Deadline.com is reporting that Bruce Willis has made a three picture deal with something called MoviePass Films.
The movies have no directors, and the producers and writers attached to them are people you’ve never heard of.
That’s because MoviePass Films is the new company that used to be called Emmet/Furla/Oasis Films, maker of B or C movies for most of eternity. They make films that play in Europe or Asia, get terrible reviews here, and go straight to video– or now VOD. Willis has made movies with them before, like one called “Lay the Favorite” that had an 18 on Rotten Tomatoes and is playing in a Turkish prison on an iPad. It made $20,000 at the box office.
That’s right: twenty thousand dollars.
The rest of the Emmett/Furla oeuvre is like a DVD bin in the back of a 7-11. Their most recent hit is “Gotti,” starring Travolta, which made $4.3 million.
The first of the three in the new deal is called “10 Minutes Gone.” The director is the widely unheard of Brian A. Miller, the cast is completely unknown with the exception of “The Commish,” Michael Chiklis, whom we all love, but let’s face it, he’s not a movie star.
The next one is actually called “Trauma Center,” which sounds like a parody of a dozen hostage taking crap fests. The writer, Paul da Silva, has no credits. There is no director so far.
All of this sounds like “Get Shorty” in real life.
The best part of the story is that the female star of both “10 Minutes Gone” and “Trauma Center” is the completely unknown 52 year old blonde named Meadow Williams. She’s got an IMDB page full of great titles like the ignominious “Den of Thieves” (from last January, Gerard Butler, $44 mil, she was 5th billed after 50 Cent).
In January Meadow Williams stars in the Emmett Furla/MoviePass production of “Axis Sally,” a World War II shlockfest to be directed by Michael Polish. There isn’t a person alive who wants to see this movie, or will see it, except in Bulgaria and Outer Guam. I’ll say it now, to the producers: please don’t make this movie, and everyone in those countries will now send you $3.
Meadow Williams, by the way, doesn’t look 52. From her pictures, she looks 32. She reminds me of the character from “Episodes” who keeps referring to things that happened in the 1970s even though she looks like she’s in her 30s. In fact, this entire story may be part of “Episodes.”
Meanwhile, Bruce Willis is 63. He cannot make action films no matter what shape he’s in. So a good editor or team of editors will be most appreciated. Bruce Willis should be making movies where he wise cracks a lot in close-up. His comic timing (still) is laser like. Who needs this aggravation? He’s loaded. He’s sold all of his real estate except his house in Bedford, New York. So just kick back, Bruce.