You will read this afternoon about crazy, brain addled Rudy Giuliani, who’s being sued by a former assistant for sexual harassment.
She provides transcripts of Rudy’s rants, which have been picked up by Rolling Stone and other outlets. Among other things, Rudy says: “Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.”
Giuliani is wrong about many things. He also says Matt Damon is five feet two inches. Here’s a message to you, Rudy: Damon is at least 5’9″ and more like 5’10”. I’ve stood with him many times. Maybe you’re thinking of Tom Cruise.
On the first subject, let me remind Rudy that the king of all, uh, private parts was a Jew, Mr. Milton Berle. The great comedian was renowned for his stature.
I had the opportunity to ask Uncle Miltie about this once, in the 90s. We were guests, along with his wife, on a syndicated talk show. The show had a diner set, and Milton and his wife, Lorna, were seated at a small round table in cafe chairs. Milton was cracking wise and carrying on, and we couldn’t stop laughing. Finally, I said, “Mr. Berle, may I ask you about your famous reputation?”
Berle, who was 90 or so, didn’t miss a beat. Before I could finish the question he made the little table rise off the ground. “Ya see?” he said. It was hysterical.
Berle was married four times to three women (married and divorced twice to the first wife). He was with his second wife, Ruth, for decades, but he traveled a lot. Lorna was his fourth wife, technically. Unlike Giuliani, he was never married to a family member. Rudy’s first wife was his cousin.
That should tell you everything. See below:
