Home Celebrity Taylor Swift Sets Record for Selling Most Crap in One Week to...

Taylor Swift Kennedy–er, not yet exactly– set a record last week. She sold the second highest number of digital singles so far, and the most for a female ever. The godawful “I’m Never Going to Write a Song about Anything Other than a Celebrity Break Up” sold 623,000 copies through digital downloading services. Uh wait, the song is called “I Am Never Getting Back Together with You” or something. It follows all her other songs with the exact same theme.

Swift is 22. She’s dating HIGH SCHOOL senior–yes he returns to high school next week– Conor Kennedy, age 18. By the time she was 22, Carole King had written “The LocoMotion,” “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow,” “Chains,” and “He Don’t Love You Like I Love You.” By the time they were 22, John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote–like– everything. Mozart wrote “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” when he was 5. I can’t believe anyone likes that stupid “Getting Back Together” song so much. But the Kennedy publicity has been off the wall. Conor should ask for a cut of sales.

Justin Bieber may now take a look through the Kennedy cousins to see if there’s anything there for him.

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Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.
7 replies to this post
  1. You are hilarious and you’re correct on all points. She’s attractive and her fingers know how to move up and down over the guitar strings. IT DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S TALENTED. It’s nauseating to know that so many people have been fooled by her and her pub machine.

  2. Tell us how you really feel, Roger. I haven’t heard Taylor Swift’s new album, but I’m so tired of singers writing revenge music. An occasional well-written song, perhaps. But to keep grinding out one-sided accounts of heart-break and lost love, one album after another, is so monotonous, wearisome and puerile. I can’t help but wonder if the singer might be the problem in these failed “relationships.”

  3. You realy sound like a nasty, jealous, hateful person. You may not like it, but this song has a good shot at being the most down loaded song in history. This song was created by Taylor, Max, & Johan to reintroduce Taylor to radio with a lighthearted pop earworm made to dominate the airwaves. Its catchy and like. It or not you can’t get it out of your head. Taylor will sing it at the VMA’s and the following week it will sell 1million downloads. This is brilliant markitng to prepare for the release of her new album RED. You are a wannabe music critic and she just keeps growing the most loyal fanbase in the music buusiness. Im a betting man and I would bet the farm on Taylor and her ability to still sell SELL music. I wouldn’t bet a red cent on you.

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