Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Horror: Madonna Is Being Allowed to Direct Yet Another Movie


This is insane: Madonna is going to direct another movie. Why? Cronyism. There’s no other explanation. Her “W.E.” was one of the great embarrassments in movie history. If you saw that piece of whatever, you remember the Duchess of Windsor dancing to punk music in front of the Duke’s death bed.

Now Madonna will direct a movie based on a novel by Rebecca Walker, the daughter of “Color Purple” author Alice Walker. Madonna will bring all her subtlety to the story of “Ade,” described on amazon thusly:

“When Farida, a sophisticated college student, falls in love with Adé, a young Swahili man living on an idyllic island off the coast of Kenya, the two plan to marry and envision a simple life together—free of worldly possessions and concerns. But when Farida contracts malaria and finds herself caught in the middle of a civil war, reality crashes in around them. The lovers’ solitude is interrupted by a world in the throes of massive upheaval that threatens to tear them apart, along with all they cherish.”

I mean, under Madonna’s eye, hilarity will ensue. What’s the deal here? First Anna Wintour puts Kanye and the wife on the cover of Vogue, now this. The general public must hear these things and wonder if everyone’s gone mad.

And it’s not just that Madonna can’t act and can’t direct. Financially, why would anyone get involved in this? Her last movie cost over $15 million. It made only $582,075 in the US and $285,000 abroad. Even the Brits didn’t want to see it. And this new movie is set in Africa, setting for Madonna’s hilariously stupid documentary “I Am Because We Are.”

Blame it on the Polar Vortex, I guess!

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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