Finally, someone has the solution to the pandemic: home delivery of liquor within 1 hour.
Shop-Rite has the answer is the supermarket’s slogan, and boy do they ever now. Via InstaCart, ShopRite is now encouraging liquor orders that will be fulfilled quickly.
So reads the email:
“Happy hour just got happier!🍷🍻 You can now get your favorite alcohol delivered from ShopRite via Instacart. Let our personal shoppers take care of your grocery shopping while you save an hour, or two.”
“Serving up in as fast as 1 hour. Order alcohol with Instacart and get it delivered right to you.”
We are implored to explore new favorites: “Browse beer, wine, and spirits from local stores.”
“Learn more about each beverage, then add to your cart with a tap.”
Well, this plus the new interest in home betting — Barry Diller just made a $100 million investment in MGM Casinos to get them online — should destroy what’s left of our society. Staying home now includes getting wasted and gambling away your home, the one you can’t afford to pay the mortgage on. I’m in!
You get a personal shopper! No more midday idling up to the counter at the liquor store to ask the difference between the box wines. I know a Judge in Westchester who will be thrilled!
PS I used all the artwork I received with my email from InstaCart. On the main picture I couldn’t decide about the delivery person. You tell me.
Oh, one more thing: someone in Hollywood has got to remake the Patrick Dempsey-Kate Jackson movie about the pizza delivery boy. Only this time, with schnapps!