Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Good News! I’ve Inherited $13 Billion, I Just Got the News from an Unsolicited Letter


My ship has come in! I’ve inherited $13 billion from an unknown relative. This is according to an email I’ve received from James Walcott. I can’t tell you how excited I am. Read this letter! I will have to split the money with Mr. Walcott, but that’s ok! The internet is a wonderful place full of glorious surprises, isn’t it? The first thing I’m going to do when I get the money– seven billion dollars!!!– is build a zoo with talking animals. Then I’m going to become an independent film producer. So much to do! So little time!

Here’s the missive from Mr. Walcott, my new best friend:

Dear Mr. Roger Friedman,

Thanks so much for your mail.

I so much appreciate your response and I want you to understand that I might not be sure that you are related to my late client Robert Friedman. It is also possible that you may not even know him. But the main reason why I contacted you is based on the fact that you share the same last name with him which will be of great importance to us in achieving success in this transaction. I will provide the bank with every necessary information about my late client and legal documents that will be used to prove your kinship with my late client to enable them release the fund to you.

I guarantee you that this transaction will be executed on legitimate ground without any breach of law. So, I do not want you to entertain any atom of fear in this transaction OK? All that I require from you is that you follow my advise carefully and co-operate with me to enable us achieve success in this transaction. I assure you that we will share this fund 50/50 as soon as it is released to you. I will personally come over to your country as soon as this fund is released to you and we will share the fund on the agreed ratio without problems.

I want you to give me your word of Honor that you are going to keep this transaction confidential and co-operate with me without greediness so that we can get started immediately. I also want you to note that I do not want you to delay this transaction at all. I want you to be checking your mail regularly to know when I have written to you because I will not delay in responding to you.

Meanwhile, I am not supposed to tell you this because it is a kind of personal problem but for you to know how serious and true this is and also due to your interest and trust we both need in this transaction I am forced to let you know. My wife is late, she died in 2015 due to heart attack and now my little only son has a kidney infection and needs a kidney transplant. Our medical doctor referred us to India but I cannot afford it and that is why I have embarked on this project to enable me raise enough money for his treatment. I have spent all my life savings trying to give him life until the transplant have been done. So please, I want you to give me your word of Honor that you are not going to make this my last hope vanish by jeopardizing this transaction.

I have also attached my picture, my son picture and a copy of my attorney license/certificate and my passport in this mail for your clarification, also for establishment of trust between us.

As soon as I receive your word of Honor, we will get the ball rolling immediately. Meanwhile, if you have any questions regarding to my information, do not hesitate to ask me as I will always be ready to give you all the necessary information and guidelines you need to avoid jeopardy. Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Thanks so much for your understanding and co-operation in advance.

You can call me with this phone number

God bless you and your family.

Best Regards,
Hon. James Walcott,esq.

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedmanhttps://www.showbiz411.com
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

Read more

In Other News