I’m hearing Taylor Swift may sue herself over the new album, “The Tortured Poets Department.” Then she’ll re-record the album and add seven songs, call it “Tortured Poets (Taylor’s Version).”
Seriously. Both Post Malone and Florence and the Machine are featured on the April 19th release. They are random choices, certainly. Swiftians will spend the next nine weeks trying to figure out the titles of tracks mean. (Tracklist below.)
“So Long London” is easy. It’s her kiss off to Joe Alwyn. “Fortnight” is probably also Alwyn, maybe a duet about breaking up over two weeks’ time and leaving London. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” is either Kanye, Scooter, or a combo. This will be Taylor’s “You’re So Vain.”
The song titled “Clara Bow” will be about the 1920s It Girl movie star who eventually retired to raise cattle. Taylor will somehow compare herself to Clara Bow. At least one of the songs is about Matt Healy from the group 1975 who Taylor dated for two weeks before she met Travis Kelce. I’m surprised there’s no song called “Pigskin” but look for football references throughout.
As I wrote on Monday, the album, the art, the merch was all organized to go with Swift’s fourth Album of the Year win, which she obviously knew about earlier in the night Sunday before she took the Grammys stage. She is an expert at marketing 101. I’m sure there will be a new album by November if not sooner.
PS None of the songs is called “Argylle” because she didn’t write the book that has become a flop movie.
Tracklist:
“Fortnight” (featuring Post Malone)
“The Tortured Poets Department”
“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
“Down Bad”
“So Long, London”
“But Daddy I Love Him”
“Fresh Out the Slammer”
“Florida!!!” (featuring Florence + the Machine)
“Guilty As Sin?”
“Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?”
“I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”
“LOML”
“I Can Do It With A Broken Heart”
“The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”
“The Alchemy”
“Clara Bow”
Bonus Track: “The Manuscript”
