For the launch cover of W Youth, Justin Bieber and wife Hailey Baldwin Bieber answer a few simple questions from the magazine.
The results are not surprising but they are frightening for people considered role models. The answer answers reveal a lack of education, and cultural stimulation, or natural curiosity. They are simpletons. They were AI — anti-intelligence — before it was popular.
Neither of them, for example, can choose a Favorite Artist of All Time. We might think artist means a painter or sculptor, but the magazine means musician. They’re not being pressed about Matisse or Rembrandt. But the couple cannot say one way or another. Justin doesn’t even cite Usher. who was his pal long ago. Hailey, oddly, refrains from choosing her husband.
Hailey’s favorite movie is “The Grinch.” His is “The Break Up,” a forgettable 2006 romcom starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. It scored a 34% on Rotten Tomatoes. “The Grinch,” of course, is a 2018 animated Christmas movie based on the book by Dr. Seuss. That is her favorite movie. She is two months shy of turning 30 years old, and is described as a “billionaire” from the sale of a cosmetics brand.
They have no film vocabulary, even at age 30. It wouldn’t have to be Scorsese, or Kurosawa, or something even a hip comedy like “Airplane!” They don’t even choose “Star Wars,” which was groundbreaking. I’m actually shocked there was no question about favorite video game.
She likes New York, when asked her favorite city. This makes sense. The Baldwins are from Long Island. New York is their closest city. He takes Los Angeles. He doesn’t choose Toronto or Vancouver even though Bieber is from Canada. This is odd even though, presumably, they’ve been all over the world. Paris, Madrid, Rome, London?
How we know they are suited to each other? They each enjoy going to the spa. It’s their favorite way to relax. They each prefer to be pampered. They each say, simply, “Spa.” Not even a specific spa, or part of the experience. Just “spa.”
She likes Thanksgiving. He likes Christmas, as far as holidays go. I thought Justin, a Bible thumper, would choose Easter actually. Kwanzaa and Chanukah are out.
Hailey, when asked, says, “I don’t have a fun hobby.” That’s too bad. No horse back riding, or even knitting. Justin likes Golf. And, when he was younger, spitting on strangers from a high perch.
A favorite karaoke song? Hailey will let loose to “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. The opening lyrics — Is this the real life/Or is this just fantasy — say a lot about her choice. I thought it was interesting she didn’t pick a Bieber tune. Justin, however, goes for something called “With You,” by Chris Brown, a noted abuser who, according to the BBC, has faced various other lawsuits and police reports regarding alleged physical altercations, threats, and civil disputes, including dismissed sexual assault allegations and a civil suit regarding a dog attack.
I think it’s cool that Justin can separate the man and his art.
Favorite book? This is a trick question since there is nothing for either of them to access having been raised on Game Boy and “My Little Pony.”
Hailey responds that she remembers a book from her childhood called “Angelina Ballerina.” Justin goes for the Bible.
Finally, each must choose a favorite breakfast. Hailey is high cholesterol, which also surprised me because she keeps her figure. She responds with a detailed order: “Two eggs over medium, sliced avocado, hashbrowns, extra crispy bacon.”
As for Justin, an Egg McMuffin will suffice.
In the old days, a publicist would have answered the questions posed to nitwit clients. They’d have concocted something reasonably smart but not too high end so that the couple would come off as relatable. But unless these answers were intended as some kind of satire — and we’re not getting the joke — these are American kids’ role models.
The couple supplied their own photos, which can he seen here.
