SATURDAY UPDATE: “Where Have You Been” shot up to number 2 on iTunes. So we’ll wait and see what happens. If anyone knows who plays the guitar solo, let me know at showbiz411@gmail.com
FRIDAY: Kelly Clarkson should not quit her day job.
Her new single, which she says she wrote, is a disaster. It’s un-singable, which is funny since Clarkson can sing anything better than almost anyone.
But “Where Have You Been?” is DOA, number 33 on iTunes. There’s no chance of anyone streaming it.
Clarkson says it’s based on a line Martin Short says to Meryl Streep in “Only Murders in the Building.” But if he said it without rhyme, conviction, or passion, Meryl would have made him Sophie’s Choice.
Kelly is a great singer but she is not a songwriter. Her best songs were written by others. The ones she insisted on authoring wrecked her recording career.
She keeps saying she wants to quit her talk show. But Kelly doesn’t realize that without astute producers, managers, A&R people she doesn’t have a chance of competing against contemporary performers.
What Clarkson does especially well is sing cover songs on her show. She should record 15 of those, live, and put out an album. Make a Linda Ronstadt tribute album, for god’s sake.
Where has this song been? No one cares. It’s a slog without a melody, hook, or chorus. Then there’s big solo guitar break that comes out of nowhere. Nowhere!
I couldn’t find any credits for this song, but on YouTube there are a dozen or so names involved. If it took a dozen people to make this record, it would have taken 1 million to build the pyramids.
