It was all in jest last night at the Hollywood Film Awards at the Beverly Hilton. Our LEAH SYDNEY reports that Robert DeNiro, who rarely speaks for very long, went on at some length when he won Best Supporting Actor for “Silver Linings Playbook” (an award that may duplicate itself as the season goes on). DeNiro said: “I’m an old hand at award ceremonies.  I’ve handed out Oscars to Sean Penn, Eli Wallach and Francis Ford Coppola. I even gave Ben Stiller an award,  I think it was at a lunch or something.  Hell I even gave Don Rickles an award and I don’t even like him.  I’ve given a half a dozen lifetime achievement awards to Marty Scorsese, even though Leo DiCaprio has taken my place as his go-to guy.”

Most of the evening had something to do with Harvey Weinstein, who was there. DeNiro won for “Silver Linings,” Dustin Hoffman got an award for “Quartet,” Ben Affleck–who made his name with Harvey–got an award for “Argo.” Quentin Tarantino, whose “Django Unchained” is getting ready to launch, was there, as were “Silver Linings” director David O. Russell and star Bradley Cooper, plus former “Chicago” Oscar nominee Richard Gere (“Chicago”), Marion Cotillard, Amy Adams (in Harvey’s “The Master”), and Judd Apatow.

It was quite an A list soiree for Carlos de Abreu,  founder and executive director of the awards of the Hollywood Film Festival, and of Hollywoodnews.com.

Lots of bawdy humor and inside jokes make this ceremony the cleverest one of the season. Bradley Cooper was given the Hollywood Actor Award by director-designer Tom Ford. Cooper said: “David O. Russell took a real shot with me which is not lost on me at all.  I hit the jackpot.  “

Next up was Seth Rogen who gave The Comedy Award to Judd Apatow.  Seth said sarcastically.” It’s awesome that I get up after two of the most handsome men in the universe. [Cooper and Ford] I would f— them both.”

Seth went on to say, “So this is the first stop of the awards season or if you work in comedy it’s the last stop of the awards seasons.  Les Miz just f—ed us all.  Why is it so hard for comedies?  Amazing thing about this awards show; none of these movies have come out yet.  Who votes for these things?  Somebody named Carlos?  I picture Carlos The Jackal.”

Abreu, a lovely guy, has a good thick skin, thank goodness.

Seth went on about his feelings for Judd.  “Hey Judd is a good director.  But not as good as Ben Affleck.  If Judd had directed ‘Argo,’ it would have been unsuspenseful and sucked.”

With the crowd laughing, Judd came on and said, “Seth just did my entire f—ng speech.”

Real life CIA Agent Tony Mendez, on whose story “Argo” is based, gave Ben his award.

Ben Affleck said” “I’m honored to play somebody who’s a real person and an American hero.  It’s more than profoundly humbling, its an education and extraordinary.  I’d like to thank all the showbiz people here,” Then Ben looked specifically at Harvey Weinstein and said, “Harvey” to which the crowd cracked up.

Dustin Hoffman, who received The Hollywood Breakthrough Director Award for his film ‘Quartet,’ also spoke directly to Weinstein:  “I see Harvey in front of me, he gave me wonderful notes.  It doesn’t mean that for my next one I’ll listen to them.”  Dustin then went on to thank his agent, WME’s Adam Venit, and his wife Lisa Hoffman, who quipped, “Unfortunately I found out that they were having an affair.  It was their way of getting me out of LA.”

Helen Hunt presented the Hollywood Breakthrough Performance Award to her Sessions co-star John Hawkes.  John remarked, “after 26 years in the business, its never too late to make a first impression.”

Diablo Cody gave The Hollywood Screenwriter Award to Quentin Tarantino.  Quentin commented, “It’s strange to get an award while you’re still in the editing room.  I’m literally going to go home and watch dallies to cut tomorrow.  Away we go!”

Richard Gere then got the last award of the night, the Hollywood Career Achievement Award, presented to him by Edward Norton.  Gere dedicated to his agent of over forty years, the late Ed Limato.  Richard said, “I’m not aware of time very much.  I don’t think I’m old enough to get these kind of awards yet, but I appreciate it.”

Here’s the last item (I think) from Rod Stewart’s new book. It’s all about his friendly competition with Elton John:

From time to time this rivalry has driven Elton to pull off some beautifully organized stunts. In 1985 I had a bunch of massive footballs, the size of blimps, tethered above Earls Court to mark the fact that I was doing concerts there. Elton hired a sniper to shoot them down with an air rifle. Or like the time the banner for my Blondes Have More Fun tour, outside the same venue, was matched by one that Elton put up on an opposite building, which read, “But Brunettes Make More Money.”

There is no more generous person on this earth, though, than Elton— just incredibly generous. I have watches he has given me for birthdays: lavish, thickly jeweled pieces engraved “From Elt.” He gave my first wife, Alana, with whom he remained good friends after she and I separated, a Steinway piano. Those don’t come cheap.

And then there was the Christmas where I thought long and hard about the present I was going to give him. That’s always a tough one: What do you get the man who has bought himself everything? Eventually, though, after a bit of scouring around the shops, I lit upon the solution: a novelty portable fridge. … And it cost me about £ 300, which I thought was enough. Elton’s present to me that year: a Rembrandt. A drawing— The Adoration of the Shepherds. A fucking Rembrandt! I felt pretty small— although not as small as Elton presumably wanted me to feel when he later referred tartly to my present as “an ice bucket.” It was not an ice bucket. It was a novelty portable fridge.

Anyway, I played it a bit better on his fiftieth birthday in 1997. I bought him a full-size, sit-under hairdryer like the ones you see in women’s hair salons. Two years later, he marked my marriage to Rachel with a £ 10 voucher from Boots.* On the card he wrote, “Get yourself something nice for the house.”

Yes, Denise Rich did revoke her American citizenship last spring, and left the United States. But she was back triumphantly Monday being very American– raising money for her Gabrielle’s Angel Foundation dinner.  The annual Angel Ball is named for her daughter who lost a battle with cancer in the 1990s. This year’s Angel Ball  was back at Cipriani downtown with a lot of celebrities, money people, actual stars, and a sort of ceaseless flow of tall, gorgeous, willowy models. In the end, Rich raised $3.7 million at the Angel Ball, a high water mark after a few difficult years in the recession.

So who was there? The current Angel Ball parties will never equal the first couple with Bill Clinton, Sarah Ferguson and Michael Jackson. Nothing will ever compare to the one in 1999 when 1,500 people arrived at the Sheraton Hotel’s massive ballroom with no computerized seating plan. People are still telling stories of Geraldo Rivera taking the stage and advising everyone to “Sit down wherever you are. You’ll make a new friend.” That’s how I wound up sitting with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.

But this year was pretty good. Natalie Cole, Smokey Robinson and Nelly all performed, and all hung out at the dinner tables before and after their times on stage. Kanye West, looking spiffy in his tux, brought Kim Kardashian, daughter of O.J. Simpson’s late friend and attorney. (Apparently she’s on a reality show.) Nelly came with long time girlfriend Ashanti, the R&B singer, and her great mom, Tina. Also spotted: Nile Rodgers, Stephen Baldwin, and Jane Seymour and Stacy Keach.

Nelly also calls Tina “mom,”  which is sweet. He’s also had the diamond studded grill work removed from his teeth. “I bought myself some new teeth,” he told me, smiling wide and showing off a very nice pearly set of natural looking choppers. Good for him. Late rhe sang “Hot in Here,” and made everyone crazy on the dance floor. Nelly also begged Smokey to get a picture with him, which Ashanti’s mom took.

Clive Davis, the great grand pasha of the record business, commanded the Hollywood table: Joan Collins and husband Percy; George Hamilton and his girlfriend; Nikki Haskell, looking like a million bucks, and some personal friends. Clive says the Whitney Houston special on CBS, scheduled to air now on November 16th, is excellent and should not be missed.

Of course, Clive was more interested in hearing Natalie and Smokey, each of whom absolutely killed their short sets. Natalie, who’s about to record a music of Latin music, never looked or sounded better. She finished with an extended version of her signature hit, “This Will Be,” that was Latin flavored and full of soul. Smokey was off the charts– “Being with You,” “My Girl,” and a rendition of “The Tracks of My Tears” that almost brought the cavernous Cipriani space to total silence because the guests were so enthralled. Smokey told me he’s off to make an album in “Spanglish.”

And then there’s Denise, who sails through controversy like PT109 on a mission. There were some random protesters outside, shouting something. They were dispatched with very quickly. First Denise spoke, reminding the well-heeled guests that her mother, sister, and daughter all died of cancer. Star Jones conducted the early part of the auction. Bejeweled hands shot into the air. Men took out their leather billfolds. Someone pledged $250,000 right away. Ten people promised $25,000 apiece. “What do you get for that?” someone asked me. The answer: a tax deduction. No trips or tickets to games or donated paintings.

One speaker was not famous: the lovely and articulate Suleika Jouoad came to the podium. She’s 24 and has written about her very serious form of leukemia in the NY Times. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/27/a-cancer-patients-best-friend/ She looks like a young Sinead O’Connor with a pinch of Amy Adams. She’s not supposed to be alive. But she’s cancer free right now. And her story was so moving that I think people who would never have given much money dug deep down.

Hugh Grant, off our movie screens for a bit, is coming back. He’s making a romantic comedy written and directed by Marc Lawrence, of Sandra Bullock fame. Can she be far behind? Hugh will play a washed up screenwriter who takes a teaching job in New England and falls for a single mom. Lawrence and Grant teamed up before, with Bullock, on “Two Weeks Notice.” This new untitled film sounds very cutting edge. Sorry to be snarky, but Hugh Grant is capable of more than this. At this age, you’d think he’d be attempting to stretch more as an actor.