Saturday, June 15, 2024

Apocalypse Now: Justin Bieber’s Monotonous, Grating Vocals Now Occupy the Top 3 Songs on iTunes


Yes, it’s a bad time in the world. Months and months of political chaos. LeBron James fighting for Cleveland’s life. And now this:

The monotonous, grating voice of Justin Bieber now occupy the top 3 singles on iTunes. The most odious pop star of this generation has bleated his way to a hat trick on the charts.

At number 1, it’s David Guetta’s new release, “2 U,” featuring Justin. At number 2, there’s a Spanish track called “Despacito” in which Bieber is remixed into a lively number from Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee.

For number 3, there’s “I’m the One,” in which Bieber is leveraged with Lil Wayne, Chance the Rapper, and Quavo.

None of the singles are his own releases. On all three, he’s the guest star. But his name on the recording, so you can’t avoid it.

All of this is the devilish work of manager Scooter Braun, who should get credit for sticking his Bieber in all the right places. On “Despacito” he’s been turned into the mall food court version of Enrique Iglesias, which is evil genius.

Bieber even managed to get on Ariana Grande’s Manchester UK charity concert last week– because Braun manages both of them. His appearance was perfunctory at best, eclipsed by most of the other acts.

So what’s next? Kennedy Center honors? Hey, why not at this point?

PS Braun is very smart. Look at this video. It already 7.2 million views. Are we surprised? Turn the volume down for future listenings.

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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