RATINGS UPDATE: “Roseanne” scored 15.1 million viewers last night, down about 3 million from last week’s broadcast, and 10 million from the added in viewings. More to come…
Now that we’ve come back to Earth, let’s talk about “Roseanne” episode 3 called “Roseanne Gets the Chair” in which Dan– who may actually be dead after all — steals what looks like a brand new electric staircase chair from a neighbor’s house. Hilarious, no? No.
In this episode, Dan — John Goodman, looking unwell and very squeamish about his lines — mocks ABC’s “Blackish” and “Fresh Off the Boat” with a racist swipe. I wonder if those shows are going to retaliate. “Yeah, they’re just like us,” Roseanne snidely retorts. And we’re off.
Darlene’s teenage daughter Harris is acting up, hates living with the Conners, and is rude to Roseanne. So what does grandma do? She shoves Harris’s head under the kitchen sink faucet and douses with her water. She holds her by the neck. That’ll teach her! So funny, right? It’s abuse, and cringe-worthy at the least. And oh yeah: Roseanne calls Harris a bitch.
Oscar nominee and Tony winner Laurie Metcalf as Jackie has returned to looking like an electric shock patient in this episode, jettisoning all the strides she made an as actress since she left “Roseanne” in a two minute cameo. Movie star Goodman, so beloved in quirky films, has absolutely nothing to do but spout inane crap and pretend to be Dan, who he’s playing as a ghost.
“Roseanne” is shrill, but it was always shrill. The difference now is that it’s a set up for one liners for self-righteous one liners, there’s no story, it’s just as gross as “Married with Children” used to be. Ironically, “Modern Family” follows “Roseanne” (on abc.com) and it’s the anti-thesis– smart stuff, endearing people who make mistakes and figure them out without resorting to physical violence. And it’s always genuinely funny.
PS Missing from this episode: the black grand-daughter, the cross dressing grandson, Roseanne and Dan’s son who’s married to a black woman, and any mention of the baby surrogacy.