Home Movies Fake News: Oscar Accountant Held Grudge Against La La Land: She Was...

BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Sources say that Martha Ruiz, one of the PriceWaterhouseCoopers accountants who screwed up the Oscars– had it in for “La La Land.”

I’m told that Ruiz was stuck on the highway that Damien Chazelle used to film the opening sequence of the movie– for hours. “Martha was on that highway when people started jumping out of their cars and dancing on the hoods,” my source says. “She was furious. She had no idea. She was going to see Brian Cullinan”– the other Oscar accountant–“to discuss how screw up the 2016 Grammy awards. It was a Saturday and she didn’t see the road closure sign.”

Ruiz was made to dance repeatedly to the “La La Land” opening song and wasn’t allowed to leave the highway for hours. “She vowed revenge against the movie,” I’m told.

By coincidence, Cullinan may have also had a grudge against the winner “Moonlight.” Sources at rival Ernst & Young are claiming that Cullinan had auditioned for the part that went to Oscar winner Mahershala Ali in the movie. “But he couldn’t swim,” says a source, “and they were afraid to let him do those scenes. He offered to do them in a bathtub, but the Barry Jenkins was against it.”

Cullinan had to settle for seeking his own revenge against the movie. “He had no idea ‘Moonlight” would be nominated let alone be in contention against La La Land. Brian was plotting to make Sully the winner. But it wasn’t even nominated.”

Both Cullinan and Ruiz have been held by authorities all week since the Oscars in an undisclosed location below Academy headquarters. There’s been talk of deportation, or sending both of them to pick up all of the unwatched DVDs of “Toni Erdmann.”

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