Saturday, April 20, 2024 Wants to Share a Word With You About the CoronaVirus and How We’re Taking Care of You


We don’t want to be out of the loop.

All day and some of yesterday I’ve been receiving email after email from every institution and organization I’ve ever encountered. They all want me to know what they’re doing for me during this time of crisis.

This means Macys, GoDaddy, Google, Bloomingdales, a tailor I haven’t seen in years, art galleries, Banana Republic, banks, even Tavern on the Green has something to say about all this. Everyone is wishing me good luck and assuring me they are on top of it. They can’t cure the virus or stop it from spreading. But they’re cleaning themselves, which is not reassuring. How dirty were they in the first place? What other diseases could I have picked up in their stores prior to this? The Broadway theaters are getting “deep cleans.” Yikes! What about last fall? Or ten years ago?

So I feel incumbent to tell you about what I’m doing here at to keep our stories free from the corona virus. Wait. I am doing absolutely nothing. Nada. I mean, I am using hand sanitizer from Bigelow’s. I still have my cough from last year, but I’m not being showy about it, like, this is a vintage cough. I don’t want to make people feel bad. I’m trying to wear more cashmere, if possible. But it’s been a warm winter and some of my sweaters never really got used.

Basically, there is nothing I can do. I am actually looking for large gatherings where celebrities or people of interest will show up. I am thinking of having a party for 499 people. You can only come if you’re famous and feeling a little light headed. We will not test for any virus. But you’ll get a good item out of it. All I can really promise is to stay out of Corona, Queens, at least until it gets warmer and we visit the Ice King of Corona. Then all bets are off.

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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