Only one reviewer so far on Rotten Tomatoes likes Brett Ratner’s “Melania” documentary.
That’s the London Evening Standard, in an unsurprising kiss ass moment.
Other than that, the movie is completely panned. The rating so far is 8 percent. It would have been zero without without the Evening Standard.
Variety: “A documentary that never comes to life. It’s a “portrait” of the First Lady of the United States, but it’s so orchestrated and airbrushed and stage-managed that it barely rises to the level of a shameless infomercial.”
The Guardian: “The fun’s not infectious and the guests are a nightmare, and two hours of Melania feels like pure, endless hell.”
The Hollywood Reporter “To say that Melania is a hagiography would be an insult to hagiographies. This is a film that fawns so lavishly over its subject that you feel downright unpatriotic not gushing over it.”
There will be more reviews. But actual reviewers were stopped from seeing the movie last night at the Kennedy Center. Audience members from the Kennedy Center and select premieres among Republicans are posting stuffed ballot box raves, but they’re not remotely reflective of the reality of the situation. (They don’t use their real names, for one thing.)
One thing we knew already: there is no Barron, no sound of his voice, or proof of his existence.
Also, Melania Trump evidently has no friends, certainly no girlfriends, or interior life. There is scant proof of her own existence. Her best friend is her clothing designer.
Among the people who didn’t show up for the $75 million launch was Jeff Bezos, who paid the money. I guess he gets what he wants. But at the same time that he fired 16,000 Amazon employees with families and needs like health care and food, it’s not a good look.
I’ll add more reviews as they come in.
PS No word on whether the Kennedy Center guests were given the popcorn bucket.
