People are complaining that Carrie Underwood has been chosen to sing for Trump’s inauguration.
In fact, she is the perfect choice. Underwood’s biggest hit is called “Before He Cheats.”
We know that Trump is a serial cheater. He’s cheated on all of his wives with subsequent wives: on Ivana with Marla, on Marla with Melania. He cheated on Melania with Stormy Daniels.
The lyrics:
Right now, he’s probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blonde tramp
And she’s probably getting frisky
Right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
‘Cause she can’t shoot a whiskey
Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick
This could be his first dance song at the Inauguration.
Underwood hasn’t had a hit in eons. Her record sales are minimal, which is probably what’s led her to take this job. Certainly, her iTunes sales will skyrocket on January 20th. “Before He Cheats” will hit number 1. So you see? There is a larger plan in the universe.
