Home Celebrity A Deadeyed Justin Bieber, No Doubt Relieved His Tour was Cancelled, Broadcast...

So what’s Justin Bieber up to?

This week, his now-cancelled tour was supposed to begin. He’s no doubt relieved he didn’t have to go through with it since sales were slowwwwww.

Instead, a dead-eyed Justin broadcast the mundane ramblings of his snake oil salesman personal evangelist Judah Smith* live on Instagram. Justin, always on brand, wore his cheap looking “Drew” t shirt (a $5 shirt with a plastic Drew decal glued to it).

While Smith carried on, an initial 18,000 viewers shrunk to 14,000. Most of them were from other countries and probably didn’t understand what he was ranting about.

Bieber looked either hypnotized or asleep. One viewer actually wrote: “Don’t fall asleep, Justin!”

The singer’s attention suddenly was sharpened when Lentz said something about owning a shiny new red Corvette. Bieber, who was looking at his phone screen, actually focused on Lentz for a minute. It was a religious experience. And Hailey Baldwin Bieber? She helped out by plugging in Justin’s iPad before it ran out of battery. She’s The Good Wife.

 

*thanks to the reader who corrected me. After Robert Preston sold snake oil in “The Music Man,” it’s hard to tell these people apart.

 

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