Lindsay Lohan’s brother Michael Lohan Jr. was arrested today in New York. He forged a placard for his windshield pretending he was a New York State staffer from the executive branch. This was so he wouldn’t have to pay at a parking meter. Cops nailed him.
Michael Jr. now becomes the fourth Lohan to be arrested by the police. Lindsay, of course, has a famous record. Her mom, Dina, was caught driving drunk. Father Michael? He spent three years in jail and five on probation after being convicted for criminal contempt during an insider trading investigation. Then he spent another year in jail for jumping bail. He’s had several other brushes with the law involving incarceration.
The prison obsession isn’t confined just to the main family. Michael’s second wife, Kate, has also been cuffed by the police during a domestic dispute with Michael. And Dina’s brother Paul spent a year in jail for fraud concerning a fake 9/11 loss claim.
I may have missed one or two episodes, but you get the idea. The Lohans are a “Law and Order” episode that writes itself. It has to be genetic on both sides. Maybe a top psychiatric team can figure it out. For Long Island, Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher were always the standard bearers. But they have nothing on the Lohans!
There are still two Lohans untouched by the police: Lindsay’s brother Cody and sister Ali. But the odds aren’t good for them. Maybe they should surrender now. Or get a family punch card, so on the sixth arrest someone gets out without bail.
They should really rent David Michod’s “Animal Kingdom” for fun one night.