why hasn’t she produced that movie, or sold the rights, I wondered? It turns out she once did promise to produce a movie, didn’t do it, and was sued by the people involved. She lost millions.

Anyway, back to “Real Housewives.” I didn’t know who they were, but Sonja Morgan says she could guess who will be ‘out’ for the next season. “LuAnn and Heather,” she said. LuAnn is a Berlin, Connecticut girl who married a real life Count, named deLesseps. He divorced her, however. Now she is known as Countess LuAnn deLesseps.  And Heather is a woman who is suing the owner of Spanx, the form fitting underwear, for allegedly stealing her idea. Heather Thomson has a company called “Yummie Tummies.”

We are not at the Oscars anymore, you dig?

A friend of mine insists: “This is big, big news.” So I am telling you. It’s Sunday and the Yankees have already played. So I have time for this.

Please, someone, make this Toaster Oven. Sonja has whole lines of things she’s ready to license: aprons, napkins, blenders, etc. We are ready. John Quincy Adams is ready. So is J.P. Morgan.