One of the Real Housewives of New York–women who are not and never have been housewives– says she knows which ones will go and which will stay when filming for their next season commences. Mind you, I have never written a word ever about any of the Real Housewives shows. I have never seen a minute of any of the editions, even when I accidentally appeared in the first episode of the Beverly Hills show when Kelsey Grammer got filmed during his premiere of “La Cage aux Folles” on Broadway a couple of years ago.
But over the weekend, I did meet Sonja Tremont Morgan, who is on the New York show, and is trying to market a Toaster Oven. So far, the Toaster Oven has not appeared, and even though she explained to me all her marketing ideas, I’m still not sure why GE or DeLonghi or Sunbeam hasn’t come along and branded one of their existing Toaster Ovens with her name. It would make a lot of sense, no?
In my life I have actually known two women who became “housewives.” I knew Bethany Frankel, slightly, before she got on the show. And I’ve known the wonderful Carole Radziwill a long time– even though I’ve never seen her on the show. I would rather be forced to watch The Knitting Channel.
Anyway, Ms. Morgan was a delightful dinner companion. She told me she’d been married to the great great grandson of John Quincy Adams, who was also descended from J.P. Morgan. Right away, this is pretty amazing. She is, by checking, 50 years old this year. She looks 40. However, Mr. Morgan is 83. Their marriage produced a child, but was brief. “He had a car accident, almost died, was in a coma,” she told me. “When he woke up, he had amnesia and didn’t remember me or his daughter.”
Wow! Isn’t that a screenplay? Why hasn’t she produced that movie, or sold the rights, I wondered? It turns out she once did promise to produce a movie, didn’t do it, and was sued by the people involved. She lost millions.
Anyway, back to “Real Housewives.” I didn’t know who they were, but Sonja Morgan says she could guess who will be ‘out’ for the next season. “LuAnn and Heather,” she said. LuAnn is a Berlin, Connecticut girl who married a real life Count, named deLesseps. He divorced her, however. Now she is known as Countess LuAnn deLesseps. And Heather is a woman who is suing the owner of Spanx, the form fitting underwear, for allegedly stealing her idea. Heather Thomson has a company called “Yummie Tummies.”
We are not at the Oscars anymore, you dig?
A friend of mine insists: “This is big, big news.” So I am telling you. It’s Sunday and the Yankees have already played. So I have time for this.
Please, someone, make this Toaster Oven. Sonja has whole lines of things she’s ready to license: aprons, napkins, blenders, etc. We are ready. John Quincy Adams is ready. So is J.P. Morgan.