Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Actually Thinks New Yorkers Will Move There After Today’s Election, Says (LOL) He’ll Put a Tariff On Them

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Texas Governor Greg Abbott actually thinks New Yorkers give his state a thought.

He says on Twitter that after today’s election, he’ll place a tariff on New Yorkers who want to move to Texas.

This guy is really a joke.

New Yorkers wouldn’t move to Texas if space aliens landed in Central Park.

The state is a backwater, with looney tunes political policies and backwards ideas about race, women, and everything else.

It’s also hot as hell even during the winter.

Seriously, I know a young couple who were pregnant with their first child and lived in Austin. They moved to North Carolina before the baby was born because they were afraid — god forbid — that if something went wrong, Texas’s punitive medical laws could affect them.

The baby, I’m happy to report, entered the world healthy, and happy to be in a halfway normal state.

Abbott is one of the great oafs of the Republican party, an insult to the people of Texas who don’t subscribe to his asinine ideas. Maybe his cowboy hat is too tight.

Yee ha! Listen, Greg, no one’s leaving NYC after the election. We have the Yankees. You have the cheating Astros, case closed. We send you Broadway touring productions. You have to live with the fact that “Oklahoma!” is a famous musical. You’re known for cactus and trying to harm immigrants.

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Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman is the founder and editor-in-chief of Showbiz411. He wrote the FOX411 column on FoxNews.com from 1999 to 2009, where he covered Michael Jackson, and previously wrote the "Intelligencer" column at New York magazine in the mid-1990s, where he covered the O.J. Simpson trial. He also edited Fame magazine. His bylines have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, Vogue, Details, and the Miami Herald. He is a voting member of the Critics Choice Awards (Film and Television branches), and his movie reviews are tracked by Rotten Tomatoes. With D.A. Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus, he co-produced the 2002 documentary "Only the Strong Survive," which screened at Directors' Fortnight at the Cannes Film Festival.

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