Tuesday, June 25, 2024

A Deadeyed Justin Bieber, No Doubt Relieved His Tour was Cancelled, Broadcast Personal Pastor on Instagram Live


So what’s Justin Bieber up to?

This week, his now-cancelled tour was supposed to begin. He’s no doubt relieved he didn’t have to go through with it since sales were slowwwwww.

Instead, a dead-eyed Justin broadcast the mundane ramblings of his snake oil salesman personal evangelist Judah Smith* live on Instagram. Justin, always on brand, wore his cheap looking “Drew” t shirt (a $5 shirt with a plastic Drew decal glued to it).

While Smith carried on, an initial 18,000 viewers shrunk to 14,000. Most of them were from other countries and probably didn’t understand what he was ranting about.

Bieber looked either hypnotized or asleep. One viewer actually wrote: “Don’t fall asleep, Justin!”

The singer’s attention suddenly was sharpened when Lentz said something about owning a shiny new red Corvette. Bieber, who was looking at his phone screen, actually focused on Lentz for a minute. It was a religious experience. And Hailey Baldwin Bieber? She helped out by plugging in Justin’s iPad before it ran out of battery. She’s The Good Wife.


*thanks to the reader who corrected me. After Robert Preston sold snake oil in “The Music Man,” it’s hard to tell these people apart.


Roger Friedman
Roger Friedmanhttps://www.showbiz411.com
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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