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FBI Help Wanted: Posts Ads Looking for Cyber Specialists: “Discover why, more than ever, an FBI cyber career is for you”

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Is this really the way they do it? The FBI is posting help wanted ads looking for special agents who are cyber specialists.

The ads implore potential employees: “Discover why, more than ever, an FBI cyber career is for you.”
Special Agent Minimum Requirements:

Must be between the ages of 23 and 36 1/2
Must have a bachelor’s degree from a U.S accredited college/university
Must have three (3) years of full-time work experience in one or more of the area(s) listed below**
Must be available for assignment anywhere in the FBI’s jurisdiction
Must be in excellent physical condition with the ability to pass a rigorous physical fitness test
Must meet all other requirements for the Special Agent position

There’s no mention of typing skills. But I’d guess a minimum of 20 words a minute.

Computer Scientist:
Highlights:

8-week training course in Quantico, VA
Legal and ethical training for investigations
Advanced malware reverse engineering analysis
Intrusion detection and investigation techniques
Digital forensic and evidence gathering techniques

Computer Scientist Minimum Requirements:

Must have a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science or any degree with 30 semester hours in a combination of mathematics, statistics, and computer science. Fifteen of those hours must include differential and integral calculus.

Internship Requirements:

Must be enrolled full-time in an accredited school or university
Must be a college sophomore, junior, senior or graduate student at the time of hire. (A participant cannot be graduating before the program begins)
Must have a 3.0 GPA at the time of application

Not sure if this is paid or unpaid. Must know Windows Vista and xywrite*. (*this an inside joke for writers who used computers in the late 1980s.)

Box Office: Clint Eastwood’s “American Sniper” Scores Big, Jolie’s “Unbroken” Scores Weekend Win

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Christmas weekend is over and the numbers are in: Angelina Jolie’s “Unbroken” took in $48 million and won hands down. In its very small release– just 4 theatres– Clint Eastwood’s “American Sniper” raked in a whopping $850,000. Each is a very American movie, and very very good despite efforts from all sides to snark them down.

Meanwhile, the final “Hobbit” movie picked up steam after a slow start and now has $168 million in the bank. After running behind its predecessors, “Hobbit” is now ahead of them. The Tolkien gang took a few moments before it was energized. Both “Sniper” and “Hobbit” are from Warner Bros. where co-chief Sue Kroll is her very own Lord of the Ring. She works magic.

With “Sniper,” Bradley Cooper keeps looming larger for an Oscar nom. I told you this 10 days ago.

And what about “The Interview”? In 330 theaters it made $2.85 million. Most of it came on Thursday, opening day. Every day since has shown a decrease as word of mouth spread. Who knows about the digital side? It’s number 2 at the Google Play store.

And keep an eye on “Selma”: the most important movie of the year scored $912,000 in 19 theaters from Thursday to Sunday. The big roll out isn’t until mid January. Very exciting.

“The Interview” Music Controversies: A Fake Katy Perry, and a Rapper Who Says She Wasn’t Paid

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“The Interview” already has a lot of problems including being banned, batted around by President Obama, a million leaked copies online and so on. But there are some other things going on.

During the scene where Kim Jong Un parties with James Franco and topless call girls director Seth Rogen used some rap disco music. It’s called “Pay Day.” And now the singer and songwriter want their payday. According to reports, Feel Ghood Music is considering legal action. They say they were in negotiations with Sony for the use of “Pay Day” by Yoon Mi Rae (she’s Texas born half-Korean, half African American, real name Natasha Reid) but nothing was ever signed. Now while Champagne is being spritzed, “Pay Day” is playing for free. I can’t believe Sony didn’t clear all the music in the film regardless of the controversy.

Meantime, it turns out all the Katy Perry music used in “The Interview” is not real. When Kim first reveals his Katy obsession to James Franco’s Dave Skylark, that’s a real clip of “Firework.” But I guess it was too expensive to use it twice. Or maybe it was that they needed a slow version of “Firework” during the scene in which Kim is killed and his face melts. Producers used a fake Katy– a singer named Jenny Lane who seems to specialize in covers. Her work is all over the web.

Frankly, Jenny Lane– whoever she is– has the looks and pipes to have her own career. Here’s her “Firework” that appears in the movie:

and here’s how it’s used in the movie

Madonna’s “Rebel Heart” Break: Six New Songs Fizzle As Sales Collapse Within Days

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Call it Rebel Heart-break. Last week Madonna released six tracks to iTunes, hoping to circumvent a spate of demos that were illegally posted on the web. At first, all six songs lodged right into the iTunes top 10 and it looked like Madonna had a success. The plan was to release the balance of the album, called “Rebel Heart,” in March.

But now, just a few days late, five of the six songs are gone from iTunes. Only one, “Bitch I’m Madonna,” featuring Nicki Minaj, remains at a lowly number 188. The album “Rebel Heart,” which lists seven songs (for some reason “Joan of Arc” is there but you can’t hear it) is at number 38 for pre-orders.

On amazon.com things are much much worse.. “Living for Love,” which was supposed to be the lead single, is at number 529 among digital singles. Five hundred twenty nine. And the “Rebel Heart” album is at 167. Ouch!

Madonna, like other legacy artists, has not been able to sell albums in the last decade. “MDNA,” “Hard Candy,” and “American Life” were all sales disasters. New fans are not forthcoming for a 56 year old artist. Old fans only to want to hear the hits. It’s a hard fact of life for everyone, not just Madonna.

This situation with “Rebel Heart” has been a real calamity. The leaked tracks, if Madonna’s peeps didn’t leak them, should have been ignored. Most of her fans wouldn’t have known how to find them anyway. Rushing them out as official releases, nearly a third of the new album, seems to have backfired. Radio didn’t pick anything up, and core fans mostly snubbed the tracks after Madonna admonished them in an Instagram video. Maybe just releasing one track officially would have worked. But a half dozen? With no promotion? No good.

Anyway, I like Madonna’s new songs. I think they’re her best work in years. Hopefully all of “Rebel Heart” will launch properly in March and this episode will have been just a distant nightmare.

Sony Hack? Korea or Inside Job? “The Interview” Plays in 300 Theaters without Incident

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So this was what? Like the Ebola scare? Remember how before Thanksgiving all you heard about was Ebola wiping us off the planet? Then…nothing. For two weeks we heard that North Korea and/or the Guardians of Peace were going to blow up movie theaters if “The Interview.” came out. Well, yesterday the movie played in 300 theaters, was downloaded legally and illegally, made about a million bucks and got bad reviews.

And? And? Nothing. Silence. Peace on Earth. Not a word from anyone. No messages of doom from even the PTA or the real GOP, let alone North Korea. The hysteria is over. Sony execs have been duly embarrassed by their emails. Cynics think Sony is behind the whole thing. Other cynics think some ex-Sony person or someone who had it in for them hired hackers and made it look like it was coming from North Korea.

It’s the end of another ridiculous non story. “The Interview” was going to get bad reviews. This way, those reviews don’t matter. Everyone can watch it. Sony will write down the cost of the movie and put it behind them. Angelina Jolie, Barack Obama, and Denzel Washington won’t talk to them for a while. But in the end, everything will go back to normal in Hollywood. Just rent “S.O.B.” or “The Player.” You could denounce someone’s grandmother in Hollywood, but if you have a good script with a top actor attached, the grandson will be at lunch tomorrow. Grandma be damned.

As for Kim Jong Un: if he plays his cards right he’s going to get a lot of action this weekend. He’s a star.

The Best Movies of 2014– Here’s My List, With Actors, Actresses, Directors

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Everyone wants a list. Or many lists. So here they are. I am a strong supporter of “Boyhood” and “Selma.” Also, Patricia Arquette. If life were fair, “Boyhood” would win Best Picture, Oyelowo Best Actor, Julianne Moore Best Actress, Arquette and Simmons in supporting. The problems this year were just too many great performances. Everyone was on their game.

My sentimental favorite film, “Begin Again,” fizzled but its song- “Lost Stars”– should win Best Song. Hands down. “Belle” is the underdog of the year; Gugu Mbatha Raw must be nominated. And look at the list of lead actors. There are 8. Whom do you remove? Keaton? Isaac? Murray? What about Jake Gyllenhaal? By the way. “Foxcatcher” is the most underrated movie of the year. It’s simply outstanding. And “The Imitation Game” is by far the Best Ensemble. A final note about “American Sniper.” It’s easy to be snarky when you have a Legend with lots of Oscars (Eastwood) and a failed movie earlier in the year (Jersey Boys). Don’t take it, or him, for granted.

The one really botched situation: Al Pacino in Barry Levinson’s “The Humbling.” It should have been sold to a distributor, held for next year, and given a real release. Forcing it into this Oscar year with no support was tragic. Someone please rescue that movie.

BEST PICTURE
American Sniper
Begin Again
Belle
Birdman
Boyhood
Foxcatcher
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game
Into the Woods
Selma
Theory of Everything
Whiplash
Unbroken
BEST ACTOR
Steve Carell
Bradley Cooper
Benedict Cumberbatch
Oscar Isaac
Michael Keaton
Bill Murray
David Oyelowo
Eddie Redmayne
BEST ACTRESS
Marion Cotillard
Felicity Jones
Julianne Moore
Gugu Mbatha-Raw
Reese Witherspoon
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Robert Duvall
Ethan Hawke
Edward Norton
Mark Ruffalo
J.K. Simmons
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Patricia Arquette
Jessica Chastain
Laura Dern
Carmen Ejogo
Keira Knightley
BEST DIRECTOR
Ava Duvernay
Clint Eastwood
Richard Linklater
Bennett Miller
Morten Tyldum

Kim Jong Un Tells James Franco in Film: “I’ve Got a Butt Hole and It’s Working Overtime”

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“Do you pee and poo?” This is a conversation between Kim Jung Un and Dave Skylark, played by James franco, in “The Interview.” Kim reassures Dave– while they drink margaritas after shooting hoops– that he is human. “So you have a butt hole?” Kim: “I have a butt hole, and it’s working over time.”

As I am now watching my $5.99 download of the film, I’m picking things out. Frist of all, yes Brian Williams, Scott Pelley and a slew of news people conclude that Kim is the modern Hitler. “A lot of people say you’re bat shit crazy,” Skylark offers. “They’re not wrong,” responds Kim. “They called me incompetent.”

Orgy scene: Kim tells Dave “there’s one thing I get tons of — pussy!” This is after Kim tells Dave that his father, Kim Jong Il, said “He said my brothers and I were all too feminine. That our luxurious lifestyles turned us into homosexuals.” Dave asks Kim, “Did he say margaritas are gay?”

the interview champagneWell, the so called orgy scene takes place in a bar. Kim– played by Randall Park– lands a big kiss on Dave’s lips when they play spin the bottle with bikini clad call girls. The girls also make out with each other, and play with a giant sex toy shaped as a missile.  Kim is NOT naked but the women are. A shirtless Franco sprays Champagne at Kim and vice versa in slow motion with topless girls.

Keep refreshing…

I’ve got to say something here– the movie is very funny. It’s completely outrageous. Franco is very very good as Dave Skylark. And I already had a crush on Lizzy Caplan. Randall Park is wickedly on point. But why did Rogen use the actual name Kim Jong Un and the real country? A made up name would have been just as funny. There are comparisons to “Borat.” He used Kazakhstan. But they aren’t a nuclear threat with a crazy dictator.  Otherwise, audiences should howl while looking over their shoulders for terrorists. A great movie to watch at home, frankly. Perfect for VOD.

Is there any precedent for mocking a dictator? Sure. Charlie Chaplin, Mel Brooks and Quentin Tarantino have had their fun with Hitler. But we won the war. Hitler is dead. Fifty, sixty years had passed. Kim Jong Un is sitting there right now. Can he take a joke? Frankly, “The Interview” hips him up a lot. He may get more action now.

 

“The Interview” Scores Manhattan: Lincoln Center Film Society Schedules Two Shows a Day

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I really like Kent Jones, but really: the Film Society of Lincoln Center has just announced they will be the home for “The Interview.” They’re going to show it once in the morning at 10:45am and again at night 11:30pm. Do they think this is Kurosawa? Or a film from a suppressed regime? This is Seth Rogen. There are dick jokes. And ‘bro’ jokes. And toilet humor galore. And yes, the dictator of North Korea is assassinated while Katy Perry’s “Firework” is playing. Well, it’s good money for Lincoln Center. Go for it, kids!

http://www.filmlinc.com/films/on-sale/the-interview

Madonna Hacked Again, Leaking Once More: 14 More Tracks On Line Somewhere– N Korea Not Blamed (Yet)

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Madonna has been hacked and is leaking once again. She needs Depends at this point! Fourteen more tracks are somewhere on the internet — I haven’t heard them yet. One features Pharrell, of course. Is this the work of a villain? North Korea? Sony? Guardians of Peace? The actual GOP? It’s hard to believe that after the first batch of songs leaked, and were “rushed” onto iTunes, more security measures weren’t in place. I guess next week we get the next batch on iTunes. And so on. Where are all the emails between Amy Pascal and Madonna re: Kabbalah? That’s next!

Tracklist, courtesy of website Idolator:
tracks leaked today:

— Iconic
— Veni Vidi Vici
— Beautiful Scars
— Freedom
— God Is Love
— Hold Tight
— Best Night
— Inside Out
— Tragic Girl
— Nothing Lasts Forever
— Holy Water
— Graffiti Heart
— Body Shop
— Back That Up (Do It) feat. Pharrell

PS Buy your tickets for Garland Jeffreys at Joe’s Pub on New Year’s Eve: http://joespub.publictheater.org/reserve/index.aspx?performanceNumber=26196

Tell him you want to hear “Matador” and “Original Sin”:

 

Garland Jefferys – “Original Lust” from Impossible NYC on Vimeo.

Exclusive: Sony Registers “See The Interview” Website in Panama, Where There Are Links

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Most Sony websites are registered in the US, with Sony’s Culver City address listed. The website for the movie “The Interview” was updated that way on December 17th, the same day Sony cancelled the movie.

But the website to rent the movie digitally– seetheinterview.com — is registered in Panama, outside the US. All the info for the site owner is hidden.

Panama, famously, has links. Only they aren’t digital. They’re in the canals.

Sony registered www.seetheinterview.com on December 21st, or rather updated it. It looks like the url existed prior to that. That’s fast work considering the studio said the movie was not going to be released at all. Bravo!