When did Ryan Seacrest get a pompadour? Will Mariah Carey get a chest cold before she really says what she thinks about the contestants? Is Nicki Minaj on sedatives? And does anyone care about the 20 “American Idol” contestants? These questions are the most pressing things going on right on “American Idol.” Last night the show– 90 minute special, third edition in a row this week– got a measly 3.5 rating. It was beaten soundly by CBS’s “Big Bang Theory” and “Two and a Half Men.” Even if the rating is revised up a little, it’s still down from the night before, and shows a steady decline.
The problems are numerous. Mariah, who I know is sassy, says very little by the time she gets to comment about a singer. I’d move her position, and make Keith the final speaker. Someone needs to tell Mariah to tell a story when her turn comes, relate the contestant’s performance to something from her experience, criticize them a little. All she’s doing is nodding in assent. And last night her puppies were out and barking. It was, to say the least, distracting. I thought they were going to perform a song on their own.
And then: there is no drama with these earnest, talented contestants. Getting rid of Zoanette takes away a lot of the pizzazz. Angela Miller is very good, but until they get rid of her Farrah Fawcett haircut from 1977 and throw her some curves, the show is going to keep sinking. Where is the cliffhanger? Where is the sobbing? Where is the love?
“American Idol,” wake up. “The Voice” is coming March 25th. And it wants you.