American Music Awards Nominations: The Culture is Pretty Much Dead

Here they are. Sift through this rubble if you dare. Dick Clark Productions, now owned by the people who own the Hollywood Reporter and who also produce the Golden Globes, are in charge of this. Nostradamus predicted the end of the world this year, didn’t he? He was right.I’ve bold faced my choices, but they mean absolutely nothing except that there was a squirt gun pointed at my head. The winners will be informed before the show so no one will be embarrassed. Except us.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Justin Bieber
Drake
Maroon 5
Katy Perry
Rihanna

NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR
J. Cole
fun.
Gotye
Carly Rae Jepsen
One Direction

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST POP/ROCK
Justin Bieber
Flo Rida
Pitbull
Usher

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST POP/ROCK
Kelly Clarkson
Nicki Minaj
Katy Perry
Rihanna

FAVORITE BAND, DUO OR GROUP POP/ROCK
fun.
Maroon 5
One Direction
The Wanted

FAVORITE ALBUM POP/ROCK*
Justin Bieber, Believe
Maroon 5, Overexposed
Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded
One Direction, Up All Night

*no choice here. ridiculous

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST COUNTRY
Jason Aldean
Luke Bryan
Eric Church

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST COUNTRY
Miranda Lambert
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE BAND, DUO OR GROUP COUNTRY
Zac Brown Band
Lady Antebellum
Rascal Flatts

FAVORITE ALBUM COUNTRY
Luke Bryan, Tailgates & Tanlines
Lionel Richie, Tuskegee
Carrie Underwood, Blown Away

FAVORITE ARTIST RAP/HIP-HOP
Drake
Nicki Minaj
Tyga

FAVORITE ALBUM RAP/HIP-HOP
J. Cole, Cole World: The Sideline Story
Drake, Take Care
Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded

FAVORITE MALE ARTIST SOUL/R&B
Chris Brown
Trey Songz
Usher

FAVORITE FEMALE ARTIST SOUL/R&B
Beyoncé
Mary J. Blige
Rihanna

FAVORITE ALBUM SOUL/R&B
Chris Brown, Fortune
Rihanna, Talk That Talk
Usher, Looking 4 Myself

FAVORITE ARTIST ALTERNATIVE ROCK
The Black Keys
Gotye
Linkin Park

FAVORITE ARTIST ADULT CONTEMPORARY
Adele
Kelly Clarkson
Train

FAVORITE ARTIST LATIN
Don Omar
Pitbull
Shakira

FAVORITE ARTIST CONTEMPORARY INSPIRATIONAL
Jeremy Camp
Newsboys
tobyMac

FAVORITE ARTIST ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC (EDM)
David Guetta
Calvin Harris
Skrillex