Last year, Jennifer Lopez — aka JLo– had a lovely turn in the Amazon MGM movie, “Unstoppable.”
When the movie played in Toronto, there was some Oscar buzz. If “Unstoppable” had had a real release, Lopez might have been in the conversation. But it was buried.
Now comes “Kiss of the Spider Woman.” The new take on the 1985 musical comes from Roadhouse Attractions. I jokingly call them Roadkill Attractions. Everything they touch turns to dross.
That seems to be the case for “Spider Woman.” Despite decent reviews, “Spider Woman” is set to have a dismal weekend.
I can’t be alone as a member of the Critics Choice Association and reviewer for Rotten Tomatoes when I say that I’ve never received even an email about the movie. Nothing, Nada. I was surprised to learn that they had a New York premiere this week (the same night as the Timothee Chalamet surprise screening at the New York Film Festival).
On Metacritic “Spider Woman” has a 60 rating. The number is higher on Rotten Tomatoes — 80 — but it’s inflated by bloggers and influencers. Top critics also have it around 60%.
“Spider Woman” is directed by Bill Condon, who’s had major hits with “Dreamgirls,” and “Beauty and the Beast.” He won an Oscar for writing “Gods and Monsters,” and also wrote “The Greatest Showman.” So he knows what he’s doing.
The cast actually stars Diego Luna — so popular from “Andor” — and a one-named actor called Tonatiuh, who’s getting high praise but I know nothing whatsoever about him. No one else does either. If he’s that good in the movie, that’s a shame.
“Spider Woman” opens tomorrow night in previews, with very few tickets sold despite JLo doing her damnedest to promote the film single-handedly. You can tell this whole enterprise is going to end in tears. Lopez’s one solution is to hire her own Oscar specialist, and not depend on Roadkill, er, Roadhouse. Otherwise, this will be a lot of work out the window.
