UPDATE The reviews are coming, and they’re not good. Keep refreshing…
EARLIER Yes. It’s Oscar season and we have great movies out there– all 8 Oscar nominees, as well as “Unbroken” and “Into the Woods” and “Nightcrawler,” plus the effervescent and lovely “Paddington.”
But Hollywood is hiding this week’s releases, trying to minimize the damage from an onslaught of bad reviews. First up is “Mortdecai” with Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow. There are no press screenings until it’s too late. The movie is a disaster apparently. And Johnny Depp is going to get pasted from the reviews. Lions Gate is hoping the reviews will be too late, and someone will go see this thing before the word gets out.
Disney has “Strange Magic,” an animated film that has already registered 5 negative reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and none positive. This was George Lucas’s project, but he’s already disowned it. There’s quite a backstory to how “Strange Magic” was destroyed. In the meantime you’re better off listening to the ELO hit of the same from the 70s.
Jennifer Lopez? She’s in this horrible looking thing called “The Boy Next Door.” JLO has made some of the worst films ever registered with the MPAA. This one has all the appeal of a Lifetime for Women rerun. Maybe Universal thinks there will be a strong DVD appeal. The commercial trailer is a howler. There are already three negative reviews posted. More are coming. And how hilarious was the effort to suggest JLO and the boytoy in the movie are dating in real life?
And then there’s “Cake.” Rotten Tomatoes has it at 36%. That’s kind. Much as I love Jennifer Aniston, I have no idea what this movie is supposed to be. Don’t waste your daily caloric intake on this concoction, which is not tasty at all.