Friday, April 19, 2024

Madonna, Seeking Relevance, Teams Up with Pop Fad Sam Smith to Get “Vulgar,” Barely An Actual Idea of a Song for the Dance Floor


You’ve got to be kidding.

Madonna, almost 65 years old, is desperate for relevance.

So she teamed up with a bloated waterbug of a contemporary pop star, Sam Smith, and together they’ve produced a short dance track that just doesn’t live up to its name.

“Vulgar” sounds like a parody of a record Madonna would make from the 90s. The record which lasts just two minutes and thirty five seconds sounds like it’s sampling itself with beats found in a flea market.

Of course, the main audience for the single is the dance floor, where camp is welcome. Otherwise, the only reason for this record is so Smith and Madonna can have a lyric video that reads “S&M.”

Will “Vulgar” be a hit? This weekend, yes. And then it will fade into the dust of all unfinished records, a sample in the middle of dance mixes of other records. Its part is bigger than its whole.

Did I mention that this brief encounter of recycled disco has no less than seven authors including the two singers? Seven! Madonna likely takes 50%. Smith 25%, and the other five split the rest. And no one can ever boast they “wrote” anything original. It’s 2023.

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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